Would you want this hurtling towards you and your brand new camera phone?
I barely had time to retreat.
This is Rachel Zoe. She's awesome, and probably the most adorable kid ever. Especially when she tells you that you're beautiful (unless you wear your hair in a ponytail, then unfortunately, you are no longer a girl - I believe 3 years old is when you start defining gender).
Rachel and I spent the weekend together and I learned a lot. Mainly what I learned was that I, indeed, do not want children.
She great, don't get me wrong. But she's very...busy.
I turned my back for 24.3 seconds and in that time she successful painted her entire arm in finger paint. A think coating. And cleaning her off was no walk in the park.
Speaking of which, she doesn't do that, walking in parks. After a solid 20 minutes of playing (consisting of me climbing around with her) she requests being carried home. And of course I oblige because I'm a sucker.
At the end of the weekend she pronounced to Annie (who left an hour after the parents did and returned 3 hours before they came back as to give the impression she was there the entire time) that she peed her pants over the weekend (2 times, both on me) and she "...wasn't sorry".
Nice.
Thanks Rachel. I had a great and exhausting time. Next time our parents go out for the weekend I'll need to get a B12 shot before coming over. Or I could just use your Epi-Pen junior.
Things Jessie Learned This Weekend With Rachel:
- She's adorable at 6AM
- She's not so adorable at 6:30AM when she tells you she's hungry
- Never believe her when she says "Trust me, Jessie"
- Her timidness about getting her hands dirty with finger paint is a ruse to lull you into complacency so she can lunge at you with tiny paint covered hands
- For the love of all that is holy, don't leave the house without Cheerios
- Watching the same movie over and over again is very soothing
- "The Land Before Time" movie has been ruined as it is on it's 15th sequel, somewhere Little Foot is weeping
- She's precious
- Dora is the devil
- Rachel's pretty
- When trying to feed Rachel, bacon always trumps fruit
- While bribes undermine the discipline her parents taught her...they work so well
- Any other small child is an instant new friend, even if the other child is afraid of the very forward Rachel
- Monkey bars are aptly named
- When travelling add on 60 minutes to accomodate for a child (they take very small steps)
- When travelling with a child you must realize they require you pack for an expedition-like excursion
- I love her
