This Bites

Ok, so apparently I don't know how to embed YouTube.com videos into my blog yet.

I blame YouTube.

In it's place, check out our nifty postcard.

Look What I Can Do!

Yippee! I can embed YouTube.com videos into my little blog!

I'm getting quite savvy.

My first entry is a parody video of my nemesis, Rachael Ray.

Here are a few reasons I dislike her:

1. Volume: Does this woman have any other volume than off or foghorn level? Seriously, she's way too loud. Her and Ty Pennington should get together and have shouting contests.

2. Intonation: I know voice probably doesn't merit two reasons, but seriously this woman sounds like a strangled goose.

3. Abbreviations: I have not made my dislike of Rachael Ray's abbreviations secret. She calls sandwiches 'sammies'. Who does that? When she says GB I want to throw garbage at her. And stoup has to be the stupidest thing I ever heard of. A stoup being "a cross between a stew and a soup". Stop it! And the most hated: EVOO. Don't know what that means? Don't worry, Rachael will fill you in, Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Tell me, Rachael, what's the point of using an abbreviation if you're going to say what the abbreviation means right afterwards?! You're ridiculous!

4. Herbs: Ok, please stop telling me to wash my herbs and put them in plastic bags when I get home from the store. Normal people don't have time for that shit.

5. 30 Minutes in Rachael Ray World = 45 Minutes In The Real World: Her meals are NOT 30 minute meals. That's a lie.

6. Dessert: Rachael readily admits that she's no baker. Yeah, thanks for the head's up. I think we understood that when we saw you make the 'melted ice cream sauce'. Seriously.

7. Recipe Titles: "You Won't Be Single For Long Vodka Cream Pasta". That's not clever. Or catchy. It's pathetic.

8. She Laughs At Her Own Jokes: Basically that. Couple that with numbers 1 and 2, and you've got an all out assault on the nation's ears.

9. Her "Talent": Can someone please tell the woman that carrying 15 items from the pantry to the cutting board is NOT a talent. It's a stupid way of tricking us to think that she's getting shit done faster.

10. Garbage Bowl: Incredibly wasteful. Also, see #3.

11. Pet Food: She teaches how to make dishes for your diabetic, overweight pets. Personally some of the stuff she makes I wouldn't serve to a dog.

12. Tag Line: Yum-O is not a tag line or a catchphrase. It's stupid. Stop putting it on t-shirts.

13. Eating Noises: Someone forwarded a video from YouTube.com of Rachael Ray making eating noises. It was 3 minutes long. I threw up in my mouth a little at 1 minute 23 seconds.

14. Oprah: Because of Oprah, now this woman has her own freaking show.

8 DAYS TO GO!

FACT #3

Jon Stewart's production company is called "Busboy Productions". It's named for Stewart's previous job as, you got it, a busboy.

It's tag sound is a glass being broken followed by "Oops, sorry."

Respondents Welcome On Vicarious Traveller!

Guess what? I finally took some time to look around my blogger and now I removed settings for comments on my blog.

So now anyone can leave a comment on my beautiful blog.

So now if I don't get comments I'll look like a big dork.

And coupled with the counter I just put on my blog I'm seriously looking desperate.

I Can Count

Kk, I put a counter on the old blog...sigh.

Enjoy!

9 DAYS TO GO!!

FACT #2

Jon Stewart can bring down cable news by calling Tucker Carlson a dick.

If you haven't seen this yet, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmj6JADOZ-8

Spelling Bee Napoleon Reciter

Through the magic of YouTube.com I accidently found a clip of the boy from South Carolina befuddling the Spelling Bee people when he quoted a Napoleon Dynamite line before spelling chinook.

Soo funny. The fam and I caught this by chance when watching the epitomy of stage moms and dads, the National Spelling Bee.

Check it out!

11 DAYS TO GO!

As some of you may or may not know, in 11 short days I will be seeing one of my heroes (along with Stephen Lewis and my mom), Jon Stewart LIVE in concert.

I hope you're all as excited as I am.

In commemeration for this amazing event I will be counting down the days with some very interesting Jon Stewart knowledge so that you're all informed when I go to see him at the Niagara Casinorama.

Fact #1

Did you know that Jon Stewart's original last name is Leibowitz? But do you know why he changed it to his middle name, Stewart (by the way, his middle name was spelt Stuart)? Contrary to popular opinion, he didn't change it because it was too Hollywood (by the way, this reason Stewart gave was in reference to a Lenny Bruce joke). The real reason Stewart changed his last name, along with his wife was because of a troubled relationship with his father, a physicist, left his mother, brother and him when he was 9 years old.

And there you go.

"On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently 3 full-time, 24-hour news networks."

~Jon Stewart

Whose More Adorable?

Little Rachel woke up in time to attack Maggie when she came home from the Muskokas after I picked her up from the bus station.

I tried to get rid of her red eyes, but I'm still getting the hang of Picasa.

Rachel kept asking what Maggie's name was...I don't think she was too sure about the new hair.

She did give me a hug, if only to say to me, "Thanks Jessie, for bringing Maggie home."

Whatever.