Stewart On Palin

I have been trying to find a place where I could see this clip that everyone's been talking about for the past two weeks.

And it's brilliant. Truly, it shows what a douchebag Karl Rove and his cronies are.

Sexism is alive and well...lets see how the rest of their circus goes...

Uh, WTF?

Ok, so I was curious about this move that Stephen Colbert made when he started having musical guests on his show. I figured he was doing the same thing as Jon Stewart, where on the daily show they've had a total of 3 musical guest (give or take) in the past eight years...Tom Waits, The White Stripes and Coldplay...not a bad line up.

Colbert started off with Canadian GODS, Rush. Awesome interview, excellent song (Tom SAWYER), Neil Peart drum solo (drool), and the next episode of The Report had Stephen waking up at the studio with Rush still playing (Ha ha! They have really, really long songs!).

Last night Crosby, Stills and Nash sang one of their protest songs (with Colbert dressed as the missing Neil Young, singing along).

But both of these performances book ended someone who just scared the shit out of me. And my fears were compounded when I readed The Huffington Post late yesterday.

Toby eff-ing Keith.

If you're not familiar with Keith, he a good ole boy country star. Likes his steaks thick, women submissive, and apparently his songs tinged with racism.

I thought that Colbert was going to rip him to shreds. But no. A bit of boot lickin' and a song was sung...I turned the channel.

And here's the song...highlighted with the SCARY part.

Well a man come on the 6 o'clock news
said somebody's been shot
somebody's been abused
somebody blew up a building
somebody stole a car
somebody got away
somebody didn't get to far yeah
they didn't get too far

Grandpappy told my pappy back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he'd done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street
For all the people to see

That Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune
And we'll all meet back at the local saloon
And we'll raise up our glasses against evil forces singing
whiskey for my men, beer for my horses

We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
too much corruption and crime in the streets
It's time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send 'em all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down
You can bet he'll set 'em down...

(courtesy of The Huffington Post)

GAH!

WTF?

Freaking Amazing.

Ok, so I'm ready to debrief on my amazing evening of seeing the one and only Jon Stewart.

It started by almost being ended. That is there was some crazy shit going on the 401 and 403.

People don't know how to drive anymore, I mean it. We were severely cut off by an American right by the Husky station when we left town.

Not cool...and we couldn't give them the one finger salute as Andrew saw the New York licence plate and immediately his mind went to "they have a concealed weapon".

Besides that Andrew and I enjoyed watching the almost carnage unfolding a few cars ahead of us...until we realized that we were hurtling towards the almost crash at 120 km/hr.

But we did arrive at the Fallsview Casino and Hotel...and let me say...very nice.

We parked the car and headed out to find the elevators...instead Andrew took us down a hallway that was very smelly and literally led out to the edge of the cliff. Wrong way, definitely.

Then we found the elevators and headed up to the hotel/casino...very nice.

Now I thought since Andrew had bragged about being a poker savant we would head into the casino...I had $20 worth of quarters weighing me down...but no. He doesn't find that "enjoyable". There should be a law that people who can count cards (because I know you can) should ALWAYS have to drop some coin in a casino. Whatever.

Andrew and I did get to have a great dinner at the Golden Lotus...very nice Chinese restaurant in the casino...where Andrew scared all the wait staff by trying to speak English using his scary hand gestures.

But we eventually convinced Jacob (although I'm almost positive that wasn't his given name...mainly because I don't think China has a huge Jewish population) to get us some Peking Duck...mmmmm....duck....

And it was full out. Very fancy...2 courses...crispy skin...duck hash...iceberg lettuce...picture to come.

Lots of delicious-ness.

Afterwards we walked around the building...and ended up at a toy store. Luckily Andrew restrained himself from buying anything for his child who already has one of everything.

Then we got in line. I'll give you a visual. Imagine a roped off line that could fit about 50 concert goers. Now imagine that line empty...except for Andrew and I eagerly awaiting 8pm when the doors opened. Seriously, we were the only ones waiting.

Then it was time for doors to open. One hour before we were in our seats...which didn't have arm rests...which made Andrew very uncomfortable. He likes barriers. Yeah, no shit.

Then the rest of the concert goers started to come in...the audience was varied.

We learned a few things from the audience. Firstly, it seems they were giving out tickets at the early bird dinner. Lots of grey hairs. Secondly, Andrew and I were severely over dressed. But I like to think we were taking it the most serious of anyone. And we really couldn't chance anything. I was glad I dressed up when Andrew told me that there was a rumour that Stephen Colbert was opening. He didn't, but still. Close call.

As people filed in to the sold out performance we did see Jon's estranged father, Donald Leibowitz in the crowd...you know when you're a superfan when you know who the distant parents are...kudos to Andrew.

And then we heard it...Teenage Wasteland by The Who.

And if you know anything about Jon, you know that this is the song he always walks onto stage to.

Flippin' amazing.

And then mildly disturbing. I knew Jon was a short man...I had no idea he was a tiny man, too.

Wow.

Anyway he did an amazing set...albeit stuff I have on my iPod already. But it didn't matter.

He was FANTASTIC.

It was AMAZING. SOOOO AMAZING.

I HEART JON.

ONE MORE DAY TO GO!! GAH!

Ok...we have ONE more day until we are going to see Jon Stewart at the Niagara casino...

I am so excited.

I can barely contain myself.

And I know you're itching for another Jon Stewart fact:

He is one of the only people who can go on the Bill O'Reilly show "The O'Reilly Factor" and come out looking like a smart person. Bill O'Reilly can't even come out of that show looking smart.

Enjoy.

5 DAYS TO GO!

FACT #5

Jon Stewart has been in many movies you may have heard of; Half Baked, Big Daddy, Playing By Heart...

But did you know there are several movies Stewart was cut out of?

Almost Romantic: (a movie made with Janeane Garofalo, would have probably been the most sarcastic movie ever made)

Bird Meets Girl: (Jon was slated to play the mascot for the Baltimore Orioles who falls in love with a female sports reporter...maybe it's good that this was never released)

The First Wives Club: (apparently his ass made an appearance in the previews, but after focus groups saw the film they were unanimous in their hatred of Stewart in the movie)

Wavelength: (This was a movie almost made where Stewart played a sarcastic, bitter MTV jock who rips the head of the network another hole and gets transfered to a small radio station in Jamaica)

and...

A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (Stewart made a cameo and it was cut out, apparently John Cusack played an evil banker who tried to bring down David Arquette's music store...whatever. Now muppets are on my shit list)

"Everytime someone says 'Happy Holidays', an angel gets AIDS."

~ Jon Stewart

6 DAYS TO GO!!

FACT #4

Did you know that Jon Stewart is not only considered a hermit, but also a hypochondriac?

It's true.

Stewart's nickname is "Susceptible Boy".

8 DAYS TO GO!

FACT #3

Jon Stewart's production company is called "Busboy Productions". It's named for Stewart's previous job as, you got it, a busboy.

It's tag sound is a glass being broken followed by "Oops, sorry."

9 DAYS TO GO!!

FACT #2

Jon Stewart can bring down cable news by calling Tucker Carlson a dick.

If you haven't seen this yet, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmj6JADOZ-8

11 DAYS TO GO!

As some of you may or may not know, in 11 short days I will be seeing one of my heroes (along with Stephen Lewis and my mom), Jon Stewart LIVE in concert.

I hope you're all as excited as I am.

In commemeration for this amazing event I will be counting down the days with some very interesting Jon Stewart knowledge so that you're all informed when I go to see him at the Niagara Casinorama.

Fact #1

Did you know that Jon Stewart's original last name is Leibowitz? But do you know why he changed it to his middle name, Stewart (by the way, his middle name was spelt Stuart)? Contrary to popular opinion, he didn't change it because it was too Hollywood (by the way, this reason Stewart gave was in reference to a Lenny Bruce joke). The real reason Stewart changed his last name, along with his wife was because of a troubled relationship with his father, a physicist, left his mother, brother and him when he was 9 years old.

And there you go.

"On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently 3 full-time, 24-hour news networks."

~Jon Stewart