Heather Mallick's Interpretation of Sean Avery's "Sloppy Seconds" Description of his Ex

CAUTION: This post contains sexual references :-0

Alright, I was just reading Heather Mallick's recent piece on CBC about the whole Sean "Douchebag" Avery's disgusting remarks about his ex-girlfriend (and former Popular Mechanics for Kids host!) Elisha Cuthbert as "sloppy seconds".

I laughed out loud, because it seems as though Heather misinterpreted the meaning of "sloppy seconds".

Here's an excerpt:

Seconds on radio

I only mention this because I was on a CBC radio program last week called The Point, in which I and several men discussed, well, the point. Was hockey player Sean Avery punished excessively by the NHL for publicly referring to his ex-girlfriend as "sloppy seconds?"

I was warmed by the unity of the group. We agreed it was hypocritical in the NHL world, which is misogynist by nature, to ban Avery for six games. I even defended Avery, saying I didn't think his remark was extreme, especially compared to what this hopeless thug regularly says to players and female fans. The guy was just hurt, I said.

Done and dusted.

Flash forward to that evening. I read a kind message on my CBC e-mail from a woman listener who agrees with me about the Supreme Court's EI decision. Er, just between you and me, she wrote, you do realize that Avery's phrase refers to "a woman's vaginal opening being enlarged by having multiple sexual partners."

Huh?

I stormed (I really did) into the living room where my husband was sitting. "Stephen," I said. "Does 'sloppy seconds' mean 'a woman's vaginal opening being enlarged by having multiple sexual partners'?"

"No, I believe it refers to having sex with someone when there's semen in the vagina that is previous, so to speak…"

"Oh is it," I said. "And you let me tell a national radio audience that it was kind of sweet to refer to your ex that way?"

"What did you think it meant?"

"I THOUGHT IT MEANT CHRISTMAS DINNER LEFTOVERS! I THOUGHT IT MEANT TURKEY, MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY THE NEXT DAY! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT MEANT SEX PUDDLES?"

"But when you told me that you thought the Avery thing was a big overreaction, I just assumed you were being very liberated. As you usually are."

Here's a link to the whole article:

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/12/12/f-vp-mallick.html