I Blame the Parents

As I sit in my parents' house while they are away in Washington, DC I find my attention shifting to their immense cable TV package.

I don't have the ever trite channel "TLC" (which doesn't stand for "Tender Lovin' Care", although I think it should) but for me it's like crack. I love it. I can't stop from flicking over to it every few hours and see what's on.

I find that most of their shows are based on crushing souls. Sometimes it's crushing people's spirits by telling them that they look like shit (What Not To Wear, Ten Years Younger, Big Medicine, Makeover Train, Must Love Kids), or by making you feel bad that you don't cook organically for your family and you only have TWO kids (Jon and Kate Plus Eight), or by crushing the dreams of first time home owners (Property Ladder, Date My House, Flip That House). And of course, my new favourite crazy train, 17 Kids and Counting with the ever-Quiverfull Duggar family.

Since my new obsession is the Duggar family in all of their conservative Baptist craziness, imagine my surprise (and bizarre delight) when back to back episodes aired this evening.

Where do I begin?

There are so many things that make me shake my head at this family.

Let's start with this evening's episode. This evening's show had the Duggars hosting the Bates family from Tennessee, another Quiverfull family, they have 16 kids.

Side note: the Bates found out that number 17 is on it's way via a stop at a gas station.

Apparently this is the Duggars attempt to normalize their huge family (See America! We're not out of our minds! There's another family that's just like us!). Seriously, the families are so alike I can't even tell the moms apart.

Eventually the convo turned to the ever quaint term of "courtship". No dating for the Duggars or the Bates. If you get chosen (or betroved or matched or forced) to be courted, there's no way out. You are getting married. Oh, and the courtship? No contact. Except hand holding. That's it. And to ensure this, every time you go out we're sending one of your siblings to chaparone you. WTF? Chaperone? Bascially the message is, we've sheltered you all your life, kept you away from TV, the Internet and well, we think if you two are alone, well, you'll succumb to your horny temptations. My question would be, since they've been so sheltered, would they even know what to do?

Anyway, during this episode it was a touch obvious that a Duggar/Bates matchmaking effort would not be distasteful for either side.

And I did find out about the clothing situation. Apparently the long skirt/high neck lines are pleasing to God. But I think it's interesting to see that the girls' clothing are obviously hand made, while the boys wear something akin to J. Crew. So, bascially we're enjoying re-enforcing those gender stereotypes in a variety of different ways.

Side note: when the Duggars/Bates went to a Christian theme park the Bates kids were wearing the same outfits as the "pilgrims". You couldn't tell them apart.

And finally (for now) what I find MOST ridiculous about both families is their espousing that there is no TV, no music (even contemporary Christian music is a no-no), no Internet, and no friends who don't share same values.

But do you know what both families do think is an appropriate family activity?

PAINT BALL.

Yes, dressing up in layers (because when the kids are done they are covered in painful bruises), picking up a gun filled with paint pellets and using kids as young as 4 as target practice.

Yeah, nice wholesome family fun.

Am I the only one to see the ridiculous-ness of this? I don't know what to say.

And as the Facebook group I just joined says, "It's A Vagina, Not A Clown Car".

We're Gonna Miss Ya, Kinda

Things we'll miss about you, Gov. Palin...

Folksy mannerisms
Your pronunciations (lack of) your Rs
Your "experience"
Your unnerving mis-education about the Bush Doctrine
Your laws that require rape victims to purchase their own rape kits
Your fucking insane stance on the abortion issue
Your weird winking
Your spending
Tina Fey
Your aversion to pronouncing the letter "g" at the end of words
How you have forever changed what a "Maverick" is
Your destruction of McCain's reputation
Your wardrobe
Your ethics, or lack there of
You mentioning "Main Street" every g-d second
The way you combine people's first name, "the" and their profession (classic!)
The way you bash community organizers (F U)
Your subtle evocations of the ever thoughtful chant of "Drill Baby, Drill"
Pageant jokes
Trying to pass off a part time job as mayor to a town of 9,000 as true experience
Teen pregnancies
Your sentences to Nowhere
Helicopter hunting for the continental US
You're roguish ways
Any interviews you have ever done
Seeing you meet the real Nicholas Sarkozy for the first time
Forced teen marriage
You trying to make the beluga extinct
You checking on Russia every morning from your kitchen window

But most of all I will miss...um...hang on...um...oh yeah.

Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

Don't let the door hit you on your ass on the way back to Alaska!

Why I Hate The Dove: Real Beauty Campaign

This is getting ridiculous.

I hate the Dove campaign for real beauty.

I don't disagree that we should be embracing a shapes, sizes, colours, heights, wrinkles, etc., etc.

But the point I've been making for years about this campaign is that it still is A MARKETING CAMPAIGN.

The company, Unilever that owns Dove is probably interested in breaking down stereotypes. But I think it's important to examine intent in this case. Why is Unilever so interested in making me feel as though I'm just as beautiful as the models they used to use in their campaigns? Why has Unilever taken such an interest in making me feel valued? Are they perhaps encouraging me to feel beautiful? I guess there's nothing wrong with that.

So what does it mean to be beautiful? I feel good about myself, I gain confidence...and perhaps I'll feel good enough that I'm afraid I won't feel this forever...therefore I'll want to keep staying beautiful...there for I'll buy Dove products? Hmmm...

Now, don't get all uppity. This is what corporations do. They want to sell there products, make a profit. But for some bizarre reason this thought leaves our heads. Dove wants us to feel happy, proud and excited about ourselves. Dove cares about us. Dove wants us to know that not only are we beautiful, but they acknowledge that we're beautiful.

Ok. So what? Dove is selling products by emotionally manipulating us. That's what commercials are all about. Advertising is an integral part of our lives. Deal with it. Move on and appreciate that Unilever actually does give a shit....

What was that?

Really? No shit, are you serious, Hilary?

Well, that certainly changes things.

Thanks for the heads up Hilary.

Sorry, my friend Hilary just let me know what other products Unilever owns and markets like it's going out of style.

The product?

AXE BODY SPRAY.

Yeah, put that in your self-esteem pipe and smoke it.

If you don't know what Axe Body Spray is, allow me to enlighten you.

Axe Body Spray is Canada's leading male deodorant.

Shall we investigate how Axe is marketed?

What are your thoughts? Since Unilever is so dedicated to enhancing women's self esteem, surely their campaign would transfer to their entire line, right? It would only make sense, really.

Let me just check their website...hm. Interesting.

You will never believe this. It appears that the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty isn't so all inclusive as we are led to believe.

Let me get this straight...Axe is for men. But all I see on their website are pictures of women. How empowering! Um. Except. None of them really look like the Real Beauty women. Wonder why that is.

Let's read some of the stuff about their line...

Ok, ahem, not really what I would expect from a corporation so dedicated to raising self esteem...it seems if you wear the Vice line you can turn nice girls naughty. And if you wear Kilo girls in bikinis will come and you can "...teach them how to rub things together to start a fire." Well, I guess if you're into survival camping that would be use- oh, I get it. Not very empowering there.

Let's keep looking, shall we?

"Axe Effect...internationally recognized name for increased attention Axe wearing males receive from eager and attractive female pursuers".

Eager and attractive? Wow.

And you know what...there's even a box where you can report a "Naughty Girl".

Ok, who makes this shit up?

I get that perhaps this was a failed attempt to make fun of the mating process. But since Axe is #1 in Canada there is cause for concern.

So allow me to enlighten you.

A. Women do not pull off clothing because men smell good.

B. You are living in a dream world if you believe that your armpit stick will induce lust filled antics

C. If you use Axe, you're an asshole.


So, Axe Body Spray and Dove Real Beauty. Kind of doesn't make sense. Even if the Axe marketing is just for fun, doesn't poking fun at women's inability to respect themselves because of shitty shower gel some loser uses because he thinks it will get him commitment free relationships counter act what they're doing?

I mean, the Real Beauty campaign isn't just a commercial. They have actual programs and talk to actual girls.

How does that go?

Girls, feel good in your own skin. You are beautiful. The media has an unattainable image when it comes to the perfect body.

Now boys. Here's your Axe. Spray on, stand back and wait for the onslaught of attractive and eager girls. And don't worry, they will definitely look like the women you drool over in Maxim magazine.

If none of this has stopped you from buying Dove, then maybe Unilever's track record on abusing animals and child labour will.

No? Then you may be interested that Unilever is encouraging women to feel good about their size and shape, but not so much the colour of their skin. In fact if you want to they can sell you a cream that will lighten your skin. It's called "Fair and Lovely".

And if you use it along with other Dove products, well then there are no bounds to your real beauty.

Should We Even Be Surprised?

Hey all. So last night they crowned another irrelevant beauty queen.

This video is making the rounds...Miss Teen South Carolina answering a question.

Did she even listen?!?

Check it out and have a good Saturday laugh.

Please Let This Be Ironic...

My father sent me this video.

He then encouraged me to send it to my Aunt Ellen.

Sigh.

I hope he thought this was ridiculous funny.

If not, he'll be sorry.

I posted it on Youtube.com...here it is. Please direct all angry emails to Thomas Rodger.

"Pretty" People Falling Down

Ok, so I love model shows. America's Next Top Model, Canada's Next Top Model...very, very funny.

I think the reason I love these shows is the curing of hubris that assaults the "beautiful" girls...their self-doubt and shaky self esteem that they discover for the first time ever, on camera.

I know it's cruel, but it's reassuring since they always look so fucking sure of themselves. It's good to bring them down a few pegs.

As well, I think it's a bit retarded that we reward people for being genetic freaks. The one major reason I keep watching ANTM is because their models have yet to actual become top models...just a bunch of cute girls who get to watch their dreams disappear.

Ohhh, and "8th and Ocean". If you ever see that on TV, you must catch it. It's a show about a bunch of manic, low self esteem, young, stupid models living in an apartment complex together in Miami that constantly whine, "But in Idaho I was the prettiest girl in school!". Hahaha.

It's every average looking person's revenge. Nothing destroys their self esteem more than meeting another pretty person.

So enjoy this clip from Fashion Television. It's a little hard to take when you hear Jeanne Beker talk about how "...it's not so easy being a model."

Bullshit. It really is JUST walking.

Do you have to use your brain during modeling? No matter how much I love Tyra, she's not going to convince me it takes a lot of grey matter to "negotiate" the catwalk. If wisdom equals better modelling then 35 year old models would be the norm.

Anyway, to be honest I'm tired of the unfriendly model. I don't want you grinning like an idiot, just crack a smile now and then. That's the best part of the fall, when they actually morph from moving coat rack to actual human being.

Eek! The City of London Is All Gay-ified!

Well, if you haven't heard by now that the City of London has decided to make an official proclaimation for Gay Pride Week along with flying the rainbow flag at City Hall then I guess the homophobes haven't gotten to you yet.

After an over decade long ban on all proclaimations the City of London decided to do what it wouldn't in 1995, declare Pride in London.

For those you who don't remember, Diane "Parachute" Haskett refused to declare Gay Pride many moons ago because of personal religious beliefs. She (along with the City of London) were brought before a Human Rights Tribunal and found guilty. Since then the response of City Hall is to not declare ANYTHING. That's nice, isn't it?

Anyway, they decided that this year would be the year that they final start acknowledging that London does indeed have an active gay community. It's hard to ignore this community when the hatred towards them is as pronounced as it is in the city.

Well, as soon as they decided they were going to declare Pride the homophobes and homo-prejudice started coming out of the wood work.

And with them they brought along their tired-ass excuses.

Seriously, if I hear ONE MORE TIME the excuse of "Well, I'm just waiting for the day they declare Heterosexual Week" heads are going to roll.

Ok, here it is...I want everyone to listen.

EVERY WEEK IS HETEROSEXUAL WEEK.

The day that straight couples get beat with baseball bats and lead pipes in front of Jim Bob Ray's Bar while being called "breeders" is the day I'll ask for a Heterosexual Week.

I don't think it's too much to ask to give the gay community a week in which they can celebrate being themselves. Especially when the other 51 weeks out of the year it's fairly dangerous to do so, especially in London.

And I'm really sick and tired of people complaining about the blatant sexuality that is present during Pride, most notably during the Pride Parade.

Again, let's get our thinking caps on, shall we?

If you were told for pretty much your entire life that you were not allowed to hold hands with your partner, kiss, cuddle, throw an arm around or generally be affectionate in public would you maybe over compensate during the one week when it's not so taboo?

And really people, I think we're all just stick in the muds when it comes to sexuality. Calm yourselves, it's only glitter and spandex.

I see more disgusting displays at Masonville Mall in front of SilverCity. And those are the little 12 and 13 year olds...maybe we should be talking about our over sexualizing little girls? Nooooo, having underwire in a training bra is perfectly normal!

I will love, Love, LOVE the day when this city starts getting riled up about things that actually matter rather than spew homo-prejudice bullshit.

Faith Hill is HUGE!

Faith Hill is going to be on the cover of Redbook...and the cover shot was taken from a photo shot done for a Jezabel Fashions (I don't even know what that is).

The kicker?

They totally photoshopped Faith.

Good thing, she's such fattie.

Boycotting Chapters/Indigo/SmithBooks/Coles...Geez, How Many Book Stores Does One Company Own?

Alright, so you all know I love a good protest, even a literary one.

A few years ago I boycotted Chapters after they continually placed feminist magazines like Bitch, Ms. and Girlfriends in the "Mens" section of their magazine area. This happened after I spent a good 20 minutes searching for my favourite magazine and found it beside the Sport Illustated "Swim Suit Edition".


Yes, feminist response to pop culture and the most maturbated to magazine really do belong side by side. If only for the pure irony of it all. Argh.


So began my boycott of Chapters. I wrote letters, informed staff that this was disgusting as well as offensive and took my business elsewhere.


A few months later I was informed that the feminist magazines had moved and found themselves in the "Womens" section. Right next to Cosmo and Glamour. Small steps, people, small steps.


Well, it seems that there is another reason to start boycotting Chapters and all the boook stores owned by its conglomerate....


A few weeks ago the first boycott happened at the Chapters on Wellington Rd. in London, and a couple of weeks later they brought the protest to the Chapters in Masonville.


If anything this whole movement is interesting, especially now that Rabble.ca has joined the boycott.


The gist of the protest is that the major shareholders of this coporation have created a not for profit organization that helps Israeli soldiers get educated...and seeing as how Israel's occupation is a teensy bit brutal folks don't like spending money when the profit go to mowing down houses and killing.


Check out the below article explaining why they're boycotting Chapters/Indigo/SmithBooks/Coles/Etc...


If you're into the Middle East situation it's interesting enough...and really the last thing that Isreal needs is another Western force donating money or power to further any hostilities. That being said, it's not a one sided argument in the least.


But I will say that we can get into a lot of trouble if we bring conflict from the Middle East to Canada (Londoners will remember the "The Wall" incident at UWO a few years ago).


My suggestion is that we start talking about what's going on without coming to blows over a situation that's physically so far away.


But I will say that protest is the matrix for change, and that living in such an apathetic area such as SW Ontario makes me want to ruin some people's lawns and smash their stupid lawn gnomes. WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR PEOPLE TO START THINKING ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE WHEN IT COMES TO CONSUMPTION?


Sigh.


Maybe the Chapters protests won't work, but sitting around certainly won't help.



The book lounge joins boycott of Chapters/Indigo
Bound but not gagged


We at rabble have decided to join with Palestinian solidarity activists in their boycott of the Chapters/Indigo family of companies. As a result, we will no longer be publicizing events taking place at Chapters, Indigo, The World’s Biggest Bookstore, Coles, Smithbooks, and The Book Company.

The boycott aims to pressure Heather Reisman and Gerry Schwartz — the owners of the Chapters/Indigo group — to halt their financial backing of the HESEG Foundation for Lone Soldiers. Founded by Reisman and Schwartz in 2005, HESEG provides scholarships to former “lone soldiers” of the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF) who are pursuing post-secondary education. It has been commended by Israel’s former Minister of Defence, Shaul Mofaz, for “directly supporting the morale of the IDF.”

As their title suggests “lone soldiers” are non-Israeli individuals who volunteer to serve in the IDF. As IDF soldiers, they support an army that systematically oppresses Palestinian citizens by operating checkpoints, restricting Palestinian freedom of movement and enforcing the occupation of Palestinian land. The IDF has been found responsible by human-rights groups and Israeli courts for countless rights violations in the West Bank and Gaza including the unlawful killing, arbitrary detention, torture and assault of hundreds of Palestinians.

This boycott is being spearheaded by the Coalition Against Israeli Apartheid, the Coalition for Justice and Peace in Palestine, Palestinian and Jewish Unity and the Jewish Alliance Against the Occupation. The boycott is part of the larger International Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions Campaign, which is endorsed by 170 Palestinian Civil Society Organizations. —rabble book lounge staff

Rated

Ok, so some of you who scroll down to the end of this page may have noticed an addition.

I have been rated.

Yes, there is a website where you can submit your blog and they will scan it and rate it.

Apparently, this blog is rated: R. For restricted.

The reason? Because I wrote vagina like, 10 times or something.

And gay, don't forget that.

So apparently, vagina and gay are bad, bad words.

That's such crap. Oops, crap was on their list...That's such fecal matter.

So, take a look at the rating, because in defiance I am taking it down in a bit.

Vagina is not dirty. Get over it. And last time I checked 'gay' wasn't a bad word.

I'm tempted to type in some really nasty stuff to justify my point, but my grandparents frequent this site, so I won't.

This Is The Crap I'm Talking About...

Men on pimp rap as teen flees
By JONATHAN JENKINS -- Sun Media


TORONTO (Sun Media) - A teenage girl held against her will and forced to have sex with men at strip clubs and private parties sneaked away from her captors and flagged down a passing police officer for help.

"It was fortunate for her that she was able to find him, he was virtually right across the street," Toronto Police Det.-Const. Eduardo Dizon said.

The victim, 17, escaped on May 30 after three weeks of forced prostitution, Dizon said.
Three men have been arrested in the case in the past two weeks and all face a variety of prostitution-related offences, including living off the avails of an underage prostitute, forcible confinement and sexual exploitation.

Dizon said the young woman met the main culprit through a friend and he quickly lured her into turning tricks.

PAID FOR SEX

Any illusion she may have had of having a say in the matter quickly faded, Dizon said, and she was not allowed to keep any of the money she was paid for sex.

"She was physically restrained from leaving," he said. "At times when she tried to leave or questioned whether she could leave she was assaulted and choked."

At one point, the man who first lured her left town, leaving two other suspects to watch over her.

That's when she was able to slip away from the men holding her and find the passing police officer.

Christopher Lewis, 22, is to appear in College Park court today. Garnett Grant, 25, also known as G and G-Money, is to appear in Old City Hall court today.

Released on bail June 22, Donovan Lewars, 25, will be back in court July 19.

An Open Letter To The London Free Press

Re: Billboards pimping beer dumb, not offensive

Being able to connect cause and effect is vital to solving our community’s problems. It seems as though Ian Gillespie’s column “Billboards pimping beer dumb, not offensive” missed this valuable opportunity to draw connections. For those of you who are unaware London does have pimps.

Those of us working with our eyes open are very aware of this fact. What is a pimp? The short definition is that a pimp is a coward, a liar who sexually exploits others. In London’s case many are sexually exploiting children and youth.

Most people constantly ask the question “How is it that child after child is being recruited into the sex trade and is being sexually abused in London?” Campaigns such as this beer ad and Mr. Gillespie’s response don’t help by using the word in a humourous and playful manner. The word pimp is not playful.

I think reclaiming words is an interesting way some social groups go about gaining some of their power back; however in this case the persecuted people are not the ones trying to re-instate the word pimp. And since we have pimps in London and rarely in our community do the adult sex trade workers have pimps, it can only be deduced that we are trying to glorify people who take part in the sexual abuse of our children youth. That is simply disgusting.

Just because we have television shows like “Pimp My Ride” (MTV) and contests like “Pimp My Garden” (Toronto Star) and “Pimp My Library Cart” (Wisconsin Library) doesn’t mean we’ve taken back a word.

You can’t identify a pimp by what they wear. Far from popular opinion pimps do not wear grillz, bling, fur coats, feathers in their hats, carry canes or challis’ filled with alcohol. Nor do they drive Cadillacs’ with hydraulics. They look like every other person on the street. They can be young or old, male or female, affluent or poor. In fact 30% of the sexual predators (pimps included) make more than $50,000 a year from a legitimate job. 10% make more than $80,000 a year. These folks are “upstanding” citizens.

Pimp is not a word we can reclaim until we recognize the fear and violence (sexual, physical, and emotional) they disseminate throughout the young people they hurt on a continual basis in London.

As well, I take offence to Gillespie’s implication that this issue shouldn’t be talked about. Using the word pimp in our vocabulary is disgusting, hateful and offensive. Talking about this is the only way to ensure London’s youth stay safe.

This attempt to stifle conversation about this topic is reminiscent of pimps threatening kids if they talk about what’s going on, they’ll kill them or the people they love.

I guess it’s reminiscent because I see and hear it on a daily basis.


Jessie Rodger

Who Invited Her?

What the hell was she doing on the red carpet?

Loose Lips Are Utterly Idiodic

Alright, so I can't say I was really pleased about Nelly Furtado's change in music from folk-y pop to brazen stereotypical sex kitten...but I had to admit there was a certain catchy beat to her tunes.

And I will even admit to liking a couple of her new songs. I certainly don't hold my musical taste in high esteem, I love to listen to JoJo, and more infamously, Asslee Simpson.

But as I was scrolling around the Bitch Magazine website (a great site, an even better magazine as a response to popular culture, www.bitchmagazine.com) I came across a piece on Ms. Furtado. Check it:

Nelly Furtado: Like a Birdbrain
Great. Another famous women who's only too happy to perpetuate the idea that feminists are all about recruiting other women in their quest to get the entire female populace to hate dudes, renounce their sexuality, and stop shaving. Specifically, pop singer Nelly Furtado, whose vapid equation of feminism with man-hating showed up in no less than three international papers this morning: Nelly Furtado has turned her back on her feminist past because she fears it "brainwashed" her into hating men. The LIKE A BIRD singer admits she dabbled with women's rights when she first became a star, but now she's a single mum with a "secret boyfriend" she's a huge fan of guys. She says, "I went through a feminist phase and read a lot of philosophical stuff. "Some of the male-bashing brainwashed me for a bit so I stopped. I love men." I have nothing to add that isn't a really foul string of expletives.
—A.Z. permanent link Comments (36)

OK, lesson 1 in feminism for Nelly Furtado:

Feminism is not about hating anyone. It's the exact opposite, it's about loving. Loving women, respecting women, and understanding that, yes you may be able to be a success in say, the music industry, but let's not forget, Ms. Furtado that you are still required to strip down to blatant sexuality to sell records.

Remember when you made the folk pop music? Yeah, the first album was fantastic. The second? Yes, it tanked but is your response really going to be to trade it all in for a couple of hits that demean you as a woman? Promiscuous? Maneater?

My mistake, Ms. Furtado. You're completely right. The women's movement has progressed so much that even you can exploit your sexuality for monetary gains.

What the hell is the matter with you?

If anything you are an example of why feminism is so crucial at a time like this. So thank you for your idiocy and your complete misunderstanding.

The man (because I'm assuming a woman wasn't the one who had enough power to put a microphone in your hand) that created your career must be very proud.

I can't even believe you.

For feminism to work not only women have to be on board, but men as well. Hating men is detrimental to feminism, don't you see that, you twit? You've got it backwards.

But thanks for everything...I really appreciate your insight.

Your reaction doesn't add up. You call yourself open minded and interested in grassroots political action. Is this true? Or is this something that you say because it fit the image that you wanted? Now that you're "Loose" are you high tailing it to LA and dumping the independent streak?

WTF?

I'm completely confused.

For crying out loud your own mother was a chambermaid! You'd think you'd be able to identify gender equality by now! But it seems like you wouldn't know it if it smacked you on the ass like a dancer in your video.

Ha, ha! Being a commodity is so hot!

So enjoy it, sister. You may be flying high off of bouncing back from record sales, but when your next album tanks, or a younger, prettier singer comes around we'll see how important feminism is to you then.

But when you're ready, you'll be welcomed back with open arms. Because we don't hate you, we just want to smack some sense into you.

A Short Political Break

Alrighty, just stumbled across this when I saw in the Freeps that Rick Mercer visited London yesterday.

Check out his blog and "endorsement" of Dianne Haskett for the Conservative Party in the London by-election.

Hilarious, and true.

Dad and I will be checking out a taping of The Mercer Report a week from Friday...yea!

http://rickmercer.blogspot.com/