Vicarious Traveller

Thursday, January 25, 2007

What The Heck?

Ok, I'm flipping through the channels and I see my friend Oprah.

Normally I wouldn't stop, but today she's interviewing a Muslim woman. Interesting enough.

This woman is talking about her faith and the similarities to Christianity.

Then Oprah asks,

"Do Muslims believe in God?"

WTF? Are you kidding? Do you believe in God???

What the heck?

Argh.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I GOT THE JOB!

W00T!

So the big news is I got a full time grown up job!

Yes!

Starting February 5th I will be the Project Coordinator of the RISE (Reducing Incidents fo Sexual Exploitation) for Youth, the same project I helped create last year when I was a student at WAYS.

My job will include lots of public education surrounding young people in the sex trade (what people mistakingly call "youth prostitution"). And I'll be travelling all over Western Ontario!

As well, I'll be heading up the team creating new posters (the one on the left was what we created last year) and a video game.

Besides that, I get my own office, and I'm in the process of picking out a new laptop.

Best of all, this means (drum roll please) I'm moving out! I love my parents, but trust me, it's time.

Yea!

Monday, January 22, 2007

News!

Big, Big, BIG news!

Come back here for updates or visit:

http://www.mindyourmind.ca/mind-tools/play-stuff/sfs-quiz.htm

For a clue!

Run, Don't Walk.

Ok, so during my hiatus from blogging my fabulous parents gave my sisters and I an equally fabulous gift.

Dinner at Jump, a night at the Intercontinental in T.O. and...TICKETS TO SEE WICKED.

HOLY CRAP.

Now, I'm a fan of musical theatre, I don't find it odd or bizarre when people start bursting out into song, there's something reassuring about it. No matter what's going to happen, you know that someone is going to start singing a catchy tune in a minute or two.

Sigh. It was fantastic.

For those of you who aren't in the know about musical theatre Wicked is a fabulous musical that originally starred Kristen Chenoweth (of You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown) and Idina Menzel.

Menzel won the Tony for her performance as the Wicked Witch of the West in Wicked, and she's married to Taye Diggs. Sweet deal.

Anywho, Wicked is freaking amazing. It tells the story of the Witches of Oz. Let's just say that the age old stereotype of the ugly witch being the mean witch is broken. Beautiful!

So, if Wicked makes an appearance in your town, which it will. It's immense popularity means it will start touring North America a la Rent. Run and get tickets.

We were in second row (which I don't recommend for young children or people afraid of flying monkeys, like my mother), and it was FANTABULOUS.

Great music, very funny and an awesome message.

P.S. If you liked Rent you'll recognize Elphaba's voice, it's Maureen.

Back To Work!

Alright, so after some nice time off at home I, as well as Tracy, are back to our regularly scheduled lives.

Happily, Tracy was in London last week and had an angioplasty. It went well, the surgery, that is.

If you don't know this woman and are ever in charge of making sure she stays put long enough to recover, here are some tips:

1. Keep Her Hydrated: This is a helpful tip whenever anyone is in recovery, however, be warned of frequent trips to the bathroom.

2. Sugar Levels: I learned last week that your optimum sugar level should be at a 7. Let's just say she was working her way towards that figure.

3. Bruises: I don't know what it was with this woman, but she likes to show me her bruises. That was a little much. So if you're helping her out, please be warned that she might gross you out.

4. Keep Her Down: This woman has an uncontrollable urge to get up and try and help out. This is annoying. Keep her down. I did this by lacing her tea with a sedative.

5. When She Starts Getting Loud Take This As A Sign: Alright, when she starts talking loudly, making me uncomfortable, bringing up my career aspirations from my childhood I know that she's doing better.

Feel better!!! And stay off your feet!!!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Reasons I Love My Grandma

There are few people in the world that are like my grandma. In fact, I would dare to say that she is an original.

Here are some of the reasons that my grandma is like no other.

1. Two words: Class Act.

2. Extremely Clean: This could make some feel weird, but in her house it is very welcoming.

3. Great Memory: She doesn't forget anything. Anything.

4. Great Estimator: If you ever dare to watch "The Price Is Right" with my Grandma, be warned- she'll kick your butt.

5. Yummy Food: If you ever get to have food at my Grandma's house I strongly suggest trying the Frozen Raspberry Pie. And if you ever see her baking a Carrot Cake BACK OFF. It belongs to me (it really is amazing, it has pineapple in it).

6. Her smell: She smells good. Like peppermints and perfume. And a bit of cigarette smoke. And since smell is one of the most memorable things a person can have, it's very important.

7. Mental Stability: She has five kids, and trust me they could test the sanity of anyone. But somehow she is has kept it together. And for people who know her oldest three, she should be given a medal.

8. World Traveller: Alright, despite her admission that she likes to stay close to home, my Grandma has been everywhere. She's seen a lot.

9. Risk Taker: Many reasons to be a risk taker. She's travelled to Australia (very cool), held a koala (and those things can be as vicious as they are stupid). Also, see #7.

10. Zen Like Quality: She's married to a serial wanderer yet she always knows where my Papa is...It's like she has Grandma GPS.

11. She's Quick: Tonight my dear Grandmother tricked me. Told me she was going to Chicago, did I want to go? Yea! Totally! Why are you going Grandma?..."I've got tickets for Oprah."

12. She Can Be Evil: See #11.

All in all, she's cool.

And now she knows that when she crosses me, I will blog about her.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Shoveling The Day After Maggie Leaves

Ok, so everyone knows that here in London we had a green Christmas.

I didn't mind so much (Annie's complaining could be heard in Oxford County) because this meant no shoveling.

And when I was driving Maggie to the airport in the rain she commented on how funny it would be if it snowed enough the next day to have to shovel it from the driveway.

Wouldn't that be funny? Because she and Annie hadn't done any shoveling at all during their stay.

Well, the next day wouldn't you know I was out there shoveling. And cursing my sisters.

So thanks Mags, I appreciate your "help".

The one thought that consoles me is the knowledge that had the both of them been at home during any snow fall we ALL know that neither one of them would have picked up a shovel.

P.S. This is my 101st post on my blog! W00T!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Why I Dislike Oprah, Pt. 2

Ok, so I know I make enemies with my statements about Oprah, but seriously this woman is irritating me.

I can appreciate that she wants to unload her ridiculous amount of cash. Very admirable, since no one, and I mean no one, can ever deserve to make $1.5 billion dollars.

I can even appreciate that she sees a need in South Africa, you'd have to be blind and an idiot not to.

However, Oprah's gift tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Why is that? She's given $40 million dollars to create this school for girls, undeniably the most vulnerable population in Africa. To create true equality and to end the evergrowing AIDS epidemic gender inequality is the issue that holds this goal back.

Yet still, Oprah's "gift" makes me want to wash myself everytime I hear about it.

So let's break it down, shall we?

1. Selection Process: Let's start with the way Oprah chose the young girls who are going to her school. She picked the best and the brightest, the ones who were able to perform. The young girls who were living in the worst poverty, with the most violence or with the least bit of advantage were not chosen. Oprah (and presumably her team of experts) got to choose the smartest girls (with probably the best stories) to do what? Should I even type it? To make the best episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show". This playing God with these girls lives is a bit distasteful.

2. Re-colonization: Alright, this is an annoying item that seems to be happening on a daily basis in Africa now. One of the biggest problems with African state independence was that the countries that had so brutally colonized them in the past picked up and ran (not walked) back to Europe. They left Africa as a collection of countries who hadn't governed themselves in centuries. As a result, leaders like Amin, Mugabe and Kadaffi emerged. Now, the logical response would be that Africa has to learn how to govern themselves (with a hand up, not a hand out from the countries that destroyed their infrastructure). However, in today's messed up world of "saving" poor little Africans we seem to see to be re-colonizing them. African countries need to be providing health care, education and housing to their own. How do we do that? Well, it's not with rich Westerners coming in like a knight on a horse and telling poor Africans what they need. This drives me crazy. Having people with money do what they want in countries that are experiencing such severe poverty that they have lost their voice does not empower them. I don't disagree that these students should be going to school, but I do disagree with how people (namely, Oprah) go about doing this.

3. What about American high schools, Oprah?: Alright, so Oprah was recently asked why not give cash (in addition to) to schools in America. Her answer? Students are more interested in owning sneakers and iPods than getting a quality education. Um. Ok. Right, superficial desires cloud the minds of your nation's youth. Absolutely. They have unrealistic expectations of what they need, what they deserve, what is necessary. There is an increasing sense of entitlement and selfish- Oh, wait, hey Oprah, when's your "Favourite Things" episode airing again? What's that? Next Fall? Ok. Where was I? Right, selfishness and arrogance- wait a second, hey Oprah, when are you going to give away "free" cars to needy people in an attempt to turn your entire show into a commerical for GM again? Uh huh, ok. Where was I again? Oh yes! How dare the youth of America feel like they deserve extravagant luxury, where would they get an idea like that? Ridiculous.

4. The Oprah Winfrey Academy: Ok, she named the freaking school after herself. I understand that $40 million is a lot of money, but how does this empower the community? How does this allow the community to take responsibility of the school? What's that Oprah? Better ratings, you say?

5. Are the makeovers necessary?: Alright, I can appreciate the dorms, the indoor plumbing, the gym and labs. But what's the connection between all of this and including a beauty parlour in your school? What the hell?

6. A star studded premiere: Why was Mariah Carey at the opening? To inject her dosage of crazy into the school? To scare the children? Please someone explain to me, without fawning over Winfrey like she's the second coming.

7. Oprah Fear: Oprah fear is running rampant. Apparently if you give away a small portion of your fortune (that you will surely make back with all the advertising and the funds you make from selling your soul) and mention at any available point that Maya Angelou is your close friend no one will look at you objectively. What the hell is this about? If you're going to have over 1 billion dollars you're going to have to be a bit responsible with how you spend that money.

I feel better now.

She's Frickin' Hilarious

Ok, so I know that Annie is going to hitch hike back to London to give me the beats for posting this darling photo, but she hassled me so much about no updates, she deserves this.

"My legs are so hairy they don't feel hairy anymore."

~Annie Rodger

The Miracle of Hanukkah According to My Littlest Sister

Alright, so you all know that Annie is one of the smartest and funniest women around. But, did you also know that Annie is a Jewish scholar? Me neither.

Which was why I was so surprised to hear that she understood the story of Hannukkah.

According to the Hasidic expert herself, Hannukkah is the celebration of when the Angel Gabriel came down from Heaven (yes, Heaven) to tell the Jews that Mary was pregnant with Jesus.

Yeah. I thought the same thing.

But we'll ignore that thought and remember that she's Annie. And we love her. Even when she tries to re-writes two millennias of history.

They Came, They Bellowed, They Left

Oh, my little sisters came home for the holidays and it was a treat!

Annie moved all her contents of her dorm room home, including her feather duvet.

Maggie brought home her huge duffel bag with wheels including her abused laptop. Everytime she threw it on the couch I think our Dad died a little on the inside.

Apart from that Maggie did get to take over the office and turned it into her bedroom. I think the only thing stopping our Dad from throwing her out fo the office was the fact that had he fixed the hole in the drywall down in the dungeon he would have been rid of her.

We had a great couple of weeks, and we got to keep them both for a few days more.

It was great! Except for the fact that Maggie was doubled over the toilet and Annie had to stay behind because she couldn't take a deep breath without using her inhaler.

But it was great for me.