Day 5: The Great Apartment Hunt

Day 5 of my search for a new dwelling and I've now come to the complete conclusion that the corporation that owns my current building is horrible.

I submitted my 60 days notice one week ago, and since my building has an inability to hold onto a superintendent for more than 4 months, it didn't get to the head office.

After quizzing the temporary caretaker who knew nothing, I called the head office. They hadn't received it (even though mail is supposed to be picked up daily). They were going to check it out, but if they couldn't find it then my 60 days would have to be re-submitted at the end of the month.

ARGH.

Last thing I need right now. I want out. Let me go. I can't stand the smell of pot, the vibration from the bass of my downstairs and next door neighbours' stereos, my next door neighbour's penchant to hammer what sounds like my walls, the parking lot fights, and the jerks who scream at their girlfriends.

Today I will find out for sure if they got my 60 days notice. Cross your fingers.

This Blog is Driving Me Crazy

Ok, I've been trying to upload videos all this week, but I'm having trouble with Blogger :(.

So, you'll have to take my word for it that High School Musical: On Ice was magical.

I was even amazing watching the 20 year old Anne-Marie strain herself to not jump out of her seat and sing along with the mediocre skaters and bad lip syncers.

Lovely.

The kickers was the fact that we could see the big bad Disney machine in full tilt...including Hannah Montana commercials, "Yearbooks" that cost $20 a piece, and $10 cotton candy (you got a free shitty hat with it).

Luckily we were with a couple of kids who; first didn't ask for a thing and second new exactly why they were selling all their over priced crap...to make money.

Round out the day with a quick lunch at McDonalds' and Jessie felt suitably devious.

p.s. I hope that my father and treacherous sisters are having a wonderful trip in the American south. Without me.

p.p.s. Annie, it's extremely sketchy in:

Louisiana: Vampires, debauchery, streets that smell like piss

Tennessee: Birthplace of the KKK, and mass murders (just like last week's)

Alabama: Birthplace of 9-1-1...wonder why they needed that so badly?

Getting Into The Holiday Spirit

There was just a report on Detroit news about a holiday event that happened at the Somerset Collection in Troy, Michigan.

For those you don't know about Somerset Collection it's a high end shopping mall that attracts the snobby, elitist and consumer happy, i.e. Anne-Marie.

Sometimes members of my family will make the trek to the good ole U.S. of A. to shop until they drop, either financially or physically.

Well, it seems that an incident occurred at Anne-Marie's shopping Mecca.

Or should I say outside Anne-Marie's shopping Mecca.

It seems that swiping a parking space is no longer just an annoying event during the busiest shopping season, it can be harmful to your health.

Here's the down low: a car is waiting for a primo spot. Another car swoops in and takes it instead. A heated exchange started, insults thrown. People get out of the car. Fists are thrown.

And in stereo-typical American fashion a HANDGUN is whipped out.

Definitely on the naughty list.

Just another example of consumerism rearing its ugly head.

Merry Xmas!

Why I Hate The Dove: Real Beauty Campaign

This is getting ridiculous.

I hate the Dove campaign for real beauty.

I don't disagree that we should be embracing a shapes, sizes, colours, heights, wrinkles, etc., etc.

But the point I've been making for years about this campaign is that it still is A MARKETING CAMPAIGN.

The company, Unilever that owns Dove is probably interested in breaking down stereotypes. But I think it's important to examine intent in this case. Why is Unilever so interested in making me feel as though I'm just as beautiful as the models they used to use in their campaigns? Why has Unilever taken such an interest in making me feel valued? Are they perhaps encouraging me to feel beautiful? I guess there's nothing wrong with that.

So what does it mean to be beautiful? I feel good about myself, I gain confidence...and perhaps I'll feel good enough that I'm afraid I won't feel this forever...therefore I'll want to keep staying beautiful...there for I'll buy Dove products? Hmmm...

Now, don't get all uppity. This is what corporations do. They want to sell there products, make a profit. But for some bizarre reason this thought leaves our heads. Dove wants us to feel happy, proud and excited about ourselves. Dove cares about us. Dove wants us to know that not only are we beautiful, but they acknowledge that we're beautiful.

Ok. So what? Dove is selling products by emotionally manipulating us. That's what commercials are all about. Advertising is an integral part of our lives. Deal with it. Move on and appreciate that Unilever actually does give a shit....

What was that?

Really? No shit, are you serious, Hilary?

Well, that certainly changes things.

Thanks for the heads up Hilary.

Sorry, my friend Hilary just let me know what other products Unilever owns and markets like it's going out of style.

The product?

AXE BODY SPRAY.

Yeah, put that in your self-esteem pipe and smoke it.

If you don't know what Axe Body Spray is, allow me to enlighten you.

Axe Body Spray is Canada's leading male deodorant.

Shall we investigate how Axe is marketed?

What are your thoughts? Since Unilever is so dedicated to enhancing women's self esteem, surely their campaign would transfer to their entire line, right? It would only make sense, really.

Let me just check their website...hm. Interesting.

You will never believe this. It appears that the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty isn't so all inclusive as we are led to believe.

Let me get this straight...Axe is for men. But all I see on their website are pictures of women. How empowering! Um. Except. None of them really look like the Real Beauty women. Wonder why that is.

Let's read some of the stuff about their line...

Ok, ahem, not really what I would expect from a corporation so dedicated to raising self esteem...it seems if you wear the Vice line you can turn nice girls naughty. And if you wear Kilo girls in bikinis will come and you can "...teach them how to rub things together to start a fire." Well, I guess if you're into survival camping that would be use- oh, I get it. Not very empowering there.

Let's keep looking, shall we?

"Axe Effect...internationally recognized name for increased attention Axe wearing males receive from eager and attractive female pursuers".

Eager and attractive? Wow.

And you know what...there's even a box where you can report a "Naughty Girl".

Ok, who makes this shit up?

I get that perhaps this was a failed attempt to make fun of the mating process. But since Axe is #1 in Canada there is cause for concern.

So allow me to enlighten you.

A. Women do not pull off clothing because men smell good.

B. You are living in a dream world if you believe that your armpit stick will induce lust filled antics

C. If you use Axe, you're an asshole.


So, Axe Body Spray and Dove Real Beauty. Kind of doesn't make sense. Even if the Axe marketing is just for fun, doesn't poking fun at women's inability to respect themselves because of shitty shower gel some loser uses because he thinks it will get him commitment free relationships counter act what they're doing?

I mean, the Real Beauty campaign isn't just a commercial. They have actual programs and talk to actual girls.

How does that go?

Girls, feel good in your own skin. You are beautiful. The media has an unattainable image when it comes to the perfect body.

Now boys. Here's your Axe. Spray on, stand back and wait for the onslaught of attractive and eager girls. And don't worry, they will definitely look like the women you drool over in Maxim magazine.

If none of this has stopped you from buying Dove, then maybe Unilever's track record on abusing animals and child labour will.

No? Then you may be interested that Unilever is encouraging women to feel good about their size and shape, but not so much the colour of their skin. In fact if you want to they can sell you a cream that will lighten your skin. It's called "Fair and Lovely".

And if you use it along with other Dove products, well then there are no bounds to your real beauty.

Boycotting Chapters/Indigo/SmithBooks/Coles...Geez, How Many Book Stores Does One Company Own?

Alright, so you all know I love a good protest, even a literary one.

A few years ago I boycotted Chapters after they continually placed feminist magazines like Bitch, Ms. and Girlfriends in the "Mens" section of their magazine area. This happened after I spent a good 20 minutes searching for my favourite magazine and found it beside the Sport Illustated "Swim Suit Edition".


Yes, feminist response to pop culture and the most maturbated to magazine really do belong side by side. If only for the pure irony of it all. Argh.


So began my boycott of Chapters. I wrote letters, informed staff that this was disgusting as well as offensive and took my business elsewhere.


A few months later I was informed that the feminist magazines had moved and found themselves in the "Womens" section. Right next to Cosmo and Glamour. Small steps, people, small steps.


Well, it seems that there is another reason to start boycotting Chapters and all the boook stores owned by its conglomerate....


A few weeks ago the first boycott happened at the Chapters on Wellington Rd. in London, and a couple of weeks later they brought the protest to the Chapters in Masonville.


If anything this whole movement is interesting, especially now that Rabble.ca has joined the boycott.


The gist of the protest is that the major shareholders of this coporation have created a not for profit organization that helps Israeli soldiers get educated...and seeing as how Israel's occupation is a teensy bit brutal folks don't like spending money when the profit go to mowing down houses and killing.


Check out the below article explaining why they're boycotting Chapters/Indigo/SmithBooks/Coles/Etc...


If you're into the Middle East situation it's interesting enough...and really the last thing that Isreal needs is another Western force donating money or power to further any hostilities. That being said, it's not a one sided argument in the least.


But I will say that we can get into a lot of trouble if we bring conflict from the Middle East to Canada (Londoners will remember the "The Wall" incident at UWO a few years ago).


My suggestion is that we start talking about what's going on without coming to blows over a situation that's physically so far away.


But I will say that protest is the matrix for change, and that living in such an apathetic area such as SW Ontario makes me want to ruin some people's lawns and smash their stupid lawn gnomes. WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR PEOPLE TO START THINKING ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE WHEN IT COMES TO CONSUMPTION?


Sigh.


Maybe the Chapters protests won't work, but sitting around certainly won't help.



The book lounge joins boycott of Chapters/Indigo
Bound but not gagged


We at rabble have decided to join with Palestinian solidarity activists in their boycott of the Chapters/Indigo family of companies. As a result, we will no longer be publicizing events taking place at Chapters, Indigo, The World’s Biggest Bookstore, Coles, Smithbooks, and The Book Company.

The boycott aims to pressure Heather Reisman and Gerry Schwartz — the owners of the Chapters/Indigo group — to halt their financial backing of the HESEG Foundation for Lone Soldiers. Founded by Reisman and Schwartz in 2005, HESEG provides scholarships to former “lone soldiers” of the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF) who are pursuing post-secondary education. It has been commended by Israel’s former Minister of Defence, Shaul Mofaz, for “directly supporting the morale of the IDF.”

As their title suggests “lone soldiers” are non-Israeli individuals who volunteer to serve in the IDF. As IDF soldiers, they support an army that systematically oppresses Palestinian citizens by operating checkpoints, restricting Palestinian freedom of movement and enforcing the occupation of Palestinian land. The IDF has been found responsible by human-rights groups and Israeli courts for countless rights violations in the West Bank and Gaza including the unlawful killing, arbitrary detention, torture and assault of hundreds of Palestinians.

This boycott is being spearheaded by the Coalition Against Israeli Apartheid, the Coalition for Justice and Peace in Palestine, Palestinian and Jewish Unity and the Jewish Alliance Against the Occupation. The boycott is part of the larger International Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions Campaign, which is endorsed by 170 Palestinian Civil Society Organizations. —rabble book lounge staff

Christmas Attack

Help.

In my office there is a tacky, fiber optic Christmas tree.

NOOOOOO!

After cracking the secret code...

Ralphie: (Reading It) Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!

A Warning To Carollers In Airports

Consider this a warning.

I just saw a new Christmas commercial (yes, it's that time of year again) where a mother and two children are stuck at the airport, delayed for a flight.

In the midst of this dreary wait, the mother pulls out the crappy Hallmark "gift" and then turns it on. And plays Jingle Bells.

Let me make myself perfectly clear.

If anyone ever decides to actually do this when I'm waiting for a delayed flight in a high traffic time period I will take that sweat shop made Hallmark piece of crap and hit you with it. Repeatedly. Seriously, Frosty's carrot nose will be embedded in your ass like an American jounalist in Baghdad.

Just so you're all warned.