Thursday, September 11, 2008
Still My Fave Fairy Tale (Rachel Would Really Like It!)
As well, I think that my little friend, Rachel, would actually love this story. I say this because the tiny senior kindergarten-er has a bizarre fascination with killing off the characters in her stories that she tells to anyone who will listen.
Note to her parents, tell her this story tonight (and makes sure she's wearing her favourite green t-shirt).
The fairy tale they should have read us when we were little girls...
Once upon a time in a land far away a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said "Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am.
And then my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother. Where you can prepare meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself...
I don't fucking think so.
Changes At VT
You may have noticed that I'm trying some stuff out here with the blog now that we've passed the two year period (and I have some time on my hands).
New templates and widgets may be popping up- and I would like to draw your attention towards the "Blog List" which is one of my favourites at the moment.
They're my favourite blogs out there (so far with many more to come) and they update as their authors do. I'm really loving "Feministing" right now. Its stuff on feminism and Sarah Palin are amazing and quite necessary as people seem to want to paste this label onto the govenor of Alaska. Quite frightening when you think about it- definitely check it out! It's mildly terrifying what people (and when I say people I mean 'men') are trying to create Palin to be. The video about Palin's inactivity surrounding Alaska's sky rocketing domestic violence rates (the clip talks about it being a real epidemic in the northern state) is pretty shocking. Her actions don't really read as 'feminist' even to the most loose definition.
Anyway- check it out along with the others (Five Blondes is a very good read as well!) and send me your faves.
Oh, and participate democratically on my blog! Ch-ch-check out the polls and get ready for Oct. 14th and stretch your voting muscles.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A Unique Experience?
Yes, last Sunday I entered my very first spa.
Not exactly something I saw myself doing- but kind of interesting.
Annie, Maggie, Gramma and I drove over the spa on Windermere.
It was very different stepping right in, and we started with colour selection for our PEDICURE. For me the selection was very easy. My favourite colour, the colour of my car and the colour of my political party was the first one I picked: orange.
For my family, it seemed more like a crisis. Choosing colours is not an easy thing for my sisters (or my gramma!) to do quickly. It was odd considering that most of the colours were just different shades of pink and red.
Before we knew it our spa people (what do you call someone who gives you a pedicure?) came up behind us. Each of them called out our name, and it was mildly reminisct of my childhood playground.
We were brought into the back and there were four seats that were very cushion-y. Strange...they were on a platform and this presented my first issue. How the hell do I get up there? First I had to take of my nasty flip flops...and I guess you'll first have to know about my philosophy about flip flops. I buy one pair a year (for about $20...the Airwalks are my favourite). And by the end of the summer (around this time) they are very odd looking and a bit rank. And considering that the ones I wore on this Sunday were the same ones I tromped around Australia with they are a bit weird looking. They have traveled over 30,000 kilometers, and they look it.
Anywho- I took those off (and praying that Yoanne didn't pick them up) and then had to figure out how to get up on the stair and in the comfy chair. After a little help, I got up there.
When we were all up, I had to test the water...and I did it with my hand. Big mistake. I guess you have to do this with your foot. Whatever. At least I didn't think the water was laced with Mr. Clean, as Annie thought.
So the pedicure started...and I'm realizing that someone is touching my FEET. It was bizarre.
And I had a lot of questions. Because as she started she opened up a sterile package of big metal tools. And those big metal tools were going straight for my size eleven wides...
My questions were along the lines of:
What is that?
What are you doing?
What's that for?
What am I smelling?
And my family was not kind.
Besides that, I had no idea what to do in the long silences. I would look over, and all three of them would be quiet or have eyes closed. How do you sleep when someone is messing with your feet? Anxiety begins for Jessie...
Meanwhile, my fear of kicking the poor woman because of my ticklish feet did not happen. Thank god. But when I did look over at Annie, she did have the jimmy legs...moving all over. Luckily, Marta (her pedicure-person) had a firm grip on her oddly shaped mini-feet (seriously, her toes are waaay stumpy).
About mid way through, Yoanne took a bag and put it on my foot. It was hot. I asked about 3 questions rapid fire. Turns out this was the wax I had heard about. Earlier that day Maggie and Annie had mentioned something about melted wax. And I was a touch concerned.
Me: They do what?!
I would love to know who thought of this little treatment with hot wax. How does that get discovered? Was it an accident? Who was the guinea pig for that? Someone still needs to explain the logic.
Well, this is what they do- they slip your foot into a bag filled with melted wax. An odd sensation really.
But when all was said and done, my feet were the cleanest they have been since grade 3.
And I think I actually might have liked it-just a little.
If anything, my toes are ready to vote NDP (that is if we get a candidate in this riding...).
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Jessie Orange-less In London North Centre
Ok, so I'm not feeling very well and wanted to cheer myself up...and naturally I would find out about our impending federal election (yea!).Imagine my surprise when I found out that I have NO candidate for NDP in my riding.
What the hell?!
This is ridiculous. I am livid. What is going on? Are you kidding me? Seriously? No NDP candidate in London North Centre? Out of about 120,000 people we have absolutely zero possibilities?
I can't even process this. What the heck am I supposed to do on October 14th? What? What?! Someone please tell me. And don't even suggest going blue or red.
I went through a bizarre pedicure to get my neglected toes coloured like an NDP (more on that later...and there is much more) and I have no candidate.
I could spoil my ballot...
So here I am hopped up on Benedryl and sneezing my head off and trying to understand why we have no one.
This is bullshit.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Maybe This Will Work For Maggie's Class?
Teacher rewards pupils with signed photos
A handsome teacher in China is offering pupils autographed photos of himself to encourage them to work harder.
Ji Feng, also vice principal of Zhiyuan Foreign Language Elementary School, is so popular among students that a lot of them were asking him for pictures.
"I came up with the idea of giving them my signed pictures as a reward," he told the Nanjing Morning Post.
Students who put in exemplary work can now pose for a picture with Ji who then signs the printed photograph.
Ji added: "It absolutely is not narcissism, but a way of encouragement. And only the students who perform the best can get such a reward."
Ji said three students had so far submitted work good enough for signed pictures - but he hoped to give out many more.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
It's Late, I'm exhausted and This Is Hilarious!
With all the who-ha about the upcoming US presidential election, this photo made me laugh.
I'm slightly befuddled at how the pregnant teen is dealing with her mom's bid for the VP position...the whole situation is definitely bizarre.
I wonder what the conversation was in the Palin family was last week before the announcement was made...
"Well family, I'm being named as John McCain's running mate."
"But Mom, I'm pregnant and 17 years old! Won't that be a problem? Won't people make horrible assumptions, jokes and parodied movie posters about me?"
"Oh, sure they will. But I've only been Governor of Alaska for 20 months and I'm currently under investigation for my ethics...when I am I going to get this opportunity again? Never. When will you get pregnant again? The chances are actually really good! To the campaign bus!"
Monday, August 18, 2008
My Musings...
It's been a while, but I've had a lot of time to think.I'm having a hard time finding a venue to disperse all of my recently acquired knowledge that I have gathered through teaching, driving, genocide education and the like.
So in no order of importance, these are the things that I have learned over the past couple of weeks:
1. If you hold a sign at Toronto's Lester B. Pearson International Airport that says "Genocide Summer Institute" you get one of the following:
a) strange looks
b) strangers coming up and talking to you
c) people asking, "You aren't promoting it are you?" and me saying, "Ha ha! (under my breath) That's original, you bastard."
d) deniers of the Armenian genocide challenging you
e) laughs (probably one of the most concerning...)
2. If there is a propane blast in Toronto that impedes traffic, you can bet your bottom dollar that Jessie will get caught in it.
3. If you're a radio DJ and you're telling listeners about a current event (you know, like a propane blast) get all the information first. And try not to say things like, "I don't know what's going on, but if you're in this area, get out now." Because when you do, Jessie's arrhythmia kicks in hard core.
4. Parking in the GTA is a bitch.
5. The beds at U of T are designed to ensure that you get the worst sleep possible, thus ensuring the perpetuation of snarly inhabitants of The Big Smoke.
6. David Emerson is a complete douche bag. Riddle me this asswipe: If the Olympics aren't political please explain to me what you, the Minister of FOREIGN AFFAIRS, attended the opening ceremonies??? Please explain that to me, because I'm at a loss why a POLITICIAN who is at a SPORTING EVENT and talks about CANADA-CHINA RELATIONS while he's there on official OLYMPIC business would say that.
7. Irwin Cotler is a Canadian hero, who also happens to have the softest hands of any person I've ever shaken hands with.
8. The book "Eat, Pray, Love" makes me want to vomit.
9. I have an unnatural addiction to Coldplay's newest album.
10. I think that even ugly kids are still cool, China.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Let's Get The Tiniest Kid We Know And Try This!
I can identify with the older sister. Standing by, freaking out because of the careless and wiry little sister.
Seriously dangerous...seriously hilarious.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Uh, WTF?
Ok, so I was curious about this move that Stephen Colbert made when he started having musical guests on his show. I figured he was doing the same thing as Jon Stewart, where on the daily show they've had a total of 3 musical guest (give or take) in the past eight years...Tom Waits, The White Stripes and Coldplay...not a bad line up.
Colbert started off with Canadian GODS, Rush. Awesome interview, excellent song (Tom SAWYER), Neil Peart drum solo (drool), and the next episode of The Report had Stephen waking up at the studio with Rush still playing (Ha ha! They have really, really long songs!).
Last night Crosby, Stills and Nash sang one of their protest songs (with Colbert dressed as the missing Neil Young, singing along).
But both of these performances book ended someone who just scared the shit out of me. And my fears were compounded when I readed The Huffington Post late yesterday.
Toby eff-ing Keith.
If you're not familiar with Keith, he a good ole boy country star. Likes his steaks thick, women submissive, and apparently his songs tinged with racism.
I thought that Colbert was going to rip him to shreds. But no. A bit of boot lickin' and a song was sung...I turned the channel.
And here's the song...highlighted with the SCARY part.
Well a man come on the 6 o'clock news
said somebody's been shot
somebody's been abused
somebody blew up a building
somebody stole a car
somebody got away
somebody didn't get to far yeah
they didn't get too far
Grandpappy told my pappy back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he'd done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street
For all the people to see
That Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune
And we'll all meet back at the local saloon
And we'll raise up our glasses against evil forces singing
whiskey for my men, beer for my horses
We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
too much corruption and crime in the streets
It's time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send 'em all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down
You can bet he'll set 'em down...
(courtesy of The Huffington Post)
GAH!
WTF?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Greening the Driveway
It's pretty cool!
http://www.frankejames.com/debate/?p=98
The Boycott Continues...
And the boycott continues...from my most reliable news source, PerezHilton.com:
-------
It's news like this that makes us happy we live in a FREE country.
According to new reports, China will censor the Internet used by the foreign media during the Olympics in Beijing.
This completely reverses the pledge the government had made to offer complete media freedom during the games.
Sun Weide, a spokesman for the organizing committee, said "During the Olympic Games we will provide sufficient access to the Internet for reporters."
He also added that journalists would not be able to access websites or any information connected to the Falungong spiritual movement, which is banned in China.
Weide added that some other sites would also be unavailable to journalists, but did not specify which ones.
Oh, and did we mention that the Chinese people have to deal with this every day? The same thing in Cuba.
Their government blocks out certain sites and restricts access to their people.
Craziness!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Time WASTERS!
I find this to be immensely satisfying.
If I worked in a post office I would be horribly unproductive...the bubble wrap would distract me!
Check out this website and pop some virtual bubble wrap, make sure it's on MANIC mode for the most enjoyable popping.
http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml
W00T!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
She Will SLAM DUNK You!
Check out this MASSIVE fight at last night's WNBA game, Detroit vs. L.A.
Will this make the Olympic bid for gold in Women's Basketball a bit tense?
Well, maybe now people will start watching the WNBA...
Check out a full clip at Perez Hilton...
http://perezhilton.com/2008-07-23-girls-gone-wildin-the-wnba
Monday, July 21, 2008
From The LondonCommons.net
I found this very interesting...
American Apparel's appeal to progressives?
Have you ever felt conflicted by the urge to support American Apparel's sweat-shop free practices and your reluctance to wear their gaudy clothes in public? I mean "Sweatshop-free" = good, and we always talk about voting with our dollars and supporting progressive companies right?
Well, don't worry about it. When you look a bit deeper, there's some pretty strong indications that American Apparel as a corporate entity isn't much more progressive then a rub-n-tug. By many accounts, AA's image is the fair labour and women's lib equivalent of a "Green Wash" (a "red wash" maybe?). Quite a few stories have popped up about allegations of American Apparel's union busting, degrading adds and the misogynist yuppie that runs it all... Google 'Dov Charney' and see what comes up. The guy is on his fifth sexual harassment lawsuit and his musing on domestic violence are interesting to say the least.
Don't take my word for it:
