Harper's Speech from the Throne A.K.A. "I Am A Prime Minister King"

I am the Canadian man of the hour,

using all legal means to retain my power,
to manage the great issues of the day
like shafting civil service and equity pay,
and keeping the separatists from the front bench
(or sovereignists as I call them in French),
to deal with the threatening socialist hordes
and keep for myself all patronage rewards.

Make no mistake (and I have made none)
it's time to invest -you'll make a ton!
Some may be worried about affairs of state
Me, I'm happy to just sit and wait!

Though it's time to build trust, and to take the
high road,
I considered my chances, and chose to prorogue!

It is, it is a glorious thing,
to be a laissez faire Prime Minister King!

Larry Kazdan

My Second Favourite Ani DiFranco Song

"Napoleon" is my second favourite Ani DiFranco song, right after "Gratitude".

She played it last Friday, and it was amazing!

I heard that the person she's talking about in the song is Madonna. The story I heard is that she wrote it in response to Madonna's request that she move from her independent label, Righteous Babe Records, to her label (at the time) Maverick Records...inneresting...

Song: Napoleon
Record: Dialate, Living In Clip, So Much Shouting So Much Laughter

they told you your music
could reach millions
that the choice was up to you
you told me they always
pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder
if you miss your old friends
once you've proven what you're worth
yeah i wonder
when you're a big star
will you miss the earth

and i know you would always want more
i know you would never be done
'cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

and the next time
that i saw you
you were larger than life
you came and you conquered
you were doing alright
you had an army
of suits behind you
and all you had to be was willing
and i said i still
make a pretty good living
you must make a killing
a killing

and i hope that you are happy
i hope at least you are having fun
'cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

now you think, so that is
the way it's gonna be
that's what this is all about
i think that that is
the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
yeah now that there's a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
'bout each one that took you for a ride

and i guess that you dialed my number
'cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree
i said baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me

everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

Ani's Song for Obama

A song for Obama...kind of cheese-tastic, but still cool.

Sigh. Stephen Needs Some Help.

Cheers for Mentruation! Ani Rocks...

I saw Ani DiFranco last Friday in Hamilton. And I can say it was AMAZING!

I rekindle my love of her music, and if you don't know it already, shame on you- you're a bad feminist!

Enjoy her shout out to menstruation, and I'll be posting more videos of the concert...including the ones where you can hear the incredibly drunk girl who was sitting next to me all night and touched me inappropriately at many points of the evening...

A Survey Done By My Youngest Sister...

Sometimes I think my sister is the most hilarious person. Ever. Check out her answers to a Christmas survey...

Christmas Fun

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper!!

2. Real tree or Artificial? Absolutely REAL. I pity those children who have to grow up on decorating fake, perfect looking, no smelling trees *cough*Rachel*cough*

3. When do you put up the tree? I'm pretty sure in the next week and a half or so :0)

4. When do you take the tree down? If I had my way, never

5. Do you like eggnog? Have never had it, on account of the fact that if I did, my tongue would swell to the approximate size of my head. So I think I'll avoid that experience.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I remember I got my first discman, it was like, metallic purple and I played my Destiny's Child cd in it. I was the shit.

7. Hardest person to buy for? I would say Mom or Dad. Though as long as you make Mom happy, Dad is too, so it's really just Mom

8. Easiest person to buy for? Either of my sisters

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yep, I made on in like, grade 3 or 4 and they had these wooden figures that we coloured with makers. Yep it looks as nice as you would imagine.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Maybe email?There are actually some really cute ones you can find online

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? That's hard, I feel grateful for any gift I recieve as I know there are some people in the world who don't even get anything.......probably some jewellery from Claire's that I got in highschool

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Elf, or Christmas Vacation, or The Grinch with Jim Carey, and I also love all the old specials that they show on tv.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I actually started early this year, like, middle of November

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Any kind of cookie, and turkey, mmhhhmmm

15. Lights on the tree? Yes! But NOT those dumbass LED lights that don't even light up, they're just already coloured. I love the tiny ones that are really bright and it looks all glowy. (see what happens when you mess with my routine mom and dad? Bring back the OLD LIGHTS!)

16. Favorite Christmas song? All I want for Christmas is you, Have a Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives, and any one sung by Harry Connick Jr., Josh Groban, Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home Home Homeee!!

18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph (not gonna lie, I just sang the song to myself like, 3 times to make sure I got it right ahaha)

19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Silver glitter star!!

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?Christmas Morning, after breakfast and stockings and all that jazz

21. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The ruthless shoppers who get in my way while I'm trying to do my job. F@#$ off.

22. Favorite ornament theme or color? Mmm, I love all the ones we got at Disney World

23. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Turkey...mashed potatoes, gravy....mmmmm

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? Edward Cullen

Prop 8: The Musical

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Coalitions Are Not Coups

I need to clarify something.

This upcoming (fingers crossed) coalition government is not a coup.

It's not illegal. It's not immoral. It's not stupid.

And it's not a minority taking over.

62% of Canadians did not vote for Stephen Harper's Conservatives. He only received 38% of the vote.

Doesn't that seem shady to anyone? That someone can receive less than 40% of the vote, yet still be Prime Minister.

So when the Liberals, NDP and Bloc get together and make a plan, that's not a coup. That's the majority getting together and actually doing some work...strange concept for the House of Commons, I know.

So, when someone says that this is a coup give them a shake. Coups are horrible events. People die, torture happens, countries collapse. This is a matter of the majority of Canadian voters FINALLY getting their voices heard in Ottawa.

Strange, but true.