Engineering Quote...

Sheldon: Engineering—where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa-Loompas of science.

~ The Big Bang Theory

Harper's Speech from the Throne A.K.A. "I Am A Prime Minister King"

I am the Canadian man of the hour,

using all legal means to retain my power,
to manage the great issues of the day
like shafting civil service and equity pay,
and keeping the separatists from the front bench
(or sovereignists as I call them in French),
to deal with the threatening socialist hordes
and keep for myself all patronage rewards.

Make no mistake (and I have made none)
it's time to invest -you'll make a ton!
Some may be worried about affairs of state
Me, I'm happy to just sit and wait!

Though it's time to build trust, and to take the
high road,
I considered my chances, and chose to prorogue!

It is, it is a glorious thing,
to be a laissez faire Prime Minister King!

Larry Kazdan

My Second Favourite Ani DiFranco Song

"Napoleon" is my second favourite Ani DiFranco song, right after "Gratitude".

She played it last Friday, and it was amazing!

I heard that the person she's talking about in the song is Madonna. The story I heard is that she wrote it in response to Madonna's request that she move from her independent label, Righteous Babe Records, to her label (at the time) Maverick Records...inneresting...

Song: Napoleon
Record: Dialate, Living In Clip, So Much Shouting So Much Laughter

they told you your music
could reach millions
that the choice was up to you
you told me they always
pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder
if you miss your old friends
once you've proven what you're worth
yeah i wonder
when you're a big star
will you miss the earth

and i know you would always want more
i know you would never be done
'cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

and the next time
that i saw you
you were larger than life
you came and you conquered
you were doing alright
you had an army
of suits behind you
and all you had to be was willing
and i said i still
make a pretty good living
you must make a killing
a killing

and i hope that you are happy
i hope at least you are having fun
'cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

now you think, so that is
the way it's gonna be
that's what this is all about
i think that that is
the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
yeah now that there's a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
'bout each one that took you for a ride

and i guess that you dialed my number
'cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree
i said baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me

everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

Ani's Song for Obama

A song for Obama...kind of cheese-tastic, but still cool.

Sigh. Stephen Needs Some Help.

Cheers for Mentruation! Ani Rocks...

I saw Ani DiFranco last Friday in Hamilton. And I can say it was AMAZING!

I rekindle my love of her music, and if you don't know it already, shame on you- you're a bad feminist!

Enjoy her shout out to menstruation, and I'll be posting more videos of the concert...including the ones where you can hear the incredibly drunk girl who was sitting next to me all night and touched me inappropriately at many points of the evening...

A Survey Done By My Youngest Sister...

Sometimes I think my sister is the most hilarious person. Ever. Check out her answers to a Christmas survey...

Christmas Fun

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper!!

2. Real tree or Artificial? Absolutely REAL. I pity those children who have to grow up on decorating fake, perfect looking, no smelling trees *cough*Rachel*cough*

3. When do you put up the tree? I'm pretty sure in the next week and a half or so :0)

4. When do you take the tree down? If I had my way, never

5. Do you like eggnog? Have never had it, on account of the fact that if I did, my tongue would swell to the approximate size of my head. So I think I'll avoid that experience.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I remember I got my first discman, it was like, metallic purple and I played my Destiny's Child cd in it. I was the shit.

7. Hardest person to buy for? I would say Mom or Dad. Though as long as you make Mom happy, Dad is too, so it's really just Mom

8. Easiest person to buy for? Either of my sisters

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yep, I made on in like, grade 3 or 4 and they had these wooden figures that we coloured with makers. Yep it looks as nice as you would imagine.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Maybe email?There are actually some really cute ones you can find online

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? That's hard, I feel grateful for any gift I recieve as I know there are some people in the world who don't even get anything.......probably some jewellery from Claire's that I got in highschool

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Elf, or Christmas Vacation, or The Grinch with Jim Carey, and I also love all the old specials that they show on tv.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I actually started early this year, like, middle of November

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Any kind of cookie, and turkey, mmhhhmmm

15. Lights on the tree? Yes! But NOT those dumbass LED lights that don't even light up, they're just already coloured. I love the tiny ones that are really bright and it looks all glowy. (see what happens when you mess with my routine mom and dad? Bring back the OLD LIGHTS!)

16. Favorite Christmas song? All I want for Christmas is you, Have a Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives, and any one sung by Harry Connick Jr., Josh Groban, Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home Home Homeee!!

18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph (not gonna lie, I just sang the song to myself like, 3 times to make sure I got it right ahaha)

19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Silver glitter star!!

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?Christmas Morning, after breakfast and stockings and all that jazz

21. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The ruthless shoppers who get in my way while I'm trying to do my job. F@#$ off.

22. Favorite ornament theme or color? Mmm, I love all the ones we got at Disney World

23. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Turkey...mashed potatoes, gravy....mmmmm

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? Edward Cullen

Prop 8: The Musical

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Coalitions Are Not Coups

I need to clarify something.

This upcoming (fingers crossed) coalition government is not a coup.

It's not illegal. It's not immoral. It's not stupid.

And it's not a minority taking over.

62% of Canadians did not vote for Stephen Harper's Conservatives. He only received 38% of the vote.

Doesn't that seem shady to anyone? That someone can receive less than 40% of the vote, yet still be Prime Minister.

So when the Liberals, NDP and Bloc get together and make a plan, that's not a coup. That's the majority getting together and actually doing some work...strange concept for the House of Commons, I know.

So, when someone says that this is a coup give them a shake. Coups are horrible events. People die, torture happens, countries collapse. This is a matter of the majority of Canadian voters FINALLY getting their voices heard in Ottawa.

Strange, but true.

Yet Another Reason London City Council Is The Equivalent of a Grade 3 Classroom

'A head of lettuce, a pumpkin or that chicken that you ate last night, it collapses unto itself, it decays, it doesn't take up that much space at the landfill.'



~ Ward 10 Councillor Paul Van Meerbergen explaining his reasons for opposing the Green Bin program on Steve (Dr. Love) Garrison's London-in-the-Morning Show on Newstalk 1290-CJBK-AM, Nov. 17, 2008.

Perezzies...What You Vote for When There's A Foot of Snow Outside

Hottest Hookup	Biggest Breakup
Scarlett Johannson a...	Madonna and Guy Ritc...
Favorite Jonas	Breakout Star of the Year
Nick	Lady Gaga
Baddest Bad Girl	Biggest Scandal
Miley Cyrus	Amy Winehouse's Life...
Best Dressed	Worst Dressed
Anne Hathaway	Mischa Barton
Hottest Hottie	Cutest Celebuspawn
Robert Pattinson	Violet Affleck
Most Improved	Worst Trainwreck
Perez Hilton	Lily Allen
Most DVR-worthy Series	Biggest Box Office Blowout
The Office	The Dark Knight
Celeb of the Year
Barack Obama

Who would you vote for?
Go to PerezHilton.com to vote!

Ew!

Today's a bad day- but this video made me smile, then caught me by surprise.

Enjoy.

Question for CNN

When did Will.i.am. become a political commentator?

All of a sudden I'm seeing my favourite Black Eyed Pea talking about China, Obama, and all things political.

Apart from the 2003 hit "Where Is The Love?", I'm pretty sure he doesn't have actual credentials.

But perhaps Will.i.am is now the hip-hop equivalent of Bono.

I guess it could be worse, but I will remind people of my reluctance to embrace celebrity endorsement of anything that is not fashion, perfume or actual art.

I Blame the Parents

As I sit in my parents' house while they are away in Washington, DC I find my attention shifting to their immense cable TV package.

I don't have the ever trite channel "TLC" (which doesn't stand for "Tender Lovin' Care", although I think it should) but for me it's like crack. I love it. I can't stop from flicking over to it every few hours and see what's on.

I find that most of their shows are based on crushing souls. Sometimes it's crushing people's spirits by telling them that they look like shit (What Not To Wear, Ten Years Younger, Big Medicine, Makeover Train, Must Love Kids), or by making you feel bad that you don't cook organically for your family and you only have TWO kids (Jon and Kate Plus Eight), or by crushing the dreams of first time home owners (Property Ladder, Date My House, Flip That House). And of course, my new favourite crazy train, 17 Kids and Counting with the ever-Quiverfull Duggar family.

Since my new obsession is the Duggar family in all of their conservative Baptist craziness, imagine my surprise (and bizarre delight) when back to back episodes aired this evening.

Where do I begin?

There are so many things that make me shake my head at this family.

Let's start with this evening's episode. This evening's show had the Duggars hosting the Bates family from Tennessee, another Quiverfull family, they have 16 kids.

Side note: the Bates found out that number 17 is on it's way via a stop at a gas station.

Apparently this is the Duggars attempt to normalize their huge family (See America! We're not out of our minds! There's another family that's just like us!). Seriously, the families are so alike I can't even tell the moms apart.

Eventually the convo turned to the ever quaint term of "courtship". No dating for the Duggars or the Bates. If you get chosen (or betroved or matched or forced) to be courted, there's no way out. You are getting married. Oh, and the courtship? No contact. Except hand holding. That's it. And to ensure this, every time you go out we're sending one of your siblings to chaparone you. WTF? Chaperone? Bascially the message is, we've sheltered you all your life, kept you away from TV, the Internet and well, we think if you two are alone, well, you'll succumb to your horny temptations. My question would be, since they've been so sheltered, would they even know what to do?

Anyway, during this episode it was a touch obvious that a Duggar/Bates matchmaking effort would not be distasteful for either side.

And I did find out about the clothing situation. Apparently the long skirt/high neck lines are pleasing to God. But I think it's interesting to see that the girls' clothing are obviously hand made, while the boys wear something akin to J. Crew. So, bascially we're enjoying re-enforcing those gender stereotypes in a variety of different ways.

Side note: when the Duggars/Bates went to a Christian theme park the Bates kids were wearing the same outfits as the "pilgrims". You couldn't tell them apart.

And finally (for now) what I find MOST ridiculous about both families is their espousing that there is no TV, no music (even contemporary Christian music is a no-no), no Internet, and no friends who don't share same values.

But do you know what both families do think is an appropriate family activity?

PAINT BALL.

Yes, dressing up in layers (because when the kids are done they are covered in painful bruises), picking up a gun filled with paint pellets and using kids as young as 4 as target practice.

Yeah, nice wholesome family fun.

Am I the only one to see the ridiculous-ness of this? I don't know what to say.

And as the Facebook group I just joined says, "It's A Vagina, Not A Clown Car".

The View

We're Gonna Miss Ya, Kinda

Things we'll miss about you, Gov. Palin...

Folksy mannerisms
Your pronunciations (lack of) your Rs
Your "experience"
Your unnerving mis-education about the Bush Doctrine
Your laws that require rape victims to purchase their own rape kits
Your fucking insane stance on the abortion issue
Your weird winking
Your spending
Tina Fey
Your aversion to pronouncing the letter "g" at the end of words
How you have forever changed what a "Maverick" is
Your destruction of McCain's reputation
Your wardrobe
Your ethics, or lack there of
You mentioning "Main Street" every g-d second
The way you combine people's first name, "the" and their profession (classic!)
The way you bash community organizers (F U)
Your subtle evocations of the ever thoughtful chant of "Drill Baby, Drill"
Pageant jokes
Trying to pass off a part time job as mayor to a town of 9,000 as true experience
Teen pregnancies
Your sentences to Nowhere
Helicopter hunting for the continental US
You're roguish ways
Any interviews you have ever done
Seeing you meet the real Nicholas Sarkozy for the first time
Forced teen marriage
You trying to make the beluga extinct
You checking on Russia every morning from your kitchen window

But most of all I will miss...um...hang on...um...oh yeah.

Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

Don't let the door hit you on your ass on the way back to Alaska!

"Change Has Come To America"

I'm not even an American, but watching his speech was something else.

Now let's put up or shut up, Dems.

"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America -- I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you -- we as a people will get there."

~ President-Elect, Barack Obama

This Is How I Want To Go...

Alright, so there's this guy in Grand Rapids, MI who bowled a perfect (perfect 300!) game of bowling not to long ago.

And right after the high fives, he dies of a massive heart attack right there in the bowling alley.

What?!

Maybe that's how I'd want to go...at least I can reassure myself that it would be a long time from now since at the moment my all time bowling record is a 47.

Check out the story:

Bowler collapses and dies after rolling 300 game

RAVENNA, Mich. (WZZM) - Teammates in his bowling league think after rolling a perfect 300 game Don Doane's heart just gave out.

"You get nervous shooting a 300," says teammate Todd Place. "The pressure keeps building," says bowling alley owner Jim Nutt.

Minutes after achieving the life long goal of a perfect game the 62 year old bowler collapsed and died at Ravenna Bowl in Ravenna. "Don just collapsed," says alley owner Nutt. " At first we thought he just fainted." "Then when I rolled him over I realized it wasn't good," says teammate Place.

The teammates say he was giving a high-five minutes before. They tried to revive him but Doane never spoke another word. He died of what was apparently a massive heart attack "He looked fine, reached across the table and gave me a high-five and he fell over," says Place.

"I think he died by the time he hit the floor." Don Doane was a member of the "Nutt Farm" bowling team at Ravenna Bowl for 45 years. His teammates says its strange not to see him on league nights.

"It was like a book, a final chapter," says Place. "He threw his 300 game with all of his friends, gave each other high-fives and it's like the story ended. He died with a smile on his face."

"Don will be a legend," says Nutt. 'It's something that will never be forgotten as long as people bowl here." Ravenna Bowl is planning a memorial ceremony for Doan's' wife Linda and son Chad.

Phil Dawson, WZZM 13 West Michigan

Banners That Make Me Smile

This made me laugh the same way The Bachelor reality TV show does...with a little sadness because people actually believe in this crap.

The day that teaching abstinence only is more effective than giving teenagers real and practical information about safer sex is the day that I will gladly eat one of my shoes.

New Blog To Read!

Alrighty, this campaign down South is sometimes annoying and "vicious circle" often comes to mind when I think about it, but-

I just found a really cool blog.

It's called "Margaret and Helen". They are two 82 year young women who are Obama supporters and have learned how to blog from one of their grandsons!

How awesome is that?

Their blog topics range from the overused "Bush-shit" to the clever "Maverick My Ass" to the very hilarious "The Straight Talk Express Just Drove Off the Bridge to Nowhere".

Enjoy this blog, it was sent to me from a friend- very cool :-)

And their photo of them in their scooters proves that age knows no limit- so Mary, get ready to blog!

http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com