They Won

Well, I haven't updated in a while...but here's what I've been doing:

- 8 hours of hockey at the John Labatt Centre
- New Years at my place
- Meeting relatives
- 2 weeks of vacation (sleeping, hanging out, traveling!)
- Bought a new iPod Classic...80GB of storage...10,000 songs capacity
- Playing with my new crock pot
- Checking out Aussie flights and packages
- Thinking about the next job


Now, check out this video of the boys of Ontario enjoying their trophy. More on the hockey games later...

She's Gonna Cry

She's so gonna cry. Hard.

Hmmm...

What is she doing?

I hope she never finds this page.

The Spirit of Christmas

A Gift...With Meat

This is the gift from me to my parents.

:-P

Pearl: Revisited

Getting Into The Holiday Spirit

There was just a report on Detroit news about a holiday event that happened at the Somerset Collection in Troy, Michigan.

For those you don't know about Somerset Collection it's a high end shopping mall that attracts the snobby, elitist and consumer happy, i.e. Anne-Marie.

Sometimes members of my family will make the trek to the good ole U.S. of A. to shop until they drop, either financially or physically.

Well, it seems that an incident occurred at Anne-Marie's shopping Mecca.

Or should I say outside Anne-Marie's shopping Mecca.

It seems that swiping a parking space is no longer just an annoying event during the busiest shopping season, it can be harmful to your health.

Here's the down low: a car is waiting for a primo spot. Another car swoops in and takes it instead. A heated exchange started, insults thrown. People get out of the car. Fists are thrown.

And in stereo-typical American fashion a HANDGUN is whipped out.

Definitely on the naughty list.

Just another example of consumerism rearing its ugly head.

Merry Xmas!

Why I Hate The Dove: Real Beauty Campaign

This is getting ridiculous.

I hate the Dove campaign for real beauty.

I don't disagree that we should be embracing a shapes, sizes, colours, heights, wrinkles, etc., etc.

But the point I've been making for years about this campaign is that it still is A MARKETING CAMPAIGN.

The company, Unilever that owns Dove is probably interested in breaking down stereotypes. But I think it's important to examine intent in this case. Why is Unilever so interested in making me feel as though I'm just as beautiful as the models they used to use in their campaigns? Why has Unilever taken such an interest in making me feel valued? Are they perhaps encouraging me to feel beautiful? I guess there's nothing wrong with that.

So what does it mean to be beautiful? I feel good about myself, I gain confidence...and perhaps I'll feel good enough that I'm afraid I won't feel this forever...therefore I'll want to keep staying beautiful...there for I'll buy Dove products? Hmmm...

Now, don't get all uppity. This is what corporations do. They want to sell there products, make a profit. But for some bizarre reason this thought leaves our heads. Dove wants us to feel happy, proud and excited about ourselves. Dove cares about us. Dove wants us to know that not only are we beautiful, but they acknowledge that we're beautiful.

Ok. So what? Dove is selling products by emotionally manipulating us. That's what commercials are all about. Advertising is an integral part of our lives. Deal with it. Move on and appreciate that Unilever actually does give a shit....

What was that?

Really? No shit, are you serious, Hilary?

Well, that certainly changes things.

Thanks for the heads up Hilary.

Sorry, my friend Hilary just let me know what other products Unilever owns and markets like it's going out of style.

The product?

AXE BODY SPRAY.

Yeah, put that in your self-esteem pipe and smoke it.

If you don't know what Axe Body Spray is, allow me to enlighten you.

Axe Body Spray is Canada's leading male deodorant.

Shall we investigate how Axe is marketed?

What are your thoughts? Since Unilever is so dedicated to enhancing women's self esteem, surely their campaign would transfer to their entire line, right? It would only make sense, really.

Let me just check their website...hm. Interesting.

You will never believe this. It appears that the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty isn't so all inclusive as we are led to believe.

Let me get this straight...Axe is for men. But all I see on their website are pictures of women. How empowering! Um. Except. None of them really look like the Real Beauty women. Wonder why that is.

Let's read some of the stuff about their line...

Ok, ahem, not really what I would expect from a corporation so dedicated to raising self esteem...it seems if you wear the Vice line you can turn nice girls naughty. And if you wear Kilo girls in bikinis will come and you can "...teach them how to rub things together to start a fire." Well, I guess if you're into survival camping that would be use- oh, I get it. Not very empowering there.

Let's keep looking, shall we?

"Axe Effect...internationally recognized name for increased attention Axe wearing males receive from eager and attractive female pursuers".

Eager and attractive? Wow.

And you know what...there's even a box where you can report a "Naughty Girl".

Ok, who makes this shit up?

I get that perhaps this was a failed attempt to make fun of the mating process. But since Axe is #1 in Canada there is cause for concern.

So allow me to enlighten you.

A. Women do not pull off clothing because men smell good.

B. You are living in a dream world if you believe that your armpit stick will induce lust filled antics

C. If you use Axe, you're an asshole.


So, Axe Body Spray and Dove Real Beauty. Kind of doesn't make sense. Even if the Axe marketing is just for fun, doesn't poking fun at women's inability to respect themselves because of shitty shower gel some loser uses because he thinks it will get him commitment free relationships counter act what they're doing?

I mean, the Real Beauty campaign isn't just a commercial. They have actual programs and talk to actual girls.

How does that go?

Girls, feel good in your own skin. You are beautiful. The media has an unattainable image when it comes to the perfect body.

Now boys. Here's your Axe. Spray on, stand back and wait for the onslaught of attractive and eager girls. And don't worry, they will definitely look like the women you drool over in Maxim magazine.

If none of this has stopped you from buying Dove, then maybe Unilever's track record on abusing animals and child labour will.

No? Then you may be interested that Unilever is encouraging women to feel good about their size and shape, but not so much the colour of their skin. In fact if you want to they can sell you a cream that will lighten your skin. It's called "Fair and Lovely".

And if you use it along with other Dove products, well then there are no bounds to your real beauty.

My Tacky Tree

Check. It. Out.

My tree, so so lovely.

The tinsel really adds the finishing touch.

Weekend Paper Reading Is About To Get Scary

Yes, you may have heard today that media tycoon and arrogant asshole, Rupert Murdoch purchased the The Wall Street Journal.

Great.

Now we know what this means. The right wing owner of Fox "News" now owns one of the most influential financial tomes in the land.

I wouldn't be surprised if all of a sudden the $1 million debt the US is accumulating every minute
is characterized as some sort of economic fake out.

My New Job!

I'm teaching at Fanshawe College starting next month!

Very exciting- I will be teaching two sections of Community Development in the Social Services Worker program (the one I graduated from!).

I am PUMPED!





*Sidenote: the above illustration is just a joke, I in no way encourage the acceptance of money in exchange for good grades. But I will tell people if their work blows.

**Just kidding.

Apartment Smell of the Day

Dog food.

HE'S GUILTY.

Robert Pickton was just found guilty on all charges.

6 women were represented during this trial.

He was only convicted of 2nd degree murder, but the point the man is G-U-I-L-T-Y.

He can suck it.

Jack ass.

Remembering Ecole Polytechnique and All Women Who Experience Of Gender Based Violence

Pros And Cons of Snow Fall and Apartment Living

Pro:

I don't have to shovel.

Con:

I don't have the authority to tell people to shovel, and how to shovel correctly. Thanks for the ridiculous attention to shoveling, Dad.



Pro:

I don't have to shovel.

Con:

The snow plow person chooses to plow at 11:30pm. I am transitioning to old life. I am in REM sleep usually by 10:37pm.

Pro:

I can openly laugh at people who have to shovel.

Con:

The snow plow sounds as if it's churning metal. Did I mention it's out there at 11:30pm?

Pro:

There's no dread in the morning about having to shovel to get out of the driveway. It's somebody else's problem. It's just a beautiful winter wonderland to me.

Con:

That metal churning noise? Yeah, kind of freaked me out the first time I heard it.

Pro:

No shoveling.

Con:

I don't have winter boots (kind of applies).

Pro:

Snow plow goes fast.

Con:

Snow plow goes too frigging fast near my car. Gives me the heart flutters as I watch it whiz by.

All in all, I think it evens out.

My Snowy Luck

How fair is this?

I come back to my folks place last night so Annie doesn't have to hang out here alone and Dec. 1st is the day the snow starts to fall.

The one good thing about not living in a house is that I don't have to shovel.

And now the first significant snow fall has me outside getting the shovel out.

Damn.

Radio DJs

The past couple of days I've been forced to listen to the descent of morning radio.

Firstly, what is with cars who don't have CD players?

This would have been avoided if I had access to a CD player.

Instead I had to listen to a plethora of radio DJs. I can only assume that they reach out to the most base audience.

Yes, you know this group of people.

They are the socially unaware (in the most irritating of fashion). These are the folks who don't vote, but feel the need to complain. These are the people who can't see the connection between lower their taxes and the lower of standards in hospital wait times. These are the idiots that run red lights. The morons who do mall walks with strollers, and hit the backs of your heels. The people who think that women who want power tools are some strange kind of breed of freak ("You're a woman, get your husband to hang that picture!"). The men think that the worst insult is to be called either: girly, sissy or feminine in some way. Thus they attempt to show their heterosexuality to the nth degree. These are the people who think that calling something "gay" is an insult.

I like to think that these people are in the minority. But since this minority is more vocal these DJs think they must emulate them.

This must stop. Immediately.

I cannot take one more reference to a "chick flick" or a female DJ talking about every single woman's desire for a giant diamond on her left hand.

I will not be held accountable for my road rage.

I have to take this care to Niagara Falls in one week- I can't stand to listen to this shit for that long.

And my passenger doesn't like CBC.

I can literally feel the brain cells evaporating.

He's Such A Din-Wid

Yes, I know a cheap shot.

But his name is Dinwiddie. How sucky is that?

In case you don't know this is the rookie who was the Winnipeg Blue Bombers quarterback during this past Grey Cup.

Whatever, I don't dig organized sports.

But I do dig this guy's eyes. They are freaking amazing.

They are this bizarre ice blue.

I don't know why he doesn't just take off his helmet and captivate his opponents on the football field with his gaze.

That probably would have won him the Cup, or at least stopped Johnson from catching 3 interceptions.

Ok, enough football speak. I'm good for the year.

P.S.

What's a Rough Rider? And is it a cowboy reference? Because I thought all the cowboys were in Alberta, not Saskatchewan. And does this have anything to do with the unofficial motto of Regina..."the city that rhymes with fun"? Just a thought.

Global Oh for Peace 2007: The Second Annual Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace

WORLDWIDE - November 25 - In 2006, the first Global Orgasm for Peace focused on the escalation of tensions between the Govern-Men of the USA and Iran. One year later, some of those in power still want to declare war and Americans are waiting to be given another manufactured excuse to support it. So we are preparing to launch the Second Annual Synchronized GlobalOrgasm for Peace.

WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone you know.

WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction and places where violence is used in place of mediation.

WHEN? This year we are synchronizing on the actual moment of the Solstice (Winter in the northern hemisphere, Summer in the south) for maximum concentrated effect: Solstice Day - Saturday, December 22nd at 06:08 Universal Coordinated Time (GMT), which is 09:08 Baghdad time; 09:38 Tehran time; 01:08 Washington, DC time; 17:08 Sydney time; 14:08 Hong Kong time; 11:38, New Delhi time; 09:08 Moscow time; Friday, December 21st, at 22:08 San Francisco time.

WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy.

The Science

The Global Consciousness Project (http://noosphere.princeton.edu) in Princeton, NJ, runs a network of Random Event Generators around the world, which record changes in their randomness during global events. The results show that human consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during widely-watched events such as the collapse of the World Trade Center towers, large antiwar protests, natural catastrophes, acts of war and mass meditations. Concentrated consciousness has measurable effects.

Our minds influence Matter and Quantum Energy fields , so by concentrating our thoughts during and after The Big O on peace and partnership, the combination of high orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention for peace could reduce global levels of violence, hatred and fear.

The world is full of men with axes to grind and weapons to fire in displays of their superiority over others. It is time to spare the planet from Alpha Male concepts of 'progress', 'growth' and Manifest Destiny, which are endangering all of us. True partnership between the Masculine and Feminine that is within all women and men may enable our species to survive in relative harmony. The GlobalOrgasm for Peace is one attempt to begin that process.

See www.GlobalOrgasm.org

This Week's Apartment Smell.

Pot.