Thursday, October 02, 2008

Courtesy of My Dad


Don't forget the debate is on tonight!



Post Turtle --

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.

The old rancher said, ' Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.'

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, ' When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle.'

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain.

"You know, she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."

Courtesy of Annie

We all know how much she loves her Disney flicks, here's another one...although I'm not sure if this is family friendly. More like terrifying, and vomit-inducing.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Stewart On Palin

I have been trying to find a place where I could see this clip that everyone's been talking about for the past two weeks.

And it's brilliant. Truly, it shows what a douchebag Karl Rove and his cronies are.

Sexism is alive and well...lets see how the rest of their circus goes...


Please Don't Pass The Nuts Blog


Ch-ch-check out the new fave blog, "Please Don't Pass The Nuts".

Whiskey sours aren't exactly the most nutritious, but better than Annie's long list of allergens.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Reba McEntire : The Original Video Goddess





Mom, Annie and I were in the car yesterday when I recalled a video done by Reba McEntire. It was probably the most memorable video she ever made for me, and that's considering how fantastically cheesy they usually are.

I promised Annie I would search for the video and post it in all it's cheese glory.

Unfortunately the people who posted this gem have disabled the embedding option, so instead I give you a link to see Reba McEntire's "Is There Life Out There".

I wonder why I love this video so much. I have no clue.

All I know is that the concept is vaguely familiar (i.e. mom goes back to university), but that's where the similarities end.

I've always had a soft spot for music videos with dialogue in them, and we have Ms. Pat Benetar to thank for that, I believe.

Couple all this with Reba's fabulously frizzy red hair and it's a gem. Really all her videos are amazing, I'm sure I'll be posting those soon.

So, pleasepleaseplease check out the link- it will not disappoint. We need more music videos with story/dialogue/message/crotchety old man/etc.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7Bd3y_Ip4Q

p.s. Check out the above tiny pictures. The depict the scenes where Reba screams at her video daughter for spilling coffee on her essay, prompting Reba to state after getting the paper back "I think I learned more from the stain." *sniff*sniff*

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Quiverfull Makes Me Quiver, And Not In A Good Way

Alright, have we heard about this movement? This was just brought to my attention today and I have to say I'm oddly fascinated and terrified at the same time.

Quiverfull essentially means that when two people (man and woman) are married then no birth control (Pill, condom, rhythm method, NOTHING) may be used. Have as many children as you have, each is a blessing, each is from God, etc., etc.

And it seems that this is catching on, in some areas of the world. Most notably in the US and now in Canada.

Hey, if you want to have tons of babies, by all means, go and procreate. It's really no skin off my nose.

However, please don't tell me that if you have 12 children you'll be able to spend as much quality time together. Or that you'll all be happy all the time. Let's be real. When you have a gaggle of babies (just as if you would only have one or none) nothing is perfect. I think this is the part that drives me the most insane. That everything is wonderful, everything is perfect, nothing is ever difficult and sleep is readily available.

For me, I find the most interesting conversation to be about this idea that more and more women are choosing (and in some cases I would use the word 'choose' loosely) this type of family planning.

The idea of a woman essentially being a vessel is a hard idea for me to accept, even if this is what they want. Call me a snob- but I am completely obsessed to know what the personal identity of those women are. Apart from the labels of 'mother' and 'wife', I wonder what they would classify themselves. I would love to pick apart their brain, although I imagine myself say "No, but really, what is your personal identity- without the kids. Because eventually the kids will leave and I want to know what you do for yourself. So tell me."

Then I stumbled over an article that spoke about Andrea Yates. If you don't remember her I'll jog your memory. She was the mother who drowned all five of her young children in the bathtub when her husband was at work. After she was arrested and found that post-partum depression played a large role even more evidence rolled in. According to reports, a couple of days previous to the horrifying deaths of the five Yates children, Andrea started to get pamphlets and visits from her Quiverfull-devoted church. And these visits were not the "how's it going" variety. It seems that people had heard about Andrea's desire to stop having babies and unhappiness with her role as mama.

Hm. Hopefully the lack of support was kept in mind when she was punished (which was deserved).

And then there's the fascination that media has, and in turn a large population of us. Television shows and specials are being massed produced (Duggars anyone?). And the ratings are fantastic. Which is good for them, feeding a brood of 13 children gets expensive. However I had seen some families be very resourceful with saving money (Tater Tots, making clothes, diapers and using all that free manual labour).

I may sound self-righteous about this, but I think my concerns are valid. Couple this with the fact that roles in the families are straight out of Leave It To Beaver (girls are in charge of cooking and sewing, boys in charge of outside maintenance), we should all be talking about this change in family makeup.

But again, I will stress that my mantra "My uterus, my decision, so keep your theology off my biology" swings both ways. So while I have warranted concerns, if the Duggars want to usher in baby number 20 after number 19 is born in January- by all means go for it. *Jessie shudders for Mrs. Duggar's vagina*

I Don't Even Like His Flicks

I'm not a huge Matt Damon fan (although I do believe that I wore out a copy of "Good Will Hunting" on VHS when I was in high school), but I have to say that since this video has been making the rounds, I'm changing my mind about him.

Apparently, Matt Damon is the most bankable star, meaning that his return at the box office when compared to what he makes is the best.

Now I can see why. You may have already seen this short clip of Matty talking about his concern about Sarah Palin, but you should watch again.

I'm not too hot on celebs who spout off about politics, but I am really feeling this one (coincidentally we kind of agree).

His dreamy.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Spelling Bee Fainter

Ok, so, um, what the hell?
The poor kid! And why do they let him go on? And why do they let him just sit down afterward? Shouldn't they check him out? It is not normal to faint.

Still My Fave Fairy Tale (Rachel Would Really Like It!)


My dad sent this story to me a while ago and I believe he was being a bit of a shit disturber when he did. But it's so lovely.

As well, I think that my little friend, Rachel, would actually love this story. I say this because the tiny senior kindergarten-er has a bizarre fascination with killing off the characters in her stories that she tells to anyone who will listen.

Note to her parents, tell her this story tonight (and makes sure she's wearing her favourite green t-shirt).

The fairy tale they should have read us when we were little girls...

Once upon a time in a land far away a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said "Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am.

And then my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother. Where you can prepare meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself...

I don't fucking think so.

Changes At VT


You may have noticed that I'm trying some stuff out here with the blog now that we've passed the two year period (and I have some time on my hands).

New templates and widgets may be popping up- and I would like to draw your attention towards the "Blog List" which is one of my favourites at the moment.

They're my favourite blogs out there (so far with many more to come) and they update as their authors do. I'm really loving "Feministing" right now. Its stuff on feminism and Sarah Palin are amazing and quite necessary as people seem to want to paste this label onto the govenor of Alaska. Quite frightening when you think about it- definitely check it out! It's mildly terrifying what people (and when I say people I mean 'men') are trying to create Palin to be. The video about Palin's inactivity surrounding Alaska's sky rocketing domestic violence rates (the clip talks about it being a real epidemic in the northern state) is pretty shocking. Her actions don't really read as 'feminist' even to the most loose definition.

Anyway- check it out along with the others (Five Blondes is a very good read as well!) and send me your faves.

Oh, and participate democratically on my blog! Ch-ch-check out the polls and get ready for Oct. 14th and stretch your voting muscles.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Unique Experience?


Yes, last Sunday I entered my very first spa.

Not exactly something I saw myself doing- but kind of interesting.

Annie, Maggie, Gramma and I drove over the spa on Windermere.

It was very different stepping right in, and we started with colour selection for our PEDICURE. For me the selection was very easy. My favourite colour, the colour of my car and the colour of my political party was the first one I picked: orange.

For my family, it seemed more like a crisis. Choosing colours is not an easy thing for my sisters (or my gramma!) to do quickly. It was odd considering that most of the colours were just different shades of pink and red.

Before we knew it our spa people (what do you call someone who gives you a pedicure?) came up behind us. Each of them called out our name, and it was mildly reminisct of my childhood playground.

We were brought into the back and there were four seats that were very cushion-y. Strange...they were on a platform and this presented my first issue. How the hell do I get up there? First I had to take of my nasty flip flops...and I guess you'll first have to know about my philosophy about flip flops. I buy one pair a year (for about $20...the Airwalks are my favourite). And by the end of the summer (around this time) they are very odd looking and a bit rank. And considering that the ones I wore on this Sunday were the same ones I tromped around Australia with they are a bit weird looking. They have traveled over 30,000 kilometers, and they look it.

Anywho- I took those off (and praying that Yoanne didn't pick them up) and then had to figure out how to get up on the stair and in the comfy chair. After a little help, I got up there.

When we were all up, I had to test the water...and I did it with my hand. Big mistake. I guess you have to do this with your foot. Whatever. At least I didn't think the water was laced with Mr. Clean, as Annie thought.

So the pedicure started...and I'm realizing that someone is touching my FEET. It was bizarre.

And I had a lot of questions. Because as she started she opened up a sterile package of big metal tools. And those big metal tools were going straight for my size eleven wides...

My questions were along the lines of:

What is that?
What are you doing?
What's that for?
What am I smelling?

And my family was not kind.

Besides that, I had no idea what to do in the long silences. I would look over, and all three of them would be quiet or have eyes closed. How do you sleep when someone is messing with your feet? Anxiety begins for Jessie...

Meanwhile, my fear of kicking the poor woman because of my ticklish feet did not happen. Thank god. But when I did look over at Annie, she did have the jimmy legs...moving all over. Luckily, Marta (her pedicure-person) had a firm grip on her oddly shaped mini-feet (seriously, her toes are waaay stumpy).

About mid way through, Yoanne took a bag and put it on my foot. It was hot. I asked about 3 questions rapid fire. Turns out this was the wax I had heard about. Earlier that day Maggie and Annie had mentioned something about melted wax. And I was a touch concerned.

Me: They do what?!

I would love to know who thought of this little treatment with hot wax. How does that get discovered? Was it an accident? Who was the guinea pig for that? Someone still needs to explain the logic.

Well, this is what they do- they slip your foot into a bag filled with melted wax. An odd sensation really.

But when all was said and done, my feet were the cleanest they have been since grade 3.

And I think I actually might have liked it-just a little.

If anything, my toes are ready to vote NDP (that is if we get a candidate in this riding...).

Pretty Song

You must listen to this song, "Today" by Joshua Radin. So nice.

In Reference To The Last Post...

The answer is an emphatic no.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Jessie Orange-less In London North Centre

Ok, so I'm not feeling very well and wanted to cheer myself up...and naturally I would find out about our impending federal election (yea!).

Imagine my surprise when I found out that I have NO candidate for NDP in my riding.

What the hell?!

This is ridiculous. I am livid. What is going on? Are you kidding me? Seriously? No NDP candidate in London North Centre? Out of about 120,000 people we have absolutely zero possibilities?

I can't even process this. What the heck am I supposed to do on October 14th? What? What?! Someone please tell me. And don't even suggest going blue or red.

I went through a bizarre pedicure to get my neglected toes coloured like an NDP (more on that later...and there is much more) and I have no candidate.

I could spoil my ballot...

So here I am hopped up on Benedryl and sneezing my head off and trying to understand why we have no one.

This is bullshit.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Getting Barack'd Rolled

Maybe This Will Work For Maggie's Class?


Teacher rewards pupils with signed photos

A handsome teacher in China is offering pupils autographed photos of himself to encourage them to work harder.

Ji Feng, also vice principal of Zhiyuan Foreign Language Elementary School, is so popular among students that a lot of them were asking him for pictures.

"I came up with the idea of giving them my signed pictures as a reward," he told the Nanjing Morning Post.

Students who put in exemplary work can now pose for a picture with Ji who then signs the printed photograph.

Ji added: "It absolutely is not narcissism, but a way of encouragement. And only the students who perform the best can get such a reward."

Ji said three students had so far submitted work good enough for signed pictures - but he hoped to give out many more.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

It's Late, I'm exhausted and This Is Hilarious!


With all the who-ha about the upcoming US presidential election, this photo made me laugh.

I'm slightly befuddled at how the pregnant teen is dealing with her mom's bid for the VP position...the whole situation is definitely bizarre.

I wonder what the conversation was in the Palin family was last week before the announcement was made...

"Well family, I'm being named as John McCain's running mate."

"But Mom, I'm pregnant and 17 years old! Won't that be a problem? Won't people make horrible assumptions, jokes and parodied movie posters about me?"

"Oh, sure they will. But I've only been Governor of Alaska for 20 months and I'm currently under investigation for my ethics...when I am I going to get this opportunity again? Never. When will you get pregnant again? The chances are actually really good! To the campaign bus!"

Monday, August 18, 2008

My Musings...

It's been a while, but I've had a lot of time to think.

I'm having a hard time finding a venue to disperse all of my recently acquired knowledge that I have gathered through teaching, driving, genocide education and the like.

So in no order of importance, these are the things that I have learned over the past couple of weeks:

1. If you hold a sign at Toronto's Lester B. Pearson International Airport that says "Genocide Summer Institute" you get one of the following:
a) strange looks
b) strangers coming up and talking to you
c) people asking, "You aren't promoting it are you?" and me saying, "Ha ha! (under my breath) That's original, you bastard."
d) deniers of the Armenian genocide challenging you
e) laughs (probably one of the most concerning...)

2. If there is a propane blast in Toronto that impedes traffic, you can bet your bottom dollar that Jessie will get caught in it.

3. If you're a radio DJ and you're telling listeners about a current event (you know, like a propane blast) get all the information first. And try not to say things like, "I don't know what's going on, but if you're in this area, get out now." Because when you do, Jessie's arrhythmia kicks in hard core.

4. Parking in the GTA is a bitch.

5. The beds at U of T are designed to ensure that you get the worst sleep possible, thus ensuring the perpetuation of snarly inhabitants of The Big Smoke.

6. David Emerson is a complete douche bag. Riddle me this asswipe: If the Olympics aren't political please explain to me what you, the Minister of FOREIGN AFFAIRS, attended the opening ceremonies??? Please explain that to me, because I'm at a loss why a POLITICIAN who is at a SPORTING EVENT and talks about CANADA-CHINA RELATIONS while he's there on official OLYMPIC business would say that.

7. Irwin Cotler is a Canadian hero, who also happens to have the softest hands of any person I've ever shaken hands with.

8. The book "Eat, Pray, Love" makes me want to vomit.

9. I have an unnatural addiction to Coldplay's newest album.

10. I think that even ugly kids are still cool, China.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Let's Get The Tiniest Kid We Know And Try This!



I can identify with the older sister. Standing by, freaking out because of the careless and wiry little sister.

Seriously dangerous...seriously hilarious.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Uh, WTF?



Ok, so I was curious about this move that Stephen Colbert made when he started having musical guests on his show. I figured he was doing the same thing as Jon Stewart, where on the daily show they've had a total of 3 musical guest (give or take) in the past eight years...Tom Waits, The White Stripes and Coldplay...not a bad line up.

Colbert started off with Canadian GODS, Rush. Awesome interview, excellent song (Tom SAWYER), Neil Peart drum solo (drool), and the next episode of The Report had Stephen waking up at the studio with Rush still playing (Ha ha! They have really, really long songs!).

Last night Crosby, Stills and Nash sang one of their protest songs (with Colbert dressed as the missing Neil Young, singing along).

But both of these performances book ended someone who just scared the shit out of me. And my fears were compounded when I readed The Huffington Post late yesterday.

Toby eff-ing Keith.

If you're not familiar with Keith, he a good ole boy country star. Likes his steaks thick, women submissive, and apparently his songs tinged with racism.

I thought that Colbert was going to rip him to shreds. But no. A bit of boot lickin' and a song was sung...I turned the channel.

And here's the song...highlighted with the SCARY part.

Well a man come on the 6 o'clock news
said somebody's been shot
somebody's been abused
somebody blew up a building
somebody stole a car
somebody got away
somebody didn't get to far yeah
they didn't get too far


Grandpappy told my pappy back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he'd done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street
For all the people to see

That Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune
And we'll all meet back at the local saloon
And we'll raise up our glasses against evil forces singing
whiskey for my men, beer for my horses

We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
too much corruption and crime in the streets

It's time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send 'em all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down
You can bet he'll set 'em down...

(courtesy of The Huffington Post)


GAH!


WTF?


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Greening the Driveway

I was send this link via the London Activist Network...

It's pretty cool!


http://www.frankejames.com/debate/?p=98

The Boycott Continues...




And the boycott continues...from my most reliable news source, PerezHilton.com:

-------

It's news like this that makes us happy we live in a FREE country.

According to new reports, China will censor the Internet used by the foreign media during the Olympics in Beijing.

This completely reverses the pledge the government had made to offer complete media freedom during the games.

Sun Weide, a spokesman for the organizing committee, said "During the Olympic Games we will provide sufficient access to the Internet for reporters."

He also added that journalists would not be able to access websites or any information connected to the Falungong spiritual movement, which is banned in China.

Weide added that some other sites would also be unavailable to journalists, but did not specify which ones.

Oh, and did we mention that the Chinese people have to deal with this every day? The same thing in Cuba.

Their government blocks out certain sites and restricts access to their people.

Craziness!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Time WASTERS!


I find this to be immensely satisfying.

If I worked in a post office I would be horribly unproductive...the bubble wrap would distract me!

Check out this website and pop some virtual bubble wrap, make sure it's on MANIC mode for the most enjoyable popping.

http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml

W00T!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

She Will SLAM DUNK You!




Check out this MASSIVE fight at last night's WNBA game, Detroit vs. L.A.

Will this make the Olympic bid for gold in Women's Basketball a bit tense?

Well, maybe now people will start watching the WNBA...

Check out a full clip at Perez Hilton...

http://perezhilton.com/2008-07-23-girls-gone-wildin-the-wnba

Monday, July 21, 2008

From The LondonCommons.net

I found this very interesting...


American Apparel's appeal to progressives?

tags:

Have you ever felt conflicted by the urge to support American Apparel's sweat-shop free practices and your reluctance to wear their gaudy clothes in public? I mean "Sweatshop-free" = good, and we always talk about voting with our dollars and supporting progressive companies right?

Well, don't worry about it. When you look a bit deeper, there's some pretty strong indications that American Apparel as a corporate entity isn't much more progressive then a rub-n-tug. By many accounts, AA's image is the fair labour and women's lib equivalent of a "Green Wash" (a "red wash" maybe?). Quite a few stories have popped up about allegations of American Apparel's union busting, degrading adds and the misogynist yuppie that runs it all... Google 'Dov Charney' and see what comes up. The guy is on his fifth sexual harassment lawsuit and his musing on domestic violence are interesting to say the least.

Don't take my word for it:

Thursday, July 17, 2008

One Of The Most Humiliating Moments To Date


10:45am

July 17th, 2008

Wonderland Rd. and Springbank Rd.
London, Ontario

I'm going to Oakridge to pick up a couple of friends for a day in Grand Bend soaking up as little rays as possible while coated in Australian sunscreen.

As I'm driving I stop at a red light at Wonderland and Springbank.

A guy in a big black SUV taps on his window.

I roll down my window:

Guy: You've got something hanging out of your door.

Me: Oh? Thanks.

Guy drives off.

I open my door and am completely horrified.

I have been driving for the past 5 kilometers with my bra hanging out of my door.

And it's not just a little end of my bra. It's the whole damn thing.

Apparently in my haste to get to Grand Bend I inadvertently hooked my bra on the inside stitching of my bathing suit that I was wearing. And somehow didn't realize it until a random guy pointed it out.

Great. Just great.

As if being unemployed isn't destroying my self-esteem enough.

Perfect.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Perks of Unemployment


Reason #2:

Napping!

And not just that, waking up for a nap and thinking:

"Oh shit, I've slept through...ab-so-fucking-lutely nothing. More napping!"

I am building up my endurance to have the sleep schedule I did as a newborn.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Perks of Unemployment

Reason #1:

I can stay up late and watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

Before I couldn't stay awake- now I don't have to worry since I'm not going anywhere.

It's good to laugh, rather than softly crying myself to sleep.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Spelling Bee Moments...

I love this kid-

Just what a speller should be, having a good time.

Attack of the Frizz

I took this picture when I was underwater in the observatory in the Great Barrier Reef. It demonstrates my intense frizz that I had that day. What you can't see is how pale I am from barfing on the boat.

I post this today to show you what I have to live with right now.

I don't like being discriminated against because I have intensely frizzy hair that cannot be contained. Or rather can't be contained with any product that costs less than $3/milliliter.

Couple that with the fact that I'm out of a job as of tomorrow due to a lack of funding and I'm very, Very, VERY PISSED OFF AT THE DAMN HAIR PRODUCT INDUSTRY FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SOME SORT OF BIZARRE ANOMALY WITH MY RED, CURLY, INCREDIBLY DRY, FRIZZY AND GRAYING (THANKS, DAD) WHACKED OUT HAIR. HAZEL, THE TRINIDADIAN HAIRDRESSER WON'T EVEN TAKE MY APPOINTMENTS ANYMORE, WHICH REALLY SHOULDN'T MATTER ANYWAY SINCE SHE GROSSLY OVER CHARGED ME ANYWAY FOR A CUT.

I think I may be projecting.

Anyway, I am taking donations of John Freida and Aveda.

Something to Ensure My Fear of Escalators Remains...

I have always had an irrational fear of escalators, but this video is intriguing.

It makes me want to take my tiniest friend and see if this really could work at Masonville Place.


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE?!


I stumbled across something deeply disturbing today.

Currently I'm going through my own teensy quarter life crisis. When one goes through these types of 'moments' it is not all that unusual to revert back to the good ole days when you felt comforted and safe. For me that means looking for nostalgia, and I have to cross one of my beloved childhood friends off the list. Strawberry Shortcake.

In the day and age where everything has to be hipper and more exciting more and more people/films/television shows are morphing this is almost an inevitability. Why expend some creative energy and make something new when we can destroy a beloved icon for emotionally unstable adults?

Couple that with the gross sexualized images of children (have we all not shuddered when walking past the Bratz dolls display?) and sacred icons of my eighties childhood are ruined...

I may be over reacting, but I really liked her bloomers.

Needless Machines

I'm a fan of the useless machine- not useless technology, that's different.

And recently I've rekindled my childhood interest in Rube Goldberg machines.

At engineer camp I was awarded the "Most Creative Ideas That Never Work" prize for my Rube Goldberg machine. This just further emphasized that engineering stifles creativity.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Is This What My Dad Is Like At His Office?

Ok, so I'm temporarily obsessed with The Office, the US edition. Partly because of Steve Carrell and partly because I'm oddly drawn to Rainn Wilson's character, Dwight K. Shrute.

I think it's because Dwight reminds me of my dad and what he might be like to work with. Since I've never actually been to my dad's office (the whole security clearance thing is oddly Orwellian), I can only hypothesize that this is what it may be like. However, I only think my dad would be exactly like Dwight K. Shrute if he were not married to my mom and still living with his parents. Luckily my dad is a bit cooler than that. If he wasn't married and living with his elderly parents I do think that people would confuse him for a more portly and bald Dwight.

Enjoy, Annie.

Why Don't I Have Any Brothers???

Ok, so do we all know about this???

In Depth
Aboriginal Canadians

Chemical valley
Aamjiwnaang First Nation in Sarnia sounds alarm over toxins

By Mary Ann Colihan, CBC News

Members of the Aamjiwnaang First Nation in Sarnia, Ont., think their reserve, which recorded the lowest rate of live male births in the world (two girls born for every boy) and high rates of death, miscarriage and disease, is beyond the saturation point for exposure to pollutants, and the community is making a public plea for action.

The First Nation held a symposium on the issue, funded in part by Health Canada, from March 25 to 27 in Sarnia. Leading scientists and environmental groups from across North America made presentations at the event, which highlighted the First Nation's concerns about the health of the Aamjiwnaang and their neighbours in an area known as "Chemical Valley."

A sign for the Aamjiwnaang First Nation Resource Centre is located across the road from a chemical plant near Sarnia, Ont. (Craig Glover/CP)

Data from Environment Canada's National Pollutant Release Inventory (NPRI) — the inventory of pollutants released, disposed of and sent for recycling by facilities across the country — show the reserve is ground zero for Ontario's heaviest load of air pollution. In 2005, 131 million kilograms of pollutants were released from 46 plants in Sarnia's Chemical Valley, the inventory says.

Chemical Valley plants also collectively emitted 16.5 million tonnes of greenhouse gases in 2005, according to NPRI figures. This represents 21 per cent of the total for Ontario, and more than the entire greenhouse gas emissions of British Columbia.

More worrisome for the Aamjiwnaang, exposure to toxic pollutants for people in the region is the highest in the province. The report says that 60 per cent of the 5.7 million kilograms of toxic air releases recorded in 2005 were within a five kilometre radius of the reserve. These pollutants are known to cause cancer or are associated with reproductive and developmental disorders among humans.

According to a 2007 report by Ecojustice (formerly the Sierra Legal Defence Fund), Exposing Canada's Chemical Valley: An Investigation of Cumulative Air Pollution Emissions in the Sarnia, Ontario Area, some of the area's chemical, petrochemical and power plants pollute more than others.

"We see the same names over and over on the list of Top Five," says Elaine MacDonald, the senior scientist at Ecojustice, which is Canada's largest non-profit environmental law organization. The companies that lead in emissions of carbon dioxide, volatile organic chemicals, hormone disruptors and heavy metals include Imperial Oil, Nova, Shell, Suncor and Cabot, MacDonald says.

Dean Edwardson, general manager of the Sarnia-Lambton Environmental Association, an industry group that represents 22 of the largest chemical and petrochemical companies in Chemical Valley, says the NPRI data has limitations.

"Some of the information that gets reported is estimated and may not be based in reality," says Edwardson. "It is industry's best attempt at getting data and I'm not sure there is a better way, but NPRI is a snapshot."

Nevertheless, when research about the skewed birth ratio was published in peer-reviewed journals in 2005, scientists from around the world started to call. The Aamjiwnaang pushed Health Canada to help fund the symposium on the issue that was held at the end of March.

Symposium

The Aamjiwnaangs' objective was to address the evidence of injury to health from exposures to chemical pollutants. They invited scientists from Canada and the U.S. and environmental activists from contaminated communities across the globe to the symposium to examine the data.

Ron Plain, the aboriginal program co-ordinator for Environmental Defence Canada and a founding member of the Aamjiwnaang environment group, says a mix of racism and poor municipal land use contributed to the reserve shrinking to live in industry's backyard. Another health survey pegged the band's miscarriage and stillborn rate at 39 per cent, he says.

The Aamjiwnaang also want to prove that the negative health effects are not just being felt on the 850-member reserve. Isaac Luginaah, an associate professor of geography at the University of Western Ontario whose studies focus on the environment and health, compared London and Sarnia hospital admissions data from 1996 to 2000. General hospital admissions were 47 per cent to 90 per cent higher for Sarnia residents. The difference in admission rates for cardiovascular and respiratory diseases in Sarnia were even more extreme — up to 300 per cent greater than in London.

Sarnia Mayor Mike Bradley is among those calling for action on the health problems, saying they are urgent and regional in nature. He has criticized Health Canada for trying to exclude the Aamjiwnaang and the local occupational health clinic from ongoing talks about developing a comprehensive health survey for Chemical Valley.

"There is a price to pay and we have to be realistic," Bradley says. "But when we talk about alliance, there should be no one missing in action."

Jim Brophy is the medical director of the Occupational Health Clinics for Ontario Workers in Sarnia, a Workplace Safety and Insurance Board-funded clinic that provides occupational health services and information. Brophy documented the high instance of asbestos-worker mortality in Sarnia — the highest in Canada — and sees a parallel between the old denials that asbestos made people sick and the reluctance to face the mounting evidence of disease from pollution.

The industry Sarnia-Lambton Environmental Association also supports conducting a proper, comprehensive survey of the impact of industrial pollution on the health of residents. It recognizes the area was a hotbed of mesothelioma (cancer from exposure to asbestos), and says the concerns of workers and the public are of great importance.

"We want to see a health study that supports or refutes the link between chemical exposure and health," says Edwardson.

Looking for clues

Dr. Warren Foster, an expert in reproductive health at the Hamilton Health Sciences Centre, says Canadian researchers are not sure why the sex ratio of 106 boys to 100 girls in Canada is fairly consistent except in areas such as the Aamjiwnaang community. His research points to what he calls endocrine toxicants. These are endocrine disruptors — chemicals that mimic hormones like estrogen, and that are found in pesticides, organo-chlorides, heavy metals and plastics.

Children from the Aamjiwnaang First Nation near Sarnia, Ont., play basketball behind the Band Office, which is located across the road from a chemical plant. The people of the Aamjiwnaang First Nation have a birth ratio of girls to boys that is two-to-one, a scientific anomaly. (Craig Glover/CP)

Dr. Foster says in-vitro fertilization research at Hamilton's Centre for Reproductive Care at McMaster University raises another possibility.

"Maybe the male embryo develops at a faster rate than does the female embryo and, as a result, may be more sensitive to environmental insult," he says. "Thus we may be losing males before we move into a clinical pregnancy."

Dr. Ted Schettler, a physician with the Science and Environmental Health Network, a U.S. network of environmental groups, notes that children, from fetus onward, are disproportionately susceptible to contaminants. Early exposure for children, even in the womb, can be linked to diseases that show up later in life, and failure to conceive is part of this continuum, he says.

The birth ratio is a clear signal that something is very wrong in Sarnia, he says.

"I think there is an enormous problem with not considering the cumulative nature of the emissions," says Schettler. "Some contaminants released are known carcinogens. When you mix them together in this complex soup that people regularly breathe here, the toxicology of that mixture is far more complicated than if we think about these single chemicals by themselves."

Calls for action

Michael Gilbertson recently completed his PhD thesis, a forensic audit of the Great Lakes Water Quality Agreement, a 1972 agreement that commits Canada and the U.S. to restore and maintain the chemical, physical and biological integrity of the lakes. The thesis is based on his 34 years with the Canadian federal government, including 16 years with the International Joint Commission, which resolves disputes relating to the use and quality of Canada-U.S. boundary waters. He says we know enough about risk factors and now political activism is more important.

"We have to form a new social movement," Gilbertson says. "We heard the stories from other communities that have been highly exposed. Now we have to organize to bring about political change."

Getting polluters to cut emissions is a challenge. Ecojustice says only 11 per cent of Chemical Valley plants reported to the federal government that they planned to reduce emissions in the 2006 to 2008 period, and 30 per cent of plants that are listed in the NPRI said they would increase emissions.

But SLEA thinks these statistics may not tell the full story. Edwardson says improvements require capital, and companies can be leery of making promises to the government that might not be kept.

"The problem with those numbers is that they are projections," he says. "There may be a reluctance to make improvements if you don't have the money in-house. Companies are always looking to make process improvements here."

Dr. Devra Davis, author of The Secret History of the War on Cancer, spoke at the symposium of communities like Reveilletown and Mossport, La., that were contaminated by chemical industry and where people chose to move away en masse. "We lost the ability to document the nature of the problem," Davis said.

Ron Plain wants the Aamjiwnaang reserve to stay where it is.

"Aamjiwnaang could be a model for the world, where a community and industry can work and live together prosperously," says Plain. "But industry has to take that initiative to begin to implement the best available technologies and lose their excuse that it is not economically viable."

Creepy...

Friday, June 06, 2008

Spelling Bee Moments...




Better than "Do the chickens have large talons?" moment.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Goodbye.

Hello.

I'm never coming back to Canada.

Nope, like it too much here, already.

Nice knowing you.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Soundtrack to my Life




Enjoy.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For each section below, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. DON'T LIE!!!

a) OPENING CREDITS
"Dreamer" ~ Hilary Duff

b) WAKING UP
"Gratitude" ~ Ani DiFranco

c) FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
"Go Home" ~ Barenaked Ladies

d) FALLING IN LOVE
"Rock Your Socks" ~ Tenacious D

e) FIGHT SONG
“Feeling Groovy" ~ Simon and Garfunkel

f) BREAKING UP
“Headache" ~ Liz Phair

g) PROM
“Building A Mystery" ~ Sarah McLaughlin

h) LIFE
“Soul Shake Down Party" ~ Bob Marley and the Wailers

i) MENTAL BREAKDOWN
“Everyone Says Hi" ~ David Bowie

j) DRIVING
“Can't Blame the Youth" ~ Peter Tosh

k) FLASHBACK
“Like a Virgin" ~ Madonna

l) GETTING BACK TOGETHER
“Outrageous" ~ Britney Spears

m) WEDDING
“Don't Lie" ~ Black Eyed Peas

n) BIRTH OF CHILD
“Baby Seat" ~ Barenaked Ladies

o) FINAL BATTLE
“Shut Up" ~ Black Eyed Peas

p) DEATH SCENE
“Intuition" ~ Feist

q) FUNERAL SONG
“Untold Stories" ~ Sinead O'Connor

r) END CREDITS
“All Good Things" ~ Nelly Furtado

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I Got Chills, And They're Multiplying


I seriously feel like shit.

Gross, gross, gross.

I thought it was the flu, but after waiting for close to two hours at the walk-in clinic, and a 5 minute visit by a doctor (and an awkward bra experience) it turns out that I don't have the flu.

I have bronchitis.

What's bronchitis you ask? I have no clue, but it makes me feel like crap. And I have a horse cough.

Oh, and I don't have sick time. I have to use up lieu time. And work overtime.

Now, annoying people will say things like "You're just getting it out of your system before you go Down Under". To which I nod and smile. Mom.

However, I see the bigger picture. This Thursday I am supposed to be in Windsor to do two presentations to two agencies. Both agencies I have canceled before because of weather. I am not canceling again.

Sigh.

23 DAYS TO GO!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

This Blog is Driving Me Crazy


Ok, I've been trying to upload videos all this week, but I'm having trouble with Blogger :(.

So, you'll have to take my word for it that High School Musical: On Ice was magical.

I was even amazing watching the 20 year old Anne-Marie strain herself to not jump out of her seat and sing along with the mediocre skaters and bad lip syncers.

Lovely.

The kickers was the fact that we could see the big bad Disney machine in full tilt...including Hannah Montana commercials, "Yearbooks" that cost $20 a piece, and $10 cotton candy (you got a free shitty hat with it).

Luckily we were with a couple of kids who; first didn't ask for a thing and second new exactly why they were selling all their over priced crap...to make money.

Round out the day with a quick lunch at McDonalds' and Jessie felt suitably devious.

p.s. I hope that my father and treacherous sisters are having a wonderful trip in the American south. Without me.

p.p.s. Annie, it's extremely sketchy in:

Louisiana: Vampires, debauchery, streets that smell like piss

Tennessee: Birthplace of the KKK, and mass murders (just like last week's)

Alabama: Birthplace of 9-1-1...wonder why they needed that so badly?

Saturday, February 02, 2008

I Want Some M.O.M.!


As I am getting ready for my trip to Oz, I'm trying to figure out what it is that I need to do.

And I've decided that I have to eat a kangaroo. Not a whole kangaroo, but at least a portion.

I hear that the kangaroo is somewhere between beef and venison, and I like both.

This intrigues me. Besides that, eating the kangaroo would be an opportunity to get closer to the culture of the Aboriginals of Australia since it was traditionally a food that they ate (and still do).

Apart from that, farming kangaroo is illegal, so all kangaroo that is eaten is wild. Thus the elimination of genetically modified marsupial.

When it comes to what cut I would like to try, there are many choices, I am reading. I could go with a filet, or perhaps a "kanga banga" (kangaroo sausage).

Besides that, eating kangaroo would be able to help the rampant population of kangaroos in Australia. There are about 50 million wild kangaroos running around doing what they do...I'm guessing that includes pooping in driveways, hopping, hiding in pouches and boxing.

Keep this in mind- there are over 50 million kangaroos in Australia. And there are only 21 million people. That's practically a plague.

And every part of the kangaroo is used! People drink the fluids (ew, none for me thanks, I want to get the Australian experience, but that's a little extreme), use the fur for rugs (I remember my stuff kangaroo Catherine got me when she first visited), and make purses out of the scrotum. Yes, the boy kangaroo's 'area' is used to make purses. Now, I like bags, but that one is a doozy.

The only thing will be to figure out what it's called on a menu. I've read that they farmers held a contest to see what it should be named, because people tend to think that kangaroos are sweet, cute and fluffy, not tasty. The winner was 'australus'. Other were kangarly, maroo, krou, maleen, kuja, roujoe, rooviande, jurru, ozru, marsu, kangasaurus, marsupan, jumpmeat, and MOM (meat of marsupials).

Hmm...sounds delicious.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Farcebook? Well, I'm still not getting off it...



So, I'm going to lots of classrooms and talking to kids about Facebook/webcams/MSN/etc.

And I'm finding that it's not just the kids who don't know a lot about their Facebook accounts...The Guardian newspaper put the Facebook privacy policy into easier understanding language. Enjoy!

Facebook's privacy policy

Just for fun, try substituting the words 'Big Brother' whenever you read the word 'Facebook'

1 We will advertise at you

"When you use Facebook, you may set up your personal profile, form relationships, send messages, perform searches and queries, form groups, set up events, add applications, and transmit information through various channels. We collect this information so that we can provide you the service and offer personalised features."

2 You can't delete anything

"When you update information, we usually keep a backup copy of the prior version for a reasonable period of time to enable reversion to the prior version of that information."

3 Anyone can glance at your intimate confessions

"... we cannot and do not guarantee that user content you post on the site will not be viewed by unauthorised persons. We are not responsible for circumvention of any privacy settings or security measures contained on the site. You understand and acknowledge that, even after removal, copies of user content may remain viewable in cached and archived pages or if other users have copied or stored your user content."

4 Our marketing profile of you will be unbeatable

"Facebook may also collect information about you from other sources, such as newspapers, blogs, instant messaging services, and other users of the Facebook service through the operation of the service (eg, photo tags) in order to provide you with more useful information and a more personalised experience."

5 Opting out doesn't mean opting out

"Facebook reserves the right to send you notices about your account even if you opt out of all voluntary email notifications."

6 The CIA may look at the stuff when they feel like it

"By using Facebook, you are consenting to have your personal data transferred to and processed in the United States ... We may be required to disclose user information pursuant to lawful requests, such as subpoenas or court orders, or in compliance with applicable laws. We do not reveal information until we have a good faith belief that an information request by law enforcement or private litigants meets applicable legal standards. Additionally, we may share account or other information when we believe it is necessary to comply with law, to protect our interests or property, to prevent fraud or other illegal activity perpetrated through the Facebook service or using the Facebook name, or to prevent imminent bodily harm. This may include sharing information with other companies, lawyers, agents or government agencies."

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

My Hotels!


















Check it out...

This is where I'm going to be staying in Australia (minus the lovely accomodations in the Canberra region).

The hotel on the right is the Four Point Sheraton, Darling Harbour where I'll be spending 4 nights. It's located on the harbour, and if I'm lucky enough I'll get a view of the harbour.

The hotel on the left is the Cairns International Hotel in Cairns where I'll be staying 3 nights. It's in the centre of Cairns, and across the street from a casino.

Sweet!

Flower Power




The below message was sent by Cory Morningstar...very interesting read as I've said before the flower industry is RIPE with chemicals and environmental destruction.

So the next time you think about getting your beloved some roses this Valentine's Day (first think about the validity of such a day), then look into buying locally grown flowers (potted flowers all the way!).


Valentine's Day - Flowers - At What Cost?

What we’re not hearing about in the MSM.

Many fresh cut flowers distributors are getting away with murder. Literally. Environmentalist Joan Root was shot & killed at her farm overlooking Lake Naivasha, in January, 2005. Her mission? Saving her beloved lake from the ecological ravages of Africa's lucrative flower-farming industry.

Lake Naivasha was once considered one of the world's top ten sites for birds and a paradise of clear water, with beautiful papyrus and water lily fringes. A haven for African wildlife and a major source of water for the lakeside's quickly growing population. Now - Lake Naivasha, Kenya's second largest lake, has shrunk to half its original size and its water level has dropped three metres. Vital wetlands, are degraded beyond recognition. Nowhere in the world is water from one lake basin used to supply drinking water to two basins, electricity to a whole country's grid and flowers & vegetables to a whole continent. The rotting tissues of the hippo carcasses reveal the secret to perfect bouquets - DDT and, 40 times more toxic, Dieldrin - pesticides banned in countries whose markets have made Kenya the world’s number on exporter. This is happening not only in Africa, but in developing countries all over the world. The corporations are able to rape the land, destroy the ecosystems and exploit the people. [Payment for ecosystem services is a rapidly developing economic means of restoring biodiversity around the globe. The price added to a rose or a bean would be a fraction of a cent.]

So – why has no one noticed flowers? No mandatory labeling for the consumer of any kind. One would think a label would be mandatory to inform, at the very minimum, where the flowers are grown. I guess we should not expect a label listing the pesticides that were used as apparently our government doesn’t feel it’s necessary for such a label even on our food, let alone cut flowers. Has the ‘Right to Know’ campaign ever made more sense? It seems that a mandatory labeling system is long overdue. Could we mandate that the amount of water & energy that was used be disclosed? Fair trade? Organic – obviously. Flower miles? I certainly would like to know this information.

I think until we start asking these questions – and demanding answers – nothing is ever going to change. I think flowers have been getting a free ride for a long time. Does any retailer in our city even sell ethically sound, sustainably grown flowers? Isn’t it time we asked? Isn’t it time we demanded nothing less?

This is an issue that has to be brought into the mainstream. To speak openly about such issues to friends, family and retailers is to create a dialogue to influence water policy making at a global level, thus assuring better living standards for people all over the world and more responsible social behaviour towards water issues which ultimately affect each & every one of us. Because there is no such thing as new water.

Thanks - c

http://www.sierraeco.com/default.asp

Did you know that when you give Sierra Eco flowers, you’re actually giving twice? Every time you give someone Sierra Eco flowers, you are also giving a family a chance to earn a decent living and provide for their children while preserving the environment for future generations. Sierra Eco - quality flowers that respect people and the environment!

http://www.ecoflora.ca/Now you can send flowers that are wildcrafted, organically grown, or fairly traded anywhere in the Toronto area.

California: Flower growers facing stiff foreign competition bet on organic
Full story:
Ottawa Citizen

Farmers who weathered a wave of cheap imports in the last decade by coaxing their fields to yield hundreds of harder-to-find varieties are increasingly betting on organic flowers, a nascent industry that is taking bloom on the heels of the organic food boom. Many in the industry hope the decision to go organic will eventually be an environmentally friendly but also a financially sound alternative for farmers trying to stay afloat. Though the market for organic flowers is still small - sales totaled $8 million [USD] in 2003, a fraction of the $19.4 billion consumers spent on all flowers nationally - it's growing fast. Consumers are increasingly willing to pay more for products made without chemicals harmful to workers or the environment. Organic flower sales are expected to grow 13 percent annually through 2008, according to the Organic Trade Association.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

APRIL 17TH, 2008 6:40PM

I BOOKED IT!

Very, very, VERY exciting!

W00T!

Last week I met with a travel agent and tonight, after finding out the last details, I told her to BOOK IT!

So I leave in April for 3 glorious weeks at the bottom of the world!

So much to see, so much to plan, I'll be spending some time with my family then hooking up with a tour.

And while I'm there I'll get to go to Canberra (the capital and Colin&Cath's home), Adelaide (where all the wine & Colin's fam are), Sydney (Nemo's home), Cairns (the "r" is silent- I know, I need to get fluent in Oz speak), and Brisbane (just the airport, though).

Aussie fact: Australia has the coolest sounding islands. They include: Christmas, Cocos, and Kangaroo.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

They Won

Well, I haven't updated in a while...but here's what I've been doing:

- 8 hours of hockey at the John Labatt Centre
- New Years at my place
- Meeting relatives
- 2 weeks of vacation (sleeping, hanging out, traveling!)
- Bought a new iPod Classic...80GB of storage...10,000 songs capacity
- Playing with my new crock pot
- Checking out Aussie flights and packages
- Thinking about the next job


Now, check out this video of the boys of Ontario enjoying their trophy. More on the hockey games later...


Friday, December 28, 2007

She's Gonna Cry



She's so gonna cry. Hard.

Hmmm...

What is she doing?

I hope she never finds this page.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Spirit of Christmas

A Gift...With Meat



This is the gift from me to my parents.

:-P

Monday, December 24, 2007

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Getting Into The Holiday Spirit


There was just a report on Detroit news about a holiday event that happened at the Somerset Collection in Troy, Michigan.

For those you don't know about Somerset Collection it's a high end shopping mall that attracts the snobby, elitist and consumer happy, i.e. Anne-Marie.

Sometimes members of my family will make the trek to the good ole U.S. of A. to shop until they drop, either financially or physically.

Well, it seems that an incident occurred at Anne-Marie's shopping Mecca.

Or should I say outside Anne-Marie's shopping Mecca.

It seems that swiping a parking space is no longer just an annoying event during the busiest shopping season, it can be harmful to your health.

Here's the down low: a car is waiting for a primo spot. Another car swoops in and takes it instead. A heated exchange started, insults thrown. People get out of the car. Fists are thrown.

And in stereo-typical American fashion a HANDGUN is whipped out.

Definitely on the naughty list.

Just another example of consumerism rearing its ugly head.

Merry Xmas!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Why I Hate The Dove: Real Beauty Campaign


This is getting ridiculous.

I hate the Dove campaign for real beauty.

I don't disagree that we should be embracing a shapes, sizes, colours, heights, wrinkles, etc., etc.

But the point I've been making for years about this campaign is that it still is A MARKETING CAMPAIGN.

The company, Unilever that owns Dove is probably interested in breaking down stereotypes. But I think it's important to examine intent in this case. Why is Unilever so interested in making me feel as though I'm just as beautiful as the models they used to use in their campaigns? Why has Unilever taken such an interest in making me feel valued? Are they perhaps encouraging me to feel beautiful? I guess there's nothing wrong with that.

So what does it mean to be beautiful? I feel good about myself, I gain confidence...and perhaps I'll feel good enough that I'm afraid I won't feel this forever...therefore I'll want to keep staying beautiful...there for I'll buy Dove products? Hmmm...

Now, don't get all uppity. This is what corporations do. They want to sell there products, make a profit. But for some bizarre reason this thought leaves our heads. Dove wants us to feel happy, proud and excited about ourselves. Dove cares about us. Dove wants us to know that not only are we beautiful, but they acknowledge that we're beautiful.

Ok. So what? Dove is selling products by emotionally manipulating us. That's what commercials are all about. Advertising is an integral part of our lives. Deal with it. Move on and appreciate that Unilever actually does give a shit....

What was that?

Really? No shit, are you serious, Hilary?

Well, that certainly changes things.

Thanks for the heads up Hilary.

Sorry, my friend Hilary just let me know what other products Unilever owns and markets like it's going out of style.

The product?

AXE BODY SPRAY.

Yeah, put that in your self-esteem pipe and smoke it.

If you don't know what Axe Body Spray is, allow me to enlighten you.

Axe Body Spray is Canada's leading male deodorant.

Shall we investigate how Axe is marketed?

What are your thoughts? Since Unilever is so dedicated to enhancing women's self esteem, surely their campaign would transfer to their entire line, right? It would only make sense, really.

Let me just check their website...hm. Interesting.

You will never believe this. It appears that the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty isn't so all inclusive as we are led to believe.

Let me get this straight...Axe is for men. But all I see on their website are pictures of women. How empowering! Um. Except. None of them really look like the Real Beauty women. Wonder why that is.

Let's read some of the stuff about their line...

Ok, ahem, not really what I would expect from a corporation so dedicated to raising self esteem...it seems if you wear the Vice line you can turn nice girls naughty. And if you wear Kilo girls in bikinis will come and you can "...teach them how to rub things together to start a fire." Well, I guess if you're into survival camping that would be use- oh, I get it. Not very empowering there.

Let's keep looking, shall we?

"Axe Effect...internationally recognized name for increased attention Axe wearing males receive from eager and attractive female pursuers".

Eager and attractive? Wow.

And you know what...there's even a box where you can report a "Naughty Girl".

Ok, who makes this shit up?

I get that perhaps this was a failed attempt to make fun of the mating process. But since Axe is #1 in Canada there is cause for concern.

So allow me to enlighten you.

A. Women do not pull off clothing because men smell good.

B. You are living in a dream world if you believe that your armpit stick will induce lust filled antics

C. If you use Axe, you're an asshole.


So, Axe Body Spray and Dove Real Beauty. Kind of doesn't make sense. Even if the Axe marketing is just for fun, doesn't poking fun at women's inability to respect themselves because of shitty shower gel some loser uses because he thinks it will get him commitment free relationships counter act what they're doing?

I mean, the Real Beauty campaign isn't just a commercial. They have actual programs and talk to actual girls.

How does that go?

Girls, feel good in your own skin. You are beautiful. The media has an unattainable image when it comes to the perfect body.

Now boys. Here's your Axe. Spray on, stand back and wait for the onslaught of attractive and eager girls. And don't worry, they will definitely look like the women you drool over in Maxim magazine.

If none of this has stopped you from buying Dove, then maybe Unilever's track record on abusing animals and child labour will.

No? Then you may be interested that Unilever is encouraging women to feel good about their size and shape, but not so much the colour of their skin. In fact if you want to they can sell you a cream that will lighten your skin. It's called "Fair and Lovely".

And if you use it along with other Dove products, well then there are no bounds to your real beauty.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

My Tacky Tree


Check. It. Out.

My tree, so so lovely.

The tinsel really adds the finishing touch.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Weekend Paper Reading Is About To Get Scary


Yes, you may have heard today that media tycoon and arrogant asshole, Rupert Murdoch purchased the The Wall Street Journal.

Great.

Now we know what this means. The right wing owner of Fox "News" now owns one of the most influential financial tomes in the land.

I wouldn't be surprised if all of a sudden the $1 million debt the US is accumulating every minute
is characterized as some sort of economic fake out.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

My New Job!


I'm teaching at Fanshawe College starting next month!

Very exciting- I will be teaching two sections of Community Development in the Social Services Worker program (the one I graduated from!).

I am PUMPED!





*Sidenote: the above illustration is just a joke, I in no way encourage the acceptance of money in exchange for good grades. But I will tell people if their work blows.

**Just kidding.