"Pretty" People Falling Down

Ok, so I love model shows. America's Next Top Model, Canada's Next Top Model...very, very funny.

I think the reason I love these shows is the curing of hubris that assaults the "beautiful" girls...their self-doubt and shaky self esteem that they discover for the first time ever, on camera.

I know it's cruel, but it's reassuring since they always look so fucking sure of themselves. It's good to bring them down a few pegs.

As well, I think it's a bit retarded that we reward people for being genetic freaks. The one major reason I keep watching ANTM is because their models have yet to actual become top models...just a bunch of cute girls who get to watch their dreams disappear.

Ohhh, and "8th and Ocean". If you ever see that on TV, you must catch it. It's a show about a bunch of manic, low self esteem, young, stupid models living in an apartment complex together in Miami that constantly whine, "But in Idaho I was the prettiest girl in school!". Hahaha.

It's every average looking person's revenge. Nothing destroys their self esteem more than meeting another pretty person.

So enjoy this clip from Fashion Television. It's a little hard to take when you hear Jeanne Beker talk about how "...it's not so easy being a model."

Bullshit. It really is JUST walking.

Do you have to use your brain during modeling? No matter how much I love Tyra, she's not going to convince me it takes a lot of grey matter to "negotiate" the catwalk. If wisdom equals better modelling then 35 year old models would be the norm.

Anyway, to be honest I'm tired of the unfriendly model. I don't want you grinning like an idiot, just crack a smile now and then. That's the best part of the fall, when they actually morph from moving coat rack to actual human being.

Miss Me?

I know you did!

I've been away for a few days in Toronto, but I'm back now!

Hope you're ready for my updates!

Eek! The City of London Is All Gay-ified!

Well, if you haven't heard by now that the City of London has decided to make an official proclaimation for Gay Pride Week along with flying the rainbow flag at City Hall then I guess the homophobes haven't gotten to you yet.

After an over decade long ban on all proclaimations the City of London decided to do what it wouldn't in 1995, declare Pride in London.

For those you who don't remember, Diane "Parachute" Haskett refused to declare Gay Pride many moons ago because of personal religious beliefs. She (along with the City of London) were brought before a Human Rights Tribunal and found guilty. Since then the response of City Hall is to not declare ANYTHING. That's nice, isn't it?

Anyway, they decided that this year would be the year that they final start acknowledging that London does indeed have an active gay community. It's hard to ignore this community when the hatred towards them is as pronounced as it is in the city.

Well, as soon as they decided they were going to declare Pride the homophobes and homo-prejudice started coming out of the wood work.

And with them they brought along their tired-ass excuses.

Seriously, if I hear ONE MORE TIME the excuse of "Well, I'm just waiting for the day they declare Heterosexual Week" heads are going to roll.

Ok, here it is...I want everyone to listen.

EVERY WEEK IS HETEROSEXUAL WEEK.

The day that straight couples get beat with baseball bats and lead pipes in front of Jim Bob Ray's Bar while being called "breeders" is the day I'll ask for a Heterosexual Week.

I don't think it's too much to ask to give the gay community a week in which they can celebrate being themselves. Especially when the other 51 weeks out of the year it's fairly dangerous to do so, especially in London.

And I'm really sick and tired of people complaining about the blatant sexuality that is present during Pride, most notably during the Pride Parade.

Again, let's get our thinking caps on, shall we?

If you were told for pretty much your entire life that you were not allowed to hold hands with your partner, kiss, cuddle, throw an arm around or generally be affectionate in public would you maybe over compensate during the one week when it's not so taboo?

And really people, I think we're all just stick in the muds when it comes to sexuality. Calm yourselves, it's only glitter and spandex.

I see more disgusting displays at Masonville Mall in front of SilverCity. And those are the little 12 and 13 year olds...maybe we should be talking about our over sexualizing little girls? Nooooo, having underwire in a training bra is perfectly normal!

I will love, Love, LOVE the day when this city starts getting riled up about things that actually matter rather than spew homo-prejudice bullshit.

A New Classic Fairy Tale

My dad sent this to me, he thought I would appreciate it.

Maybe this one will turn into a bed time classic?

I'm serious. It really should.

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to you when you were little:

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issue on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said:

"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't fuckin think so.

The Most Hi Tech Tool You'll Ever Need.

Guess this got MacGyver out of some sticky situations.

Faith Hill is HUGE!

Faith Hill is going to be on the cover of Redbook...and the cover shot was taken from a photo shot done for a Jezabel Fashions (I don't even know what that is).

The kicker?

They totally photoshopped Faith.

Good thing, she's such fattie.

Big, Huge, AMAZING NEWS!

Mark your calendars.

November 19th, 2007 A.D.

This is the day that Jessie gets to hang out with one of her heroes...Naomi Klein.

Yes, you read that right. Naomi Klein.

Alan Leschied will be playing host to Naomi Klein when she comes to UWO for a book thing for her latest work, "The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism".

By now, I may have lost some readers...so let's back up.

Who exactly is Naomi Klein?

In short, she's a brillant woman. She's a journalist, writer, film maker, and intellectual.

And I get to have dinner with her.

She wrote a book called "No Logo: Taking Aim At Brand Bullies" in 2000. It was published shortly after the WTO summit in Seattle and was met with great excitement from those in the activist community. You say "No Logo" in a crowd and people instantly know what you're talking about. This is a book that changed MY life.

I was but a budding activist when the book dropped into my lap. At the time I wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen come fall of 2001, when I started my first year of university. Naomi Klein's book opened my eyes about some stuff I had never really thought about. If you haven't read this book, or even heard about it, you must go out RIGHT now and find out about it. If you don't get yourself a copy at least visit the website: www.nologo.org. I might even credit her book (partially) to the reason I majored in globalization (being the anti variety, not the pro).

It's a thought provoking piece on the branding that drives capitalism.

Sweet bliss.

Besides Naomi Klein's own accomplishments (and there are a lot) she's surrounded by amazing people.

She's married to Avi Lewis, who hosted "counterSpin" on CBC for a while, after a stint as the political analyst at MuchMusic (love him). And her mother-in-law is Michele Landsberg, an amazing feminist journalist (Toronto Star, Globe and Mail). And her father-in-law is STEPHEN LEWIS.

Maybe she can adopt me.

So, I get to hang out with her, have dinner with her and pelt her with my questions.

I'm so frigging excited.

Another Fantastic Cancelled TV Show

Here's another of my favourite shows.

Why is it that all my favourite shows are the cancelled ones?

"Arrested Development" was another show that was too smart for its time. And incredibly funny. You can find a whole bunch of its three seasons on YouTube.com - it's hilarious.

For those of you who don't know about this show it follows the story of an extremely hilarious family. There's no other word for them.

You can catch reruns on CBC at 5:00pm (I believe).

And even my Mom would like it. Even though one of the characters is an aspiring (yet horrible) magician.

I think I'm drawn to cancelled TV shows because I have a fear of commitment.

And here's a tribute to Season 2...because it's just damn funny.

And I need funny after today.

I was in Sarnia today, at the Bayside Mall. When did that place turn into such a hole? I remember going there as a young girl. Granted, it wasn't much then but it was at least a decent place to hang out. I wouldn't let my grandma hang out there now. It's filled with social services (way to marginalize all the poor in Sarnia Ministry of Social Services!) and crappy stores filled with useless shit that belongs in a landfill...but I guess the Bayside Mall is close enough.

Exciting!

Come back soon because I just may have some of the most exciting news ever.

Seriously.

It's gonna blow your MINDS.

Do You Have One?

Alright, so I've begun the process of gathering everything I ned for the big move.

And I'm in need of a couple of items...

If you have one of them and want to give it to me...that would be fabulous...

1. Pots and Pans (not old grubby ones)

2. Vacuum Cleaner (one that really sucks)

3. Kitchen Chairs

4. Futon Mattress

Soooo...if you have these items, I'd be happy to take them off your hands. For free, please.

Boycotting Chapters/Indigo/SmithBooks/Coles...Geez, How Many Book Stores Does One Company Own?

Alright, so you all know I love a good protest, even a literary one.

A few years ago I boycotted Chapters after they continually placed feminist magazines like Bitch, Ms. and Girlfriends in the "Mens" section of their magazine area. This happened after I spent a good 20 minutes searching for my favourite magazine and found it beside the Sport Illustated "Swim Suit Edition".


Yes, feminist response to pop culture and the most maturbated to magazine really do belong side by side. If only for the pure irony of it all. Argh.


So began my boycott of Chapters. I wrote letters, informed staff that this was disgusting as well as offensive and took my business elsewhere.


A few months later I was informed that the feminist magazines had moved and found themselves in the "Womens" section. Right next to Cosmo and Glamour. Small steps, people, small steps.


Well, it seems that there is another reason to start boycotting Chapters and all the boook stores owned by its conglomerate....


A few weeks ago the first boycott happened at the Chapters on Wellington Rd. in London, and a couple of weeks later they brought the protest to the Chapters in Masonville.


If anything this whole movement is interesting, especially now that Rabble.ca has joined the boycott.


The gist of the protest is that the major shareholders of this coporation have created a not for profit organization that helps Israeli soldiers get educated...and seeing as how Israel's occupation is a teensy bit brutal folks don't like spending money when the profit go to mowing down houses and killing.


Check out the below article explaining why they're boycotting Chapters/Indigo/SmithBooks/Coles/Etc...


If you're into the Middle East situation it's interesting enough...and really the last thing that Isreal needs is another Western force donating money or power to further any hostilities. That being said, it's not a one sided argument in the least.


But I will say that we can get into a lot of trouble if we bring conflict from the Middle East to Canada (Londoners will remember the "The Wall" incident at UWO a few years ago).


My suggestion is that we start talking about what's going on without coming to blows over a situation that's physically so far away.


But I will say that protest is the matrix for change, and that living in such an apathetic area such as SW Ontario makes me want to ruin some people's lawns and smash their stupid lawn gnomes. WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR PEOPLE TO START THINKING ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE WHEN IT COMES TO CONSUMPTION?


Sigh.


Maybe the Chapters protests won't work, but sitting around certainly won't help.



The book lounge joins boycott of Chapters/Indigo
Bound but not gagged


We at rabble have decided to join with Palestinian solidarity activists in their boycott of the Chapters/Indigo family of companies. As a result, we will no longer be publicizing events taking place at Chapters, Indigo, The World’s Biggest Bookstore, Coles, Smithbooks, and The Book Company.

The boycott aims to pressure Heather Reisman and Gerry Schwartz — the owners of the Chapters/Indigo group — to halt their financial backing of the HESEG Foundation for Lone Soldiers. Founded by Reisman and Schwartz in 2005, HESEG provides scholarships to former “lone soldiers” of the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF) who are pursuing post-secondary education. It has been commended by Israel’s former Minister of Defence, Shaul Mofaz, for “directly supporting the morale of the IDF.”

As their title suggests “lone soldiers” are non-Israeli individuals who volunteer to serve in the IDF. As IDF soldiers, they support an army that systematically oppresses Palestinian citizens by operating checkpoints, restricting Palestinian freedom of movement and enforcing the occupation of Palestinian land. The IDF has been found responsible by human-rights groups and Israeli courts for countless rights violations in the West Bank and Gaza including the unlawful killing, arbitrary detention, torture and assault of hundreds of Palestinians.

This boycott is being spearheaded by the Coalition Against Israeli Apartheid, the Coalition for Justice and Peace in Palestine, Palestinian and Jewish Unity and the Jewish Alliance Against the Occupation. The boycott is part of the larger International Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions Campaign, which is endorsed by 170 Palestinian Civil Society Organizations. —rabble book lounge staff

Funny Friday

Hey All,

I'm feeling shitty tonight and the one thing that usually makes me feel better is SNL.

Especially when they make fun of Oprah.

Google Turns Into Blackle

Ok, so this whole 'save the environment' kick that the mainstream has gotten on board with seems a little fishy to me. And the influx of the rich and famous espousing the merits of green power leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. I guess it's the arrogance that accompanies many of the pleas for reducing our collective carbon footprint.

It's a bit difficult to take in Leo, Madge, and Al's suggestions when it seems that they are huge contributors to the problem, and in some cases profiting from environmentally destructive behaviour.

But I do like it when people practice what they preach and at Google, they've done just that.

A few weeks ago some journalist wrote an article about the amount of energy that is drained by a white computer screen compared to a black computer screen.

In response Google has created 'Blackle'. Blackle works the same as Google, except it only drains 58 watts of energy when on the screen.

So next time you need to do a search try out:

www.blackle.com

You Know It

A House For My Uncle and Aunt In Australia

So I apparently am rubbing it in when I show a floor plan of my 650 foot apartment in Wortley Village when it comes to my cursed family in Australia.

Catherine and Colin are house hunting in Oz, which is about as easy as trying to understand the Australian accent, I'm told.

Keeping that in mind I took it upon myself to find them a house in Jerrabomberra. I'm trying not to giggle when I say that, but I find it funny that the name of their neighbourhood rhymes.

Here it is!

It's got 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and something called a 'rumpus room'.

It also has a pool. Because air conditioning is not something that is standard in Australian homes. Which I think, for a lack of a better and more politically correct word, is retarded. When I eventually go and visit I want to be comfortable.

The only draw back is the double garage. As I understand this means more potential for "'Roo Poo" droppings around the vehicle.

This whole package can be theirs for a measley $685,000.

Now before my lovely Auntie gives me a lecture on the responsiblity of home buying and the ridiculous-ness of this property I will say...um...get over it and get it. I want to stay in a fancy house in Jerrabomberra (more giggling) when I finally get to the bottom of the world.

Besides, I'm sure Colin could rake in a few extra bucks...he fixes helicopters...How many people know how to fix helicopters? All I'm say is maybe he forgets to screw in the last screw. And maybe that last screw is worth something to someone...all I'm saying...

Welcome to the The Real O.S.

Well, today I'm in Owen Sound touring around Huron, Bruce and Grey counties for RISE for Youth...as of today I've been to:

- Women's Shelter, Goderich

- Women Today of Huron, Goderich

- Bluewater Youth Centre, Goderich

- OPP, Goderich

- Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Kincardine

- Women's House, Kincardine

- Saugeen Native Drug and Alcohol Addiction Centre, Saugeen

Sigh.

Tomorrow I hit the women's shelter, CHOICES (addictions agency), Keystone (child and youth agency), Grey Bruce Sexual Assault Centre in Owen Sound and Ontario Works and Public Health Unit in Walkerton.

Then I will sleep long time.

So far, so good.

The most memorable stop? Bluewater Youth Centre...the jail for kids...seriously. I had to get clearence to get into the 'compound'. The security guard at the front had one arm and a claw arm. I kept wondering if one of the kids in the detention centre ripped it off trying to escape (jk). But, all in all very nice people.

Tomorrow is another day.

There Are Better Things To Get Worked Up Over...

...than these metal trees.

Seriously, if people in this city made as big a stink over the ridiculous rate of kids in the sex trade in London in this city as they do about those metal trees that were put downtown I would hear those two special words everyone in social services melt at: 'core funding'.

I think we all need to take a collective breath and realize a couple of things.

Firstly, tax dollars didn't pay for the trees. The Downtown Business Association did. So calm yourself.

Second, the downtown core can't really get any worse, don't you think? A bit of colour and (wait for it) art isn't going to hurt anyone.

Third, don't you people have better things to do than to write letters to the editor about some silly little metal trees? As a future resident of downtown area I don't really care. They're actually a nice addition to the garbage in the streets.

And finally, this is directed to the London Free Press. You people have published over TEN letters to the editor in your paper from people getting angry over metal trees. And yet, you can't publish my letter about a situation that is far more important and damaging to the downtown area...PIMPS.

Argh. You people will never listen.

My Floor Plan!

Ah, yes.

Here it is, all mine.

My BIG News! I Signed A Lease!

THIS IS MY BUILDING!

I signed the lease this afternoon for a 1 bedroom apartment in Wortley Village, 5 minutes from the Covent Garden Market!

Perfect!

Move in date is September 1st (a Saturday, Labour Day Weekend!)...so if you can help move me in...that would be great....beer and pizza at the end!

Ah...calm.

AH! Anxiety!

Oh, boy.

Exciting News...Tomorrow.

Ok everyone, tomorrow at this time I hope to be able to share some very exciting news with you all...I'm getting super excited about it and trying not to (because I am my father's daughter and therefore follow the rule 'if it's too good to be true, it probably is, and if so keep your expectations incredibly low, just in case. And don't make a big deal out of anything. Ever.') be overly excited until it's set in stone.

So come back tomorrow and hopefully I'll have some very good news to share.