EVERYONE WELCOME!!

GAH!

RISE for Youth is bringing Sheldon Kennedy to London!!!

September 12th

7pm

Lamplighter Inn

Tickets are $10!!!

Things I'm Excited About

1. The new season of "The Hills"

The whole lot of women on this show irritate and drive me crazy, but I'm addicted to the melodrama of their lives. It's ridic. I heart this show. I love watching them mispronounce "Les Deux" (Les Doo, haha). Sigh. I hate everything about this show...fashion, materiality, Vogue, Spiedi, clubbing, Hummers, socialites, himbos...But the drama is SO GOOD.

2. Hilary Duff Concert

Monday, September 10th
John Labatt Centre
Section 3, Row 9 (on the floor)
Screaming 14 year olds
And me

3. Ikea

I'm going Saturday. I may go a bit crazy.

Car Dirty?

Hey All,

My friend Mojdeh and her cutie son, Darius are on their way to Ghana at the end of this month! Mojo's going to be teaching in a school and Darius will be attending!

In preparation she's having a fundraising car wash tomorrow at the Loblaws at Wonderland and Southdale between 10am and 3pm.

Minimum donations are $5.

I'll be there towards the end of the day, so take your dirty car to Mojo!

Your money is better spent with her than at a money grubbing gas bar.

I'm Craving Some Of That Raspberry Cordial

So, I was prepared for a nice cozy evening with my littlest sister only to be turfed out of the family room and exiled to my room. Currently, Annie is downstairs with her friends making lots of noise.

I can't wait until I have my place. (Speaking of which I spoke with my super Super, Igor, yesterday....things are moving quite nicely!).

I guess this is the thanks I get for letting her use my car.

If I can't hang out with that Anne, I was left to the other Anne.

This is a hilarious melding of two great things. Kelly Clarkson and Lucy Maud Montgomery.

In the 6th grade I made a marionette of Lucy Maud Montgomery and re-enacted the scene where Diana gets shit-faced on current wine.

Screw this, I'm going out tomorrow.

Good News Mom!

Well, there appears to be a scientific research done to support the notion that older women who drink 3 or more cups of coffee a day actually increase their memory.

I'd like to introduce those French researchers to my mother.

The women who discredits all of their research, single handedly.

Sigh.

I went to the Simpsons Movie website and loaded in a picture of me.

This is what was spit out.

I know certain people don't see the cultural necessity of The Simpsons....but I think it's pretty good.

Truro: Nova Scotia's London

Well, here we go.

It seems as though the mayor of Truro, Nova Scotia refused to vote in favour of raising the rainbow flag.

He 'rationalized' that if the council were in favour to raise the GLTB flag, then what was stopping pedophiles from asking to raise a flag.

Yep. He compared homosexuals with sexual deviants.

Here is an open letter to Mayor Bill Mills:

Dear Your Worship,

Hi. You don't know me, I'm from a town called London, Ontario in the Southwestern part of the province.

I recently saw your ruling over at CBC about your refusal to raise the rainbow flag in Truro.

I know I'm not a resident of Truro, but here in London we went through the same predicament with the gay community.

Our mayor, Diane Haskett felt the same way as you. She refused to vote for the flag to fly because of the same reason...religious beliefs and a fear of pedophiles.

And let me tell you...Mayor Haskett did pretty well for herself after that whole debacle. She went on to win another term in office and became know far and wide.

Now, yes the City of London became the first Canadian municipality to be brought before a human rights tribunal AND found guilty, but she did go on to a career in provincial politics...only to come in third behind the Green Party.

And it only cost the City a whopping $25,000 to fix her self-righteous and bigoted decree. That homeless shelter didn't need to be built immediately.

But I will have to ask you one thing. You said that if you granted permission to the gay community to fly their flag, you might be asked by the pedophilia community to do the same.

Ok, two things.

First, hasn't the insinuation of the GLTB community being sexual deviants been done? No one really takes it seriously anymore. How many more peer reviewed journals do you need before you get the facts? It's kind of annoying. And, frankly outdated. Get with the times. It's been done, over and over and over again. No one with an ounce of brain power really believes this anymore. And those who do are usually the same ones who believe every damn thing that Leviticus says (including the piece on wearing corrective lenses).

Second, are you some kind of bizarre freak who would actually consider declaring "Pedophile Day" in Truro? What kind of sick fuck are you? Anyone with a backbone or an ounce of common sense wouldn't do this. For Cripes sake. You're disgusting.

So, if I'm right London will be losing it's title of the only municipality who has been brought before a human rights tribunal and found guilty. But trust me, that's a title we're willing to give up.

Sincerely,

JR

Has Any One Heard This Song???

I was sitting in my car and listening to CBC Radio and they were talking about controversial songs.

The usual songs were there, Madonna's 'Like A Prayer' and Pearl Jam's 'Jeremy'...but then they started talking about a song called:

The Pill by Loretta Lynn.

Why haven't I heard this song before?? It kicks.

I found a copy on YouTube, but it's set to clips of women on 'General Hospital' in states of pregnancy, labour, pregnant troubles, etc.

But the song is amazing.



Here are the lyrics:

You wined me and dined me
When I was your girl
Promised if I'd be your wife
You'd show me the world
But all I've seen of this old world
Is a bed and a doctor bill
I'm tearin' down your brooder house
'Cause now I've got the pill
All these years I've stayed at home
While you had all your fun
And every year thats gone by
Another babys come
There's a gonna be some changes made
Right here on nursery hill
You've set this chicken your last time
'Cause now I've got the pill
This old maternity dress I've got
Is goin' in the garbage
The clothes I'm wearin' from now on
Won't take up so much yardage
Miniskirts, hot pants and a few little fancy frills
Yeah I'm makin' up for all those years
Since I've got the pill
I'm tired of all your crowin'
How you and your hens play
While holdin' a couple in my arms
Another's on the way
This chicken's done tore up her nest
And I'm ready to make a deal
And ya can't afford to turn it down
'Cause you know I've got the pill
This incubator is overused
Because you've kept it filled
The feelin' good comes easy now
Since I've got the pill
It's gettin' dark it's roostin' time
Tonight's too good to be real
Oh but daddy don't you worry none
'Cause mama's got the pill
Oh daddy don't you worry none
'Cause mama's got the pill


Loretta Lynn The Pill lyrics

P.S. Didn't Loretta have about 36 kids before she was 21?

An Experiment

Maggie at Rock the Park.

If I don't post in 24 hours, please send a seach party for me.

George Thoroughgood

The parents went to the event of the summer (for those who can stand classic rock) a couple of weeks ago, Rock The Park.

My camera was hijacked and taken to the park.

You'd think with my dad's skills he'd be able to take a better picture of George Thoroughgood.

But maybe it had more to do with the drunk youth who was humping him and Maggie from behind.

Fluffy

Don't you just want to jump on that?

<--

Dream Job

Balloon Holder.

This guy was being dragged so far by this ballon you could see sparks from the dead grass on his heals.

Dad's A Published Photog!

Recognize this photo? If you read the Sunday edition of the London Free Press, you should!

This photo was in the London Free Press, with an article about the woman's (a Freeps reporters) ride up in the balloon.

I'm not mentioning her name, because she neglected to give my dad props in the paper.

Saturday morning Dad dragged Annie, Papa and myself to Harris Park at 5:30AM to watch the balloons take off.

Once Annie had harrassed the Tim Horton's Staff...

Counter Help (to me): Would you like anything in your coffee?

Annie: I WOULD LIKE TIMBITS.

Jessie: Hehe. Milk, please.

Counter Help (to me): Would you like a straw for your juice?

Annie: I WANT CHOCOLATE, HONEY DIP AND SOUR CREAM GLAZED.

Jessie: Umm...no, we're good. Keep the change.

We were off to the park.

We stood around for a while and the first 2 balloons to be filled were a Canadian flag and maple leaf, and as always Dad was armed with his camera.

I'm guessing this woman picked the person with the flashiest camera, but she asked Dad to take a few snaps. I'm not sure if what she defined as a "few" meshed with Dad's interpretation. In any case, he sent her about 150 photos.

And, come Sunday morning, here's the result!

So, now he can officially call himself freelance, even though he didn't get paid or any credit.

Oh, well. He's enjoying cold margaritas in Monterrey, California, so I find it difficult to sympathize.

Where The Hell Have I Been?

Hello Again.

I've been away, and I can't really tell you why.

Well, I could, but that would mean you would know what my cycle is and I've been told by my sister that nobody needs to know that.

I disagree. I don't think my cycle should be a dirty secret.

I have been up to a few things, and I'll be able to share them momentarily...

In the mean time, enjoy the Darwin fish. I think of it everytime I see a Jesus fish.

I don't hate the Jesus fish, I just think that intelligent design is anything but.

For Andrea and Pascal...

In honour of Andrea and Pascal and The Simpsons moving coming out today...

What's the forecast for Brazil?

The temperature in Rio is....HOT HOT HOT with a 100% chance of PASSION.

"Pretty" People Falling Down

Ok, so I love model shows. America's Next Top Model, Canada's Next Top Model...very, very funny.

I think the reason I love these shows is the curing of hubris that assaults the "beautiful" girls...their self-doubt and shaky self esteem that they discover for the first time ever, on camera.

I know it's cruel, but it's reassuring since they always look so fucking sure of themselves. It's good to bring them down a few pegs.

As well, I think it's a bit retarded that we reward people for being genetic freaks. The one major reason I keep watching ANTM is because their models have yet to actual become top models...just a bunch of cute girls who get to watch their dreams disappear.

Ohhh, and "8th and Ocean". If you ever see that on TV, you must catch it. It's a show about a bunch of manic, low self esteem, young, stupid models living in an apartment complex together in Miami that constantly whine, "But in Idaho I was the prettiest girl in school!". Hahaha.

It's every average looking person's revenge. Nothing destroys their self esteem more than meeting another pretty person.

So enjoy this clip from Fashion Television. It's a little hard to take when you hear Jeanne Beker talk about how "...it's not so easy being a model."

Bullshit. It really is JUST walking.

Do you have to use your brain during modeling? No matter how much I love Tyra, she's not going to convince me it takes a lot of grey matter to "negotiate" the catwalk. If wisdom equals better modelling then 35 year old models would be the norm.

Anyway, to be honest I'm tired of the unfriendly model. I don't want you grinning like an idiot, just crack a smile now and then. That's the best part of the fall, when they actually morph from moving coat rack to actual human being.

Miss Me?

I know you did!

I've been away for a few days in Toronto, but I'm back now!

Hope you're ready for my updates!

Eek! The City of London Is All Gay-ified!

Well, if you haven't heard by now that the City of London has decided to make an official proclaimation for Gay Pride Week along with flying the rainbow flag at City Hall then I guess the homophobes haven't gotten to you yet.

After an over decade long ban on all proclaimations the City of London decided to do what it wouldn't in 1995, declare Pride in London.

For those you who don't remember, Diane "Parachute" Haskett refused to declare Gay Pride many moons ago because of personal religious beliefs. She (along with the City of London) were brought before a Human Rights Tribunal and found guilty. Since then the response of City Hall is to not declare ANYTHING. That's nice, isn't it?

Anyway, they decided that this year would be the year that they final start acknowledging that London does indeed have an active gay community. It's hard to ignore this community when the hatred towards them is as pronounced as it is in the city.

Well, as soon as they decided they were going to declare Pride the homophobes and homo-prejudice started coming out of the wood work.

And with them they brought along their tired-ass excuses.

Seriously, if I hear ONE MORE TIME the excuse of "Well, I'm just waiting for the day they declare Heterosexual Week" heads are going to roll.

Ok, here it is...I want everyone to listen.

EVERY WEEK IS HETEROSEXUAL WEEK.

The day that straight couples get beat with baseball bats and lead pipes in front of Jim Bob Ray's Bar while being called "breeders" is the day I'll ask for a Heterosexual Week.

I don't think it's too much to ask to give the gay community a week in which they can celebrate being themselves. Especially when the other 51 weeks out of the year it's fairly dangerous to do so, especially in London.

And I'm really sick and tired of people complaining about the blatant sexuality that is present during Pride, most notably during the Pride Parade.

Again, let's get our thinking caps on, shall we?

If you were told for pretty much your entire life that you were not allowed to hold hands with your partner, kiss, cuddle, throw an arm around or generally be affectionate in public would you maybe over compensate during the one week when it's not so taboo?

And really people, I think we're all just stick in the muds when it comes to sexuality. Calm yourselves, it's only glitter and spandex.

I see more disgusting displays at Masonville Mall in front of SilverCity. And those are the little 12 and 13 year olds...maybe we should be talking about our over sexualizing little girls? Nooooo, having underwire in a training bra is perfectly normal!

I will love, Love, LOVE the day when this city starts getting riled up about things that actually matter rather than spew homo-prejudice bullshit.

A New Classic Fairy Tale

My dad sent this to me, he thought I would appreciate it.

Maybe this one will turn into a bed time classic?

I'm serious. It really should.

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to you when you were little:

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issue on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said:

"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't fuckin think so.

The Most Hi Tech Tool You'll Ever Need.

Guess this got MacGyver out of some sticky situations.