She's Trying To Redeem Herself

Yes, Oprah "The Saint" Winfrey is speaking out on behalf of Holocaust Education.

Anyone speaking out about this topic is important...let's just hope that Holocaust Education doesn't become the next celebrity fad in "What To Endorse For My Own Purposes Weekly".

We all remember what happened after Live 8...African debt miraculously cleared! Right? I only expect that this happened because no more celebrity are touting debt relief. That must mean that they were successful.

Right?

Reasons Why I Dislike Oprah

1. The Interrupter: Has anyone noticed that when Oprah asks a question, she answers it? See her interview herself in the presence of movie stars...

2. Mama Oprah: Oprah as the Second Coming in Africa is another thing that ticks me off. I can appreciate her donating her millions (very responsible), however I somehow get a sleazy feeling when she uses her show as a platform to demonstrate her generosity. There is the argument that she is doing this to show off a cause, or model responsible billionaire behaviour, but I somehow feel as though her attempts are insulting to my intelligence. How is it that children in rural Angola know who Oprah is? Why is it they run towards her? And if they don't run towards her and cry in her arms, why do we feel as though they are being ungrateful? Something about her aid work leaves me feel as though she wants to be sainted...

3. The Homophobe: In an attempt to appeal to the demeanour of middle America and the ever important soccer mom contigent Oprah explains away homosexuality in a manner that makes everyone love her (except those with brains). So she can say it's nature for those who are know homosexuality is something you are born as, and that it's part CHOICE, for those who are homo-prejudice. Does she really subscribe to this? I have no idea, but the mere fact that she believes that homosexuality is a duality of nature and nuture leaves me to believe that her desire to be loved by all has completely consumed her.

4. Rachael Ray: Why? Why? Why does this woman now have her own show? Why couldn't Oprah leave well enough alone. Yes, she does have a few good ideas, but let's not go over board. Look for a future post about why I dislike her.

5. The Superior Friendship: I can appreciate that Oprah has a long last friendship with Gail King, that's great, fabulous, everyone needs a BFF. But I resent the implication that Oprah and Gail's friendship is superior to any other relationship. It's incredibly irritating when I have to hear about how no one can ever have as close a relationship as she and Gail...believe it or not there are other women who are close with their friends. I refuse to worship your ability to be a best friend.

6. The Hour Long Commercial: I know that a talk show is a medium for people to promote their projects to earn money. Sometimes these projects are themselves (which is the only reason there is to explain why the Hilton sisters were on her show). But I draw the line at the "Favourite Things" episodes she has. Not only does she have an entire show that is one big commerical for useless gadgets, the materialism is so palpable that every time she does one of these shows you can hear viewers at home salivate over chocolate covered cookies and cashmere slippers.

7. The Oprah Audience: I hate them. I blame her. I heard one audience member say that going to the Oprah show is a religious experience. I don't know how to react to that. As well, they seem to be on some sort of upper when they're in the audience. The jump, scream, turn around and act like complete morons. It's ridiculous, and whenever I see these audience members I have the distinct desire to slap them silly and tell them to calm down.

8. Dr. Phil: Thank you, Oprah for inflicting this bully on the rest of the world. It's nice to know that we can be humiliated by the good Doctor with only a small email to his show. I appreciate his mask of "therapy in your hometown" at the end of every segment. Those bills must be getting extreme, eh? I appreciate getting dieting advice from a man who doesn't exactly follow them himself, very motivating.

9. Nobel Prize Accessory: Has anyone else notice Oprah's constant appearance at the Nobel Prize Ceremony? WTF? Why is it that every winner is given the trophy, the money and a photo op with Oprah? That's crap. Her hanging-on is annoying, especially with those who do actual good work. Wangari Maathai looked like she wanted to club the woman.

10. Cover Girl: Guess whose on the cover of the O Magazine this month? Last month? Next month? Yeah, Oprah. We get it, you have a magazine. Fantastic, please let's move on.

11. Presidential Candidate: If Oprah ever actually runs for president and wins, I will go insane. What's with the belief that she is the freakin' next best thing to JFK? COME ON. She knows how to get people to like her. That's her major talent. That's all, no political science, no economics...she'd be taking Kim Jong Il to the day spa for treatments while negotiating Middle East peace by her latest book club selection ("Edward Said is a god!!"). Meanwhile she'd send every household in America brand new towels because they: "Make you feel like a brand new woman!".

12. Angel Street: A few months ago I caught the tail end of an episode of Oprah when she built a street in Houston for Katrina Hurricane survivors. Now I can appreciate that she's helping out folks who have lost everything because of a few dumbasses in their nations' capital, but again, I got a creepy feeling from watching the show. Again the subtext of: Oprah is a saint, rather than these people are resiliant and strong was the message I was getting. Sigh.

Alright, maybe some of my reasons to dislike this woman are ridiculous, but these are my reasons. But the bottom line is, Oprah has a ton of cash and she didn't make it being a beautiful soul. The reason we watched her in the eighties and early nineties was because she was the queen of daytime sleeze. Now, with her newfound inner peace at a very calculated time, I dry heave.