Day 37: The Great Apartment Hunt

That big red dot! That's my place!

18th floor! Balcony over looking all of downtown!

Kitty corner from the JLC! 2 blocks from the Covent Garden Market!

Yea!

My Dream Come True!

Sadly, I recognized and guessed every Saved By The Bell reference in this 8 minute clip.

I heart A.C.

We Could Have Seen Carmen Electra's Boobs...

Carmen Electra To Star in Vegas Show

By Mark Gray

Originally posted Monday May 18, 2009 03:50 PM EDT

Carmen Electra Photo by: Alexander Tamargo / WireImage

With one Playboy centerfold set to headline a topless Vegas show, another one is following to guest star in her own risque act in Sin City.

A rep for Crazy Horse Paris, the a topless cabaret show at MGM Grand, tells PEOPLE that Carmen Electra has signed on to star in a week's worth of shows in July.

"She's not going topless, but she will be wearing very little. She's going to wear whatever she is comfortable with," the rep says.

Carmen will star in the show in July – the same time Holly Madison will be baring her bosom across the Strip in her own show.

"It is such an iconic show and I was in awe after seeing it for the first time," Electra says in statement. "The dancers and the performances are so sensual and sexy."

A cabaret-style show, Crazy Horse's Las Vegas production uses only dancers who have performed with famed Crazy Horse troupe in Paris, though they often get guest performers, such as Electra, to take the stage with them.

Idiots in Georgia Declare: We Have A Solution for Prostitution!

Prostitution is a touchy subject for anyone. But I think we can agree on a few items about the profession:

1. It is one of the most dangerous professions for women (and men) to be involved in

2. There is a very high demand for sex trade workers

3. The general public tends to vilify the sex trade worker, and forget that there was another party involved in the transaction

4. There are some women who work in the sex trade who lead productive, fulfilling and, yes surprisingly, healthy lives

5. Prostitution and the sex trade are never going away. Ever.

Now that we've decided on these five truths, let us continue to our irritating journey with this newest article that I stumbled across, "Georgia Man Offers Hookers Free Bus Tickets" http://www.wsbtv.com/news/19479789/detail.html.

The gist of the article is that local business owners (specifically a motor company) don't want prostitutes hanging around their upscale lot, getting customers.

Their solution to the problem is...wait for it...bus tickets out of town! Yes! This is awesome! Why aren't we all doing this? Oh, wait I know why we aren't all doing this- because it's a freaking ridiculous notion. THAT'S WHY.

Honest to god- who the hell thinks of this shit? Buy a few Greyhound bus tickets to Las Vegas where they think prostitution is legal and they get back their Mayberry-esque community to sell over priced cars and motor oil? Near the end of the article there are some doubts raised. Most vocally that these ladies of the night will return right back from where they came from.

I have to rant a little about the community involvement when it comes to prostitution and the sex trade in general. It's incredibly irritating to me when people get upset about prostitution and we never look at what the community's responsibility is. It's as if the majority of people believe that women in the sex trade are conniving together to figure out the best way to bring down the community. Yes, those evil women, they have nothing better to do but figure out how they can make real estate worth plummet and become public targets of disgust. Damn them!

However, let's just pretend that these women who are outside of this business are not trying to disrupt these ignorant a-holes' business, but instead trying to, um, stay alive? Maybe when they are out waiting to be picked up by the men of this community their perception of control is a bit different than these idiots who want to ship them to Las Vegas.

And while we're on the subject I have an alternative option for these business owners. Instead of shipping the prostitutes out, maybe we can ship out these disgusting guys (yes, their guys, and I'm not afraid to type it) out the state. How about that? What do you think about THAT? DOESN'T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE? GET RID OF THE MYSOGINISTIC MEN? GOD!

That being said, this community sounds like a frickin' nightmare, and if I was offered a Greyhound ticket to Las Vegas, I would totally take it.

Sidenote: Prostitution is illegal in Clarke County (where Las Vegas is), the morons buying the tickets are better off shipping people to Reno. Get your effing facts straight before you start doing stupid publicity stunts, it does nothing for your credibility of your half-baked ideas.

Happy Mother's Day!

Day 5: The Great Apartment Hunt

Day 5 of my search for a new dwelling and I've now come to the complete conclusion that the corporation that owns my current building is horrible.

I submitted my 60 days notice one week ago, and since my building has an inability to hold onto a superintendent for more than 4 months, it didn't get to the head office.

After quizzing the temporary caretaker who knew nothing, I called the head office. They hadn't received it (even though mail is supposed to be picked up daily). They were going to check it out, but if they couldn't find it then my 60 days would have to be re-submitted at the end of the month.

ARGH.

Last thing I need right now. I want out. Let me go. I can't stand the smell of pot, the vibration from the bass of my downstairs and next door neighbours' stereos, my next door neighbour's penchant to hammer what sounds like my walls, the parking lot fights, and the jerks who scream at their girlfriends.

Today I will find out for sure if they got my 60 days notice. Cross your fingers.

The Wheels Are Coming Off

Today is not a good day. Bad things happened.

One of them, is the announcement that the Wheels Inn in Chatham will be closing and turning into a Holiday Inn.

So sad. As a child (and as a grown woman) I have spent may a wonderful day in Chatham and some of my best hotel memories have to do with stays at the Wheels Inn.

I remember staying there with my grandparents, turning off all the lights and in our room, announcing that it was bedtime (yes, my oldest child tendencies emerging) and promptly face planting into the carpet as I tried to make my way to the bed.

I remember watching a screaming Annie zooming down the water slide (the one on the left!) with a look of such terror it is ingrained in my brain forever.

I remember the Wild Zone, the ball room and the home made photo albums that Mags and I made after a birthday weekend stay at the Wheels Inn when we turned 8 and 6 (or 7 and 5).

So sad. I'll miss the mini putt complete with the gorilla you putted the ball into at the 18th hole. I'll miss the smell of chlorine and the wonderful Chatham memories.

Maybe we should all take vacations to Chatham until July 1st just to show them how cool that little place is.

Day 1: The Great Apartment Hunt

Another day filled with apartment hunting.

I knew I had to get on it when I returned to my building after a brisk allergy afflicted walk and heard the insane screams of a man calling his beloved an "asshole" on my floor. Very supportive. After calling LPD dispatch, I started researching.

And so the hunt is on, although not fantastic. I believe I have inherited the worst of both my parents.

On one hand I have my mother's impulsivity (i.e. giving notice before securing housing) and then I have my father's need for extensive research (i.e. taking my sweet time before I commit to anything).

I don't like rushing. Ever. I'm totally against it. I like taking my time, weighing my options. Clearly, I am more aligned with my dad's incredibly long research period followed by a very thought out purchasing process.

I think I'm now understanding the irritation my dad must a felt (just a little at least) when my mother found her dream house and put in an offer without him getting to see the place first. Now, in all fairness the house is fantastic and I am gladly eating humble pie after initially hating the place.

But this next month is going to be difficult. I am going to have to go with my gut. Going with my gut instinct is not something I'm good at. I'm a Taurus. I like lists, I like plans, I like knowing in advance what I'm doing before I'm doing it. I dabbled with spontaneity before and ended up with a bra hanging out of my car door for five kilometers.

I might have some leads on a few different places...but what I know is that I will have to make a quick decision to get a place that I like. That along is getting the arrhythmia acting up.

So wish me luck, and for goddess' sake, if you hear of any decent 1 bedroom apartments in downtown, or old south London, be a friend and pass it along.

Tweeting Away...

In my attempt to become reconnected with the digital world I signed up for the ever popular "Twitter".

If you haven't heard of Twitter, it's a Facebook like website. Except the only thing that you do with this website is update your status.

At first glance, I thought it was a tad narcissistic. Constantly updating people on your every mood. Kind of pathetic.

I became fully annoyed with Twitter when last month Demi Moore, the actress from such thought provoking films as Striptease, GI Jane and The Scarlet Letter, apparently saved a suicidal woman via Twitter.

Twitter? Seriously? I think we need to calm down here. Demi Moore, while I'm sure she is dedicated to her craft, is no suicide interventionist. And while it is honorable to suggest someone "get some help", that hardly qualifies you for a Nobel Peace Prize.

The most irritating piece about this was where I read this story. On CNN's website.

Yes, I know CNN is not exactly the a fountain of thought provoking headlines, but I do find my way to their website from time to time.

Anyway, after falling out of love with Twitter, I am now back.

So if you're on Twitter, I'm Jessie000.

I'll be putting up my own narcissitic musings on exactly what I'm doing at the moment, and I hope you find it as interesting as all of my followers (yes, followers).

Moving Along...

Hello Blog Visitors…

You may have noticed (or perhaps you haven’t realized at all that I’ve neglected my sad little blog in months) that my blogging has come to a pretty horrifying stop as of February of this year.

I would love to say that I have a reason why I haven’t blogged. And if you press me enough I do have quite a few good ones:

1. I got my dream job, however I didn’t realize that the first 2 months of my dream job would test my will power on a daily basis

2. I slept a lot

So, basically 2 reasons why I haven’t blogged in a while. Tsk, tsk. That’s why I decided to go at it again giving you my unsolicited opinion on all things that irritate and inspire.

Yes, It's Been A While...Check This Out.

What A Surprise...

Virginity Pledge Doesn't Stop Sexual Activity

Washington (ECN) - A new study has found that a virginity pledge by teens does not stop sexual activity at all.

A new study was carried out by researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health to see if a virginity pledge was actually meaningful from a teen.

The pledge would mean they would not have sex until they were married.

They discovered though that over 50% of teens who made the pledge were sexually active before marriage.

There were no differences in sexual activity when comparing those who made the promises and those who did not.

Those who made the pledges were 10% less likely to take birth control precautions.

The study has been published in the journal Pediatrics.

What Does $1.41 Buy You?

It seems as though I was stiffed when I worked (ever so briefly) for Elections Canada this past Fall.

And I was reimbursed for what was mistakenly taken from me, and it totals to a whopping $1.41.

Seriously, I have a cheque made out to me, for $1.41.

So my question is: what can a person now buy with $1.41?

Just a question...

Here's what I can spend the cash on:

-Toll of the Port Authority from New York to New Jersey
- Gallon of gas in Ortonville, Michigan
- A Copy of "Let's Look At A Puddle" from the Christian Home School Online Book Store
- One portion of "Gabriel's Love Potion" from Keen Erotica

Good news is, according to the book "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices", 9 of the retailer's top 15 selling items are under $1.40. Hmmmmm. Perhaps this is an elaborate plan between Wal-Mart and Elections Canada to launder some cash...I wouldn't put it past them.

The Girl Effect

Heather Mallick's Interpretation of Sean Avery's "Sloppy Seconds" Description of his Ex

CAUTION: This post contains sexual references :-0

Alright, I was just reading Heather Mallick's recent piece on CBC about the whole Sean "Douchebag" Avery's disgusting remarks about his ex-girlfriend (and former Popular Mechanics for Kids host!) Elisha Cuthbert as "sloppy seconds".

I laughed out loud, because it seems as though Heather misinterpreted the meaning of "sloppy seconds".

Here's an excerpt:

Seconds on radio

I only mention this because I was on a CBC radio program last week called The Point, in which I and several men discussed, well, the point. Was hockey player Sean Avery punished excessively by the NHL for publicly referring to his ex-girlfriend as "sloppy seconds?"

I was warmed by the unity of the group. We agreed it was hypocritical in the NHL world, which is misogynist by nature, to ban Avery for six games. I even defended Avery, saying I didn't think his remark was extreme, especially compared to what this hopeless thug regularly says to players and female fans. The guy was just hurt, I said.

Done and dusted.

Flash forward to that evening. I read a kind message on my CBC e-mail from a woman listener who agrees with me about the Supreme Court's EI decision. Er, just between you and me, she wrote, you do realize that Avery's phrase refers to "a woman's vaginal opening being enlarged by having multiple sexual partners."

Huh?

I stormed (I really did) into the living room where my husband was sitting. "Stephen," I said. "Does 'sloppy seconds' mean 'a woman's vaginal opening being enlarged by having multiple sexual partners'?"

"No, I believe it refers to having sex with someone when there's semen in the vagina that is previous, so to speak…"

"Oh is it," I said. "And you let me tell a national radio audience that it was kind of sweet to refer to your ex that way?"

"What did you think it meant?"

"I THOUGHT IT MEANT CHRISTMAS DINNER LEFTOVERS! I THOUGHT IT MEANT TURKEY, MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY THE NEXT DAY! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT MEANT SEX PUDDLES?"

"But when you told me that you thought the Avery thing was a big overreaction, I just assumed you were being very liberated. As you usually are."

Here's a link to the whole article:

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/12/12/f-vp-mallick.html

Engineering Quote...

Sheldon: Engineering—where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa-Loompas of science.

~ The Big Bang Theory

Harper's Speech from the Throne A.K.A. "I Am A Prime Minister King"

I am the Canadian man of the hour,

using all legal means to retain my power,
to manage the great issues of the day
like shafting civil service and equity pay,
and keeping the separatists from the front bench
(or sovereignists as I call them in French),
to deal with the threatening socialist hordes
and keep for myself all patronage rewards.

Make no mistake (and I have made none)
it's time to invest -you'll make a ton!
Some may be worried about affairs of state
Me, I'm happy to just sit and wait!

Though it's time to build trust, and to take the
high road,
I considered my chances, and chose to prorogue!

It is, it is a glorious thing,
to be a laissez faire Prime Minister King!

Larry Kazdan

My Second Favourite Ani DiFranco Song

"Napoleon" is my second favourite Ani DiFranco song, right after "Gratitude".

She played it last Friday, and it was amazing!

I heard that the person she's talking about in the song is Madonna. The story I heard is that she wrote it in response to Madonna's request that she move from her independent label, Righteous Babe Records, to her label (at the time) Maverick Records...inneresting...

Song: Napoleon
Record: Dialate, Living In Clip, So Much Shouting So Much Laughter

they told you your music
could reach millions
that the choice was up to you
you told me they always
pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder
if you miss your old friends
once you've proven what you're worth
yeah i wonder
when you're a big star
will you miss the earth

and i know you would always want more
i know you would never be done
'cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

and the next time
that i saw you
you were larger than life
you came and you conquered
you were doing alright
you had an army
of suits behind you
and all you had to be was willing
and i said i still
make a pretty good living
you must make a killing
a killing

and i hope that you are happy
i hope at least you are having fun
'cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

now you think, so that is
the way it's gonna be
that's what this is all about
i think that that is
the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
yeah now that there's a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
'bout each one that took you for a ride

and i guess that you dialed my number
'cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree
i said baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me

everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

Ani's Song for Obama

A song for Obama...kind of cheese-tastic, but still cool.

Sigh. Stephen Needs Some Help.