Ahhh...

Ohhh

Seriously will never understand the Bay of Fundy. They should call it the Bay of Weird-y.

Very Rare.

Dad peeked out from behind his camera to pose awkwardly with his youngest.

Where The Hell Is The WATER?!

I sooo don't get the whole tide in, tide out thing. Tide is something I put in the washing machine.

Phew.

Water is back! Yippee!

POTATO!

Um. Yeah, potatoes.

Watch Out...She's Got A Camera And Kind Of Knows How To Use It

Grandma took this picture!

We kind of don't have tops to our heads, but we know they're there, so that's all that matters.

At least this was before the dancing.

I will never be able to listen to Three Dog Night's "Joy To The World" without giggling.

What's that on my dad's face?

This was what Dad did for the majority of the trip.

He was the Rodger family papparazzi.

He's very stealth.

Wanna find him? Just listen for the click, click, click, click.

Getting Her Drink On

I had no idea that Annie liked Whiskey Sours.

It's very sour.

You go girl.

We were off to a great start...

This is me on my birthday.

Why the long face?

The mean airport security made me throw out my full bottle of Aveda Curly De-Frizz because, apparently, they have something against those of us who are hair sensitive.

Screw you Ministry of Aviation.

You owe me $40. I don't care what the rules are. It was my fricking birthday.

Arse-holes.

Maggie's Baggage (The Literal Kind)

Maggie is crazy.

She was over packed. By a lot. Luckily, the VIA Rail people were very nice and let her box up her excess baggage.

We thought we would find it in London. Little did we know, we had to pick it up in Montreal, then in Toronto.

Look, Anne! Ireland!

I love my sister. She's very smart, very sweet and incredibly funny.

She thought she could see Ireland from Nova Scotia.

I don't care who you are, that place was creep.

OK, here's the bed and breakfast we stayed at in Yarmouth (it's spelt Yar-mouth, not Yar-mit).

It was very nice. But incredibly creepy. It was like staying in someones house. Oh yeah, that's because it was someone's house.

The people were very nice, very good food, very beautiful house (minus the creepy dolls everywhere).

And I'm all for supporting local economies. But seriously. I did not like it.

Sigh.

Peace Train...

I'm so proud of my little sister...fight the revolution!

Watch out...he's armed and dangerous!

This is my Papa at Fort Anne. For those of you who don't know Fort Anne is built in a valley. The hills were no match for Papa.

It was my birthday!

Ok, it's official. I'm old. And I love it.

I turned 25 on the 11th and had, what can only be described as a unique birthday (no complaints...yet).

I got a nifty new digital camera.

That's me, and in the corner is the light house on Peggy's Cove. You can't tell, because I'm so tough, but I'm freezing my ass off.

SHE GRADUATED! W00T!

Yea! Maggie graduated last weekend and it was FANTASTIC! She got a medal and everything.

The Landlord

Alright, Will Ferrell has made, quite possibly the funniest short video I've seen in a while.

Yes, it is a tad inappropriate, I'm wondering if Child Protection Services has been called yet.

However, I guarantee that if you watch this video, you will be rolling on the floor.

Literally. It crazy funny.

And you should all bear in mind that Annie was the one that introduced this to me. She's the worst influence.

Trees Do Too Much Work With Breezes

Sorry, Annie.

Remember when we raked the backyard last week and gathered up every freaking pine cone from that stupid fricking tree that Dad should have cut down?

Well, it seems the tree was laughing at us, because when I came back from Sarnia it had crapped all over the backyard.

Pinecones everywhere.

I hate trees.

And that's not even because Oprah said she loved them.

This Is Why She Is A Goddess...

Ok, this is why I L-O-V-E Alanis Morissette.

Check out her rendition of the ridiculous Black Eyed Peas song, "My Humps".

She brings a certain sophistication.

But to truly understand the genius of this cover, you must see the original FIRST:

Lamp Shade Dad

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Have A Happy Period? Screw You Always.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years,and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core orDri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach intight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings; kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse?" I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what some call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles in the George Foreman Grill because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that Canada is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending BS.

And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

It's So Clear Now

The two people in this picture are Jack Black and Kyle Gass. They make up the rock/comedy band, Tenacious D...I highly recommend.

I recommend even more highly now that my uncle educated me this weekend about the hand movement that Kyle is doing in the photo above.

Apparently this move was trademarked by Ronnie James Dio, they teeny tiny man I saw on Saturday night (more on that to come).

But the most exciting thing about finding out who this "Dio" is (according to the random people driving in 1992 Chevys, he "fucking rocks") understanding the song I've been confused about by Tenacious D for months...called "Dio".

Now I understand...

DIO

By Tenacious D

Dio has rocked for a long, long time, Now it's time for him to pass the torch. He has songs of wildebeests and angels,

He has soared on the wings of a demon.

It's time to pass the torch, You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you.

We're takin' you to a home, But we will sing a song about you.

And we will make sure that you're very well taken care of.

You'll tell us secrets that you've learned.

Raow! Your sauce will mix with ours, And we'll make a good goulash baby.

Dio, time to go! You must give your cape and scepter to me.

And a smaller one for KG.

Go! Go! Dio! Dio!

A Public Service

This Is Ronnie James Dio, for those of you who didn't know.

And he's ancient. And tiny.

And now that I know that he is the singer who replaced Ozzy Osborne for Black Sabbath so much makes sense...stay tuned.

I Love Her But...

Would you want this hurtling towards you and your brand new camera phone?

I barely had time to retreat.

This is Rachel Zoe. She's awesome, and probably the most adorable kid ever. Especially when she tells you that you're beautiful (unless you wear your hair in a ponytail, then unfortunately, you are no longer a girl - I believe 3 years old is when you start defining gender).

Rachel and I spent the weekend together and I learned a lot. Mainly what I learned was that I, indeed, do not want children.

She great, don't get me wrong. But she's very...busy.

I turned my back for 24.3 seconds and in that time she successful painted her entire arm in finger paint. A think coating. And cleaning her off was no walk in the park.

Speaking of which, she doesn't do that, walking in parks. After a solid 20 minutes of playing (consisting of me climbing around with her) she requests being carried home. And of course I oblige because I'm a sucker.

At the end of the weekend she pronounced to Annie (who left an hour after the parents did and returned 3 hours before they came back as to give the impression she was there the entire time) that she peed her pants over the weekend (2 times, both on me) and she "...wasn't sorry".

Nice.

Thanks Rachel. I had a great and exhausting time. Next time our parents go out for the weekend I'll need to get a B12 shot before coming over. Or I could just use your Epi-Pen junior.

Things Jessie Learned This Weekend With Rachel:

- She's adorable at 6AM

- She's not so adorable at 6:30AM when she tells you she's hungry

- Never believe her when she says "Trust me, Jessie"

- Her timidness about getting her hands dirty with finger paint is a ruse to lull you into complacency so she can lunge at you with tiny paint covered hands

- For the love of all that is holy, don't leave the house without Cheerios

- Watching the same movie over and over again is very soothing

- "The Land Before Time" movie has been ruined as it is on it's 15th sequel, somewhere Little Foot is weeping

- She's precious

- Dora is the devil

- Rachel's pretty

- When trying to feed Rachel, bacon always trumps fruit

- While bribes undermine the discipline her parents taught her...they work so well

- Any other small child is an instant new friend, even if the other child is afraid of the very forward Rachel

- Monkey bars are aptly named

- When travelling add on 60 minutes to accomodate for a child (they take very small steps)

- When travelling with a child you must realize they require you pack for an expedition-like excursion

- I love her

Jessie Rodger: News Media Savvy Pundit

Check it out! Shannon (the woman I'm towering over in the photo) and I were interviewed a couple of weeks ago by The Londoner newspaper...www.thelondoner.ca...

CITY LIVING: OUR CITY

Breaking the circle of youth exploitation
London program takes to the street to educate teens

By BEN BENEDICT, The Londoner

It's exploitation and it's happening in London. Whether by force, need or want there are young people in London trading their bodies for a variety of things like smokes, drugs or even food and shelter.
That's the message Western Area Youth Services (WAYS) wants you to hear because it may just be happening to your child.
Their information campaign is called RISE - Reduce Incidents of Sexual Exploitation for Youth - was initiated by Kim Hall, a youth worker with WAYS for 15 years, in response to what she was seeing on the streets of London. Funding comes from the provincial attorney-general's ministry and is aimed at young people in Grade 7 and up.
The program is entering a second phase, says WAYS project coordinator Jessie Rodger.
"This time the funding will run for 15 months not seven," Ms. Rodger says. "I was the student in the last phase. One of the things we found last time around was that as phase one ended, we were just beginning to make inroads. Time is something that is required to build trust and to allow people to open up. We're realistic in understanding that we need to go to them."
In her efforts to raise awareness this time out she will be assisted by Shannon Liddington, a youth outreach worker.
"My position was created so I can be in the community - in schools, at the Youth Action Centre and on the streets - so I'll be the face they'll see. I'm a child and youth worker and am sensitive to their needs," Ms. Liddington says. "Forming partnerships with leaders, caseworkers and in some cases parents will help build that bond. We're not pretending that we know what these youth are going through but we have the education and passion to help make a difference."
What's going on is a cultural shift that marginalizes and exploits more vulnerable youth where often, the youth themselves may become exploiters.
"When we introduced this idea of trading stuff for sex it wasn't seen as exploitive. There was a lot of minimalizing going on and an understanding that they were in control. But once we broke it down and talked about the legal aspects and consent it doesn't matter if they are under 18. Age of consent is 14 but if I give consent to an older adult (or another youth for that matter) in exchange for a pack of smokes it becomes illegal," Ms. Rodger says.
Liddington concurs. "By exploitation we mean any time anyone under the age of 18 was given anything like drugs, money, food or a place to stay in return for sexual favours. With the exchange of goods for sex it doesn't matter about age. It's also important to say that although we're dealing with street youth it is also happening in better class neighbourhoods because of children's free access to the internet. Our aim is to provide resources and provide our crisis number - 519-433-0334."
Their concern is back up by some very telling statistics.
"Only about 20 per cent of youth exploitation happens on the street. The other 80 per cent happens at home, school or clubs," Ms. Rodger says. "Another important element is that the statistics are about equal for what we found when we asked about the stats saying 75 per cent are girls and 25 per cent are boys. They are quick to respond that guys deny it more because of the social factors of being labelled gay. It's an added stigma for boys."
These numbers become even more telling in response to a survey conducted following phase one of the project.
"In London, following that last phase, we had talked to 300 youth from across London. We gave them all questionnaires and from that found that 20 per cent responded that they were being sexually exploited. We also asked if they knew others in their peer groups and 54 per cent said yes. In our experience, the numbers are under reported," Ms. Liddington adds.
It's something of which London youth are fully aware.
"We found in the first phase that by high school they were completely aware of the situation," Ms. Rodger says. "We found that prevention was easier than trying to get them to stop once they reached that point."
While youth on youth exploitation may seem like an easy way to get stuff, much of the exploitation is active in the form of grooming.
"With the grooming process it does take time. What will happen is the recruiter, who can be anyone, they will create a relationship whether romantic, platonic or economic - they'll start giving them things like drugs and a place to stay. They then get introduced to a new peer group and changing behaviours," Ms. Rodger says.
"At this point the individual becomes even more detached from the family unit," interjects Ms. Liddington.
"That's the point when parents, teachers and friends will start to notice that something is going on and will confront the young person and often not very effectively. The youth then returns to the recruiter and will be bated, meaning they'll either move out or run away and it is at this point when things begin to go down hill. It's the one thing about runaways that we found, kids who run away are at a higher risk of being exploited," Ms. Rodger says. "The youth often call it survival sex as a way of re-empowering themselves but it's important to remember that it is still abuse."
The largest barrier the two social workers have encountered is with those who need to hear the message most - parents.
"The only barrier we've had is with parents. Adults often want a warning sign. We have to tell them that there is no one sign and it's a number of things that put youth at risk. The number one sign is isolation and it can happen to anyone. If you are isolated you don't have any resources for help," Ms. Rodger says.
There are no single indicators for those exploiting others or those being exploited.
"What I think is important is that it's not a question that can be answered in a check box. It's a series of understanding and visual clues that indicate there may be at risk issues. It's that message that is important to bring to social workers and service providers," Ms. Liddington says.
Heather Miko-Kelly is the street-team leader for mindyourmind.ca and was the project coordinator for the first phase of the project. She offers this advice to parents.
"The best way not to engage in this is to build their self-esteem. It all comes back to having strong relationships in their life so they don't feel isolated and vulnerable," Ms. Miko-Kelly says.
Since the programs inception there has been a solid response from social workers within London.
"We've had an overwhelming response so far and are booked into April. The Children's Aid Society has been really open to having us come and speak. They're keen to hear about the program. WAYS and the city's group homes are also interested," Ms. Rodger says. "Front line workers are very open to talking about it and want to learn - it's not something that is taught in college. They definitely see and know that things are going on in London."

WANT MORE INFO?
For more information and resources about exploitation of young people, phone the WAYS crisis line 519-433-0334 or visit one of these London websites: Western Area Youth Services http://www.ways.on.ca/; Mind Your Mind http://www.mindyourmind.ca/; RISE (Reducing Incidents of Sexual Exploitation) www.myspace.com/riseforyouth

It's My Office!

Here it is!

I just got a new cell phone, and it has a camera so I took a photo-

Here's my office.

That's a huge map on the wall of the area that I cover. Next to it is my laptop, which I got after 5 weeks. And on the left is my filing cabinet that a bunch of UWO students from Saugeen (a.k.a. the Zoo) decorated.

It's nice!

RAFFI ROCKS

Ok, so we all know and L-O-V-E Raffi.

We grew up with him and sang all the classics.

And maybe Raffi's next career move doesn't seem so far off...he's just wanting to protect little ol' baby beluga in the deep blue sea. He swims so far and he swims so free...

Or does he?

Our beloved Baby Beluga is in trouble folks.

The culprit?

Global Warming.

And Raffi is striking back in his own way.

Nothing pisses me off more than when celebrities (and yes, Raffi definitely IS a celebrity) start talking politics...except when they do it through their art, which is what Raffi is doing.

Raffi just completed a song called "Cool It". And it rocks.

Check out the video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSn9KrK0peM

You won't be disappointed!

Besides that, Raffi's website kicks it.

http://www.raffinews.com/

Hold on "Baby Beluga" we're using "The Wheels On The Bus" to get "Down On Grandpa's Farm" so we can avoid polluting by "Riding On An Airplane" so we can go "Ha Ha This-A-Way" and eat some organically grown "Apples and Bananas".

Ok. Now I have to go and "Shake My Sillies Out". "Day-O" everyone.

Uh Oh

This article was just published on CBC this morning about group homes in Ontario...

Apparently there's loads of room for improvement...Yeah, no shit.

However, as someone whose office is located in a group home, and who works in social services, I must say that blaming service providers is the easy way out.

It would be much harder to blame inexperienced parents, addictions, systemic violence/discrimination or *gasp* the government shitty funding for kids in group homes having a higher rate of involvement in the justice system.

When kids get to group homes, the seeds have been planted already. If there were a bit more funding and a bit less shitty parenting I think that group homes could function quite nicely. As it is, these kids are handed a tough plate to deal with.

That being said, I have noticed more police officers around...

Kids call group homes "gateways" to jail
CBC

Almost half of Ontario's young offenders in detention for minor crimes came through the child welfare system, a report from the Office of Child and Family Service Advocacy shows.
The trend is a concern for child advocates across the country and Ontario Child Advocate Judy Finlay said many of the province's young people are beginning to think of group homes as "gateways to jail."
"We're taking them out of very difficult family circumstances, bringing them into state care and then we're charging them for their behaviour. It's very concerning to me," Finlay said.
The report, which was obtained by CBC News, lays much of the blame on group homes that rely too heavily on police to resolve problems that could be handled by staff.
Kids have been charged for everything from refusing to read a book or hitting someone with a tea towel, Finlay said.
One group home in Ontario called police 400 times in a single year.
Ontario is not the only province that needs to fix the system, the report says. A sampling of facilities across Canada found that 57 per cent of young offenders had a connection to the child welfare system, the report said. In British Columbia, a recent study put that number at 73 per cent.
While some teens acknowledge the more serious charges may be warranted, they complain that too often, staff lack the training to deal with troubled kids and resort to calling police.
One teen, who can't be named under federal law, said workers would often provoke him. After he was charged, group home workers had an easy way to threaten him by suggesting a breach of his bail or probation conditions would mean a return to a young offenders facility.
"They threaten you and say you better read that book or you're going back to jail. Come on, what kind of system is this?" the teen said.
Finlay is calling on the province to collect data on police calls from group homes and the charges that result. She also wants to see a mental health worker attached to each group home and higher standards for an industry that costs taxpayers more than $200 million a year.

It's A Girl!

Ok, here she is...isn't she beautiful???

I L-O-V-E her!!!!!

If you're lucky you can get a ride...but not if you're Maggie because she mocked my colour choice.

I'm already having nightmares (literally) that I'm crashing cars...luckily the cars in my dreams that I'm crashing are my parents and not mine.

TA DA!!!!

I BOUGHT IT

Yes folks, I bought a car, well, leased it anyway.

It's a 2007 Pontiac G5...and it's orange.

I L-O-V-E it.

I pick it up tomorrow and I'm terrified someone will hurt it already.

I ran around (my office at least) today trying to get auto insurance figured out.

It's going to cost me almost as much for insurance as for the car...but it will be worth it. That's what I'm telling myself.

I may have to live at home for a few extra months...but I'm lucky my parents like me.

No more bumming rides off of people (namely my mom... thanks mom!).

Now I need a name for it...I won't know until tomorrow if it's a boy or girl (I have to look under its hood).

I was thinking "Money Pit" or "Gas-zilla".

Sigh.

:-)

Hate Car Shopping

Seriously, why is this so annoying?

I understand that I'm going to pay a lot of money for a car (trust me, I understand). But does this merit you harassing me?

I enjoy the Saturn people, they don't try and annoy me too much. Except when it comes to financing. Back off.

The Toyota people are more annoying. The most annoying.

Leave me alone. I kind of hate you. Even if you offered to install an iPod Interface for "free".

When your manager came out and actually said to me: "What's it going to take to get you in this car?" I vomitted a little in my mouth. Especially because I said not 2 seconds before that I WAS NOT GOING TO BUY A CAR THAT DAY.

Do car salespeople not listen?

I have to drive this car for many years. I'm not going to run into this without checking everything out.

And guilting me with the "I'm one sale away from my quota today..." is complete bullshit.

I'm not so annoyed with the salespeople even. But with people who buy cars who like this shit. Who are these people? What is the matter with them? Why do they have to ruin car buying for people who don't need their ego stroked?

I hate you.

I don't have a car yet, but I will soon....argh.

I hate car shopping.

Too much money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Her Fave

Let it be known.

Rachel really can't tell the difference between Annie and Maggie.

Case in point this evening.

She can't tell them apart in a picture (Annie's picture on the fridge is often pointed to as "Maggie"), or on the phone (she interchanged Annie and Maggie a half dozen times tonight).

Ah.

Sorry women, you just have to live with the knowledge that she loves (not even likes, screw that) me.

And I'm her best friend.

And she said I was beautiful.

Not only does she have good taste, she's extremely smart.

And spare me the "well you still live at home that's why she showers you with love" speech. That doesn't work anymore. Besides that you both just left a couple of days ago and she pretty smart now. I think it's selective memory.

P.S. Maggie, you gave her your cough. I hope you're happy with yourself you baby sickeninger.

Getting Wheels

So because of the new job and the intense driving around I will be buying a car.

Am I excited about this? Yes and no.

I like to drive, the bus is slow and cold, but I like my money.

But unfortunately the decision was made for me, so last night Dad and I went to a few dealerships, drove a 2007 Ford Focus XZ5 (very nice), and I'm going out again Friday night...maybe Annie will come with???

When I get the beast, I'll let you know. And no, Maggie can't drive it.

I'm Getting Wheels

Alright, so because of a clarical snafu, I need a car for my new job.

It was supposed to be put in the job ad, but it wasn't. So imagine my surprise when I was told I couldn't use a company car (because of the grant specifics).

So, as I have to roam around Western Ontario I will be going to dealerships tomorrow with my Dad.

I don't know what's more painful, having to dole out the cash for a car, or having to deal with my Dad's high standards when it comes to purchasing a car.

Here's how it goes:

Me: I just want some wheels that won't break down.

Dad: What do you want?

Me: The cheapest thing that won't break down.

Dad: But what is it that you want in a car?

Me: Cheapness.

Dad: This is your escape! You're wheels! You have to think about what you want!

Me: I know what I want. To not spend a lot of money.

Dad: What do you want?

Me: Cheap. Wheels.

End Scene.

First Week Of Being A Grown Up

Alright, so last week was my first week at Western Area Youth Services as the Project Coordinator of RISE (Reducing Incidents of Sexual Exploitation) for Youth.

I have my own office, business cards and a whole lot to do.

My main job will be public education about sexual exploitation of youth...what that you ask?

Well, I'll tell you.

Sexual exploitation is when anyone trades anything with anyone under the age of 18 for any type of sexual favour.

Some people unwittingly call this youth or child prostitution. By law this is child abuse, so it should be treated as such, so don't call it prostitution. It's abuse and against the law.

You may think that this only happens in developing nations like Thailand, but the reality is it's happening more and more in Canada.

From experience I can say that this is a silent epidemic in Canada, London is running rampant with exploited young people. Sometimes their street kids, but there are just as many kids trading stuff for sex in the suburbs as downtown.

With this phase of the project I will be responsible for ten different counties...yes count 'em up:

Essex
Chatham-Kent
Lambton
Middlesex
Elgin
Oxford
Perth
Huron
Grey
Bruce

Yes, from Windsor to Owen Sound, I'm on the case to help exploited kids everywhere.

We've even got ourselves a MySpace page, check it out:

www.myspace.com/riseforyouth

Ants In Your Pants

Feet Still Hurting Me

Here we are at the creepiest building in Montreal, The Insectarium.

This was by far the weirdest and coolest exhibit there, those are ants walking across the branch...!

Le Stade

Can you tell my feet hurt?

Dad and I went to the Insectarium and Botanical Gardens on our last day in Montreal.

My feet felt as though they were going to fall off.

Then he asks me to climb on a frozen metal bench and pose for about 16 pictures.

This was the nearest I could get to a smile.

Sorry Sisters

When I was in Montreal I learned quite a bit.

I learned that the big sales happen the end of January, beginning of February...

And I'm talking big sales, 50% to 70% off.

Too bad it's totally lost on me.

First Week Down

Alright, so after a relaxing week in Montreal (a.k.a. the coldest place on Earth) it was time to get down to the business of having a real job.

When I was in Montreal I tootled around, got to know the Metro system, went to the Insectarium, Botanical Gardens, ate bagels, did some shopping, walked up and down St. Denis Street, explored Vieux Montreal, ate crepes, got locked out of Cathedrale de Notre Dame (could they tell that I don't go to church anymore?), got chillblains every night, ate smoked meat, walked around underground, spoke French, slept in, and went to the Biodome.

All in all a pretty good week with my Dad.

Above you will see a picture I took at the Rainforest portion of the Biodome of two monkeys grooming each other. I call them Annie and Maggie. I think it's fitting.

At the end of the week I decided that I could live in Montreal, but not in the Winter months.

"And some places you been before are so great that you don't ever mind going back. Some places you been before you don't ever want to go back, you know, like Montreal in the Winter."

~M. Freeman

Blog's Back Up

Alright, so after my Dad messed up my browser I couldn't access my blog, but rest assured he fixed the problem and we're back up and running.

Arrived!

Alrighty, Dad and I have arrived in Montreal!

We're at our hotel right beside McGill University.

Tomorrow the vacay begins! We took the train down this morning and had a nice ride in VIA 1!

Very different from what I'm used to, I'm used to travelling VIA regular like a mere peasant. I got a full breakfast and lunch. And booze!

It was packed and for a few hours we shared our four seater with a toddler. Luckily she didn't get annoying until the end.

Besides that there were some women who tried to mess with us and get us out of our four seater with the table. Screw you. We ain't moving. And we didn't. We sent them packing for the regular seats.

There was a slightly strange guy who shared the fourth seat with us in the four seater. A bit of a TMI (too much information) kind of person who wanted us to know he was tough despite looking like he was 120 lbs. soaking wet. As well, he sufficiently freaked us out when he listened to his CD player (yes, CD player) and sang his emo music.

Anywho, we got to Montreal safe and sound, tomorrow I venture out on the Metro!

What The Heck?

Ok, I'm flipping through the channels and I see my friend Oprah.

Normally I wouldn't stop, but today she's interviewing a Muslim woman. Interesting enough.

This woman is talking about her faith and the similarities to Christianity.

Then Oprah asks,

"Do Muslims believe in God?"


WTF? Are you kidding? Do you believe in God???

What the heck?

Argh.

I GOT THE JOB!

W00T!

So the big news is I got a full time grown up job!

Yes!

Starting February 5th I will be the Project Coordinator of the RISE (Reducing Incidents fo Sexual Exploitation) for Youth, the same project I helped create last year when I was a student at WAYS.

My job will include lots of public education surrounding young people in the sex trade (what people mistakingly call "youth prostitution"). And I'll be travelling all over Western Ontario!

As well, I'll be heading up the team creating new posters (the one on the left was what we created last year) and a video game.

Besides that, I get my own office, and I'm in the process of picking out a new laptop.

Best of all, this means (drum roll please) I'm moving out! I love my parents, but trust me, it's time.

Yea!

News!

Big, Big, BIG news!

Come back here for updates or visit:

http://www.mindyourmind.ca/mind-tools/play-stuff/sfs-quiz.htm

For a clue!

Run, Don't Walk.

Ok, so during my hiatus from blogging my fabulous parents gave my sisters and I an equally fabulous gift.

Dinner at Jump, a night at the Intercontinental in T.O. and...TICKETS TO SEE WICKED.

HOLY CRAP.

Now, I'm a fan of musical theatre, I don't find it odd or bizarre when people start bursting out into song, there's something reassuring about it. No matter what's going to happen, you know that someone is going to start singing a catchy tune in a minute or two.

Sigh. It was fantastic.

For those of you who aren't in the know about musical theatre Wicked is a fabulous musical that originally starred Kristen Chenoweth (of You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown) and Idina Menzel.

Menzel won the Tony for her performance as the Wicked Witch of the West in Wicked, and she's married to Taye Diggs. Sweet deal.

Anywho, Wicked is freaking amazing. It tells the story of the Witches of Oz. Let's just say that the age old stereotype of the ugly witch being the mean witch is broken. Beautiful!

So, if Wicked makes an appearance in your town, which it will. It's immense popularity means it will start touring North America a la Rent. Run and get tickets.

We were in second row (which I don't recommend for young children or people afraid of flying monkeys, like my mother), and it was FANTABULOUS.

Great music, very funny and an awesome message.

P.S. If you liked Rent you'll recognize Elphaba's voice, it's Maureen.

Back To Work!

Alright, so after some nice time off at home I, as well as Tracy, are back to our regularly scheduled lives.

Happily, Tracy was in London last week and had an angioplasty. It went well, the surgery, that is.

If you don't know this woman and are ever in charge of making sure she stays put long enough to recover, here are some tips:

1. Keep Her Hydrated: This is a helpful tip whenever anyone is in recovery, however, be warned of frequent trips to the bathroom.

2. Sugar Levels: I learned last week that your optimum sugar level should be at a 7. Let's just say she was working her way towards that figure.

3. Bruises: I don't know what it was with this woman, but she likes to show me her bruises. That was a little much. So if you're helping her out, please be warned that she might gross you out.

4. Keep Her Down: This woman has an uncontrollable urge to get up and try and help out. This is annoying. Keep her down. I did this by lacing her tea with a sedative.

5. When She Starts Getting Loud Take This As A Sign: Alright, when she starts talking loudly, making me uncomfortable, bringing up my career aspirations from my childhood I know that she's doing better.

Feel better!!! And stay off your feet!!!

Reasons I Love My Grandma

There are few people in the world that are like my grandma. In fact, I would dare to say that she is an original.

Here are some of the reasons that my grandma is like no other.

1. Two words: Class Act.

2. Extremely Clean: This could make some feel weird, but in her house it is very welcoming.

3. Great Memory: She doesn't forget anything. Anything.

4. Great Estimator: If you ever dare to watch "The Price Is Right" with my Grandma, be warned- she'll kick your butt.

5. Yummy Food: If you ever get to have food at my Grandma's house I strongly suggest trying the Frozen Raspberry Pie. And if you ever see her baking a Carrot Cake BACK OFF. It belongs to me (it really is amazing, it has pineapple in it).

6. Her smell: She smells good. Like peppermints and perfume. And a bit of cigarette smoke. And since smell is one of the most memorable things a person can have, it's very important.

7. Mental Stability: She has five kids, and trust me they could test the sanity of anyone. But somehow she is has kept it together. And for people who know her oldest three, she should be given a medal.

8. World Traveller: Alright, despite her admission that she likes to stay close to home, my Grandma has been everywhere. She's seen a lot.

9. Risk Taker: Many reasons to be a risk taker. She's travelled to Australia (very cool), held a koala (and those things can be as vicious as they are stupid). Also, see #7.

10. Zen Like Quality: She's married to a serial wanderer yet she always knows where my Papa is...It's like she has Grandma GPS.

11. She's Quick: Tonight my dear Grandmother tricked me. Told me she was going to Chicago, did I want to go? Yea! Totally! Why are you going Grandma?..."I've got tickets for Oprah."

12. She Can Be Evil: See #11.

All in all, she's cool.

And now she knows that when she crosses me, I will blog about her.

Shoveling The Day After Maggie Leaves

Ok, so everyone knows that here in London we had a green Christmas.

I didn't mind so much (Annie's complaining could be heard in Oxford County) because this meant no shoveling.

And when I was driving Maggie to the airport in the rain she commented on how funny it would be if it snowed enough the next day to have to shovel it from the driveway.

Wouldn't that be funny? Because she and Annie hadn't done any shoveling at all during their stay.

Well, the next day wouldn't you know I was out there shoveling. And cursing my sisters.

So thanks Mags, I appreciate your "help".

The one thought that consoles me is the knowledge that had the both of them been at home during any snow fall we ALL know that neither one of them would have picked up a shovel.

P.S. This is my 101st post on my blog! W00T!

Why I Dislike Oprah, Pt. 2

Ok, so I know I make enemies with my statements about Oprah, but seriously this woman is irritating me.

I can appreciate that she wants to unload her ridiculous amount of cash. Very admirable, since no one, and I mean no one, can ever deserve to make $1.5 billion dollars.

I can even appreciate that she sees a need in South Africa, you'd have to be blind and an idiot not to.

However, Oprah's gift tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Why is that? She's given $40 million dollars to create this school for girls, undeniably the most vulnerable population in Africa. To create true equality and to end the evergrowing AIDS epidemic gender inequality is the issue that holds this goal back.

Yet still, Oprah's "gift" makes me want to wash myself everytime I hear about it.

So let's break it down, shall we?

1. Selection Process: Let's start with the way Oprah chose the young girls who are going to her school. She picked the best and the brightest, the ones who were able to perform. The young girls who were living in the worst poverty, with the most violence or with the least bit of advantage were not chosen. Oprah (and presumably her team of experts) got to choose the smartest girls (with probably the best stories) to do what? Should I even type it? To make the best episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show". This playing God with these girls lives is a bit distasteful.

2. Re-colonization: Alright, this is an annoying item that seems to be happening on a daily basis in Africa now. One of the biggest problems with African state independence was that the countries that had so brutally colonized them in the past picked up and ran (not walked) back to Europe. They left Africa as a collection of countries who hadn't governed themselves in centuries. As a result, leaders like Amin, Mugabe and Kadaffi emerged. Now, the logical response would be that Africa has to learn how to govern themselves (with a hand up, not a hand out from the countries that destroyed their infrastructure). However, in today's messed up world of "saving" poor little Africans we seem to see to be re-colonizing them. African countries need to be providing health care, education and housing to their own. How do we do that? Well, it's not with rich Westerners coming in like a knight on a horse and telling poor Africans what they need. This drives me crazy. Having people with money do what they want in countries that are experiencing such severe poverty that they have lost their voice does not empower them. I don't disagree that these students should be going to school, but I do disagree with how people (namely, Oprah) go about doing this.

3. What about American high schools, Oprah?: Alright, so Oprah was recently asked why not give cash (in addition to) to schools in America. Her answer? Students are more interested in owning sneakers and iPods than getting a quality education. Um. Ok. Right, superficial desires cloud the minds of your nation's youth. Absolutely. They have unrealistic expectations of what they need, what they deserve, what is necessary. There is an increasing sense of entitlement and selfish- Oh, wait, hey Oprah, when's your "Favourite Things" episode airing again? What's that? Next Fall? Ok. Where was I? Right, selfishness and arrogance- wait a second, hey Oprah, when are you going to give away "free" cars to needy people in an attempt to turn your entire show into a commerical for GM again? Uh huh, ok. Where was I again? Oh yes! How dare the youth of America feel like they deserve extravagant luxury, where would they get an idea like that? Ridiculous.

4. The Oprah Winfrey Academy: Ok, she named the freaking school after herself. I understand that $40 million is a lot of money, but how does this empower the community? How does this allow the community to take responsibility of the school? What's that Oprah? Better ratings, you say?

5. Are the makeovers necessary?: Alright, I can appreciate the dorms, the indoor plumbing, the gym and labs. But what's the connection between all of this and including a beauty parlour in your school? What the hell?

6. A star studded premiere: Why was Mariah Carey at the opening? To inject her dosage of crazy into the school? To scare the children? Please someone explain to me, without fawning over Winfrey like she's the second coming.

7. Oprah Fear: Oprah fear is running rampant. Apparently if you give away a small portion of your fortune (that you will surely make back with all the advertising and the funds you make from selling your soul) and mention at any available point that Maya Angelou is your close friend no one will look at you objectively. What the hell is this about? If you're going to have over 1 billion dollars you're going to have to be a bit responsible with how you spend that money.

I feel better now.

She's Frickin' Hilarious

Ok, so I know that Annie is going to hitch hike back to London to give me the beats for posting this darling photo, but she hassled me so much about no updates, she deserves this.

"My legs are so hairy they don't feel hairy anymore."

~Annie Rodger

The Miracle of Hanukkah According to My Littlest Sister

Alright, so you all know that Annie is one of the smartest and funniest women around. But, did you also know that Annie is a Jewish scholar? Me neither.

Which was why I was so surprised to hear that she understood the story of Hannukkah.

According to the Hasidic expert herself, Hannukkah is the celebration of when the Angel Gabriel came down from Heaven (yes, Heaven) to tell the Jews that Mary was pregnant with Jesus.

Yeah. I thought the same thing.

But we'll ignore that thought and remember that she's Annie. And we love her. Even when she tries to re-writes two millennias of history.

They Came, They Bellowed, They Left

Oh, my little sisters came home for the holidays and it was a treat!

Annie moved all her contents of her dorm room home, including her feather duvet.

Maggie brought home her huge duffel bag with wheels including her abused laptop. Everytime she threw it on the couch I think our Dad died a little on the inside.

Apart from that Maggie did get to take over the office and turned it into her bedroom. I think the only thing stopping our Dad from throwing her out fo the office was the fact that had he fixed the hole in the drywall down in the dungeon he would have been rid of her.

We had a great couple of weeks, and we got to keep them both for a few days more.

It was great! Except for the fact that Maggie was doubled over the toilet and Annie had to stay behind because she couldn't take a deep breath without using her inhaler.

But it was great for me.

A Word About Blogging

Ok, I know it's been more than a month since I've blogged, but let me remind you why I blog.

Because I'm alone.

During the holidays I'm not alone. It would be nice if people could be happy that I'm not on the computer writing about things that tick me off.

So be pleased that now I'm alone and am back to blogging.

P.S. I really don't appreciate the physical threats, Annie.